My Ex has not allowed me to see my daugher

[Park14]

My ex husband came home one day (three years ago) and send he wanted to be on his own. My world fell a part and he served me divorce papers on my birthday of that year. After three long years my divorce was granted and last year my father died of cancer. my dad wanted to see my daughter before he passed away and ex did not allow it. The divorced cost me thousands and has left me in so much debt. During the divorce my ex has not allowed me to see daughter since July 2020 just to hurt me and for financial gain. He has now asked for manitance from me when I earn just over 20k and he earns 150k per year. He has alienated my child away from me and no one can help. I have now applied to the court to see my daughter but i have very little faith in the system. i did nothing wrong and I was a good mother. I can no longer afford a solicitor so will be representing myself. My ex is judge and Jury himself and has not just cu me off from my daughter but all my side of the family. I am unable to function as I am in financial ruin, grieiving for my dad and trying to understand how some one so cruel can get away with this Please help

[quote user1471530109]@Mayaspecialist I'm sorry but you seem upset? Apologies if I'm reading your posts wrong.

Of course if the school ignore a parent it will be a genuine mistake! If they can't talk to the OP they will tell her. And just because her xh has said such and such to the school, they won't be able to stop contact with the mum without documentation. If they believed anything the xh (which we don't even know he has said!) it will have gone down as a safeguarding concern.

Why are you so sure the school won't be in contact? Help? Advise? In my 18 years as a teacher this is exactly what they will do! Even if it's to be blunt and tell OP they can't help.[/quote]
I am not upset. At all. Why would I be?
That's you projecting.

I have been where the OP is and out the other side with my daughter back home.

In the year, the op hasn't seen her dd, her ex could have done all sorts. Told them all sorts and even the dd could have said she wants no contact. She has contacted the school twice with no response.

It could be a mistake. Or they could be looking at their legal position or they could have told him.

Unless you have been there, you don't realise what you can get locked out of. What people think they know.

Dds school thought they knew I had, had a nervous breakdown and wasn't allowed to see them.

He even changed her gp. So I had no clue what was going on.

My point is, people keep telling op to contact the school or contact them daily. Or they will she will be able to see her dd there or they will be aware of the cultural part of this (where mothers are pushed out) or that pastoral care will support her.

When this isn't true. The year the op has been absent, is a year he has had to set everything up.

Op knows herself, these sorts of people are always several steps ahead.

OP you're on the wrong forum. Most posters on here just can't understand that these vile men exist and that it really isn't as easy as "fighting for your daughter"

If OP was a man who left the family home, hadn’t seen their child for a year, not paying maintenance, had money from a house sale but not used it on legal fees etc they’d have every poster coming down hard on them. Most of these threads are full of posters telling the female to leave their male partner because they are abusive and sharing their experiences of vile men so I don’t agree with your statement at all.
OPs posts were difficult to understand so many PPs was just trying to clarify what happened. And that includes asking the Qs that would be asked of a man eg is there a backstory and what have you done so far.

Thank All and Chocolatetrifle - I have taken everything on board and will let you know how i get on Monday with CAFASS. I appreciate all the comments

You will know more about the procedure after speaking to Cafcass on Monday. The best interests of the child will always be the main concern of the court.

I personally can't see that the school will be able to assist you in the short term. You have court proceedings underway now. Obviously I don't know the full facts or if your ex- husband has legal representation.

Write everything down in advance from the start in bullet points so you can refer to it easily in your meeting. You will need to explain reasons for your absence and what contact you have had with your daughter. How was your divorce settled? Make sure you are clear as to the full facts.

Are you agreeable to entering into mediation? It's usual to start with mediation so I'm not sure what your hearing for is in July. This may get adjourned now if you've only recently submitted your c100 form.

Good luck.