To have a fourth or not?…. Would you?

[Waddayathink]

I have 8 year old twins and a 5 year old… I’m very broody for another.
I’m 33, DH 43. Would you… or not?

We did. I absolutely wasn't done after 3 at neat 20 month intervals. They were 8, 7 and 5 when DS3 was born and he has completed our family. Then I felt done.

Be aware the decision may be taken out of your hands. We were still in discussions about it, when I got my BFP.

@troppibambini6 is right though - the washing, cooking and cleaning for 6 people is insane and you need a really good system and a husband prepared to pitch in. But they are a strong team and a party all on their own and there is always someone to make a sad child feel better.

Errm well I'm expecting number 6 so I say go for it. We have a set of fraternal twins in our brood.

If you can cope physically, mentally and financially then why not.

This need for help is not accurate. My husband is military so I live most days like a single parent, I became a sahm after number 2. I'm not bothered for a social life, much harder if you do crave that.

If you have the emotional and physical strength to parent a fourth and you could cope with the ‘what ifs’ (another set of multiples or a child with a life altering disability, for example) then go for it if it’s what you want! Two seems like plenty to me but I’m not you 😂 X

There are a fair few cars around with plenty of proper seats.

If you don't need too much boot space (just enough for a buggy) then there's the VW Touran or the Ford C Max, and if you need more space the the VW Sharan or SEAT Alhambra (same car) or the Volvo XC90 or the Ford Galaxy have full size seats all over. The Alhambra and Sharan have sliding doors, which I love.

I had three full car seats across the middle row of a VW Touran. And big car seats also fit in the back row of an Alhambra or XC90.

What would a fourth child bring to your family that the current three do not?

If you're both 100% on board, can support another financially, emotionally and physically then go for it. If not to any of those, then no.

Personally, I'm not ever planning on a third, let alone a fourth 😂

God no wouldn’t even cross my mind

yup.
we actually agreed on 4 before we got married.
ended up with 7🤣

go for it!

Not a chance.

In your shoes, I wouldn't.
And I'm not remotely jealous, by the way, for the fool who thinks other people are jealous of larger families

@GreyhoundG1rl

In your shoes, I wouldn't. And I'm not remotely jealous, by the way, for the fool who thinks other people are jealous of larger families

I find it hilarious when people think others are jealous of their large families. I have two DC and would be utterly miserable and exhausted if I had more.

@Comedycook

I agree!
we have a big family and I seldom hear anyone wishing they had the same.
I get a mix of disbelief, shock, awe and "rather you than me".🤣

I've had a few people tell me they would've loved a big family, but couldn't and it's lovely when people say encouraging things and being positive.

but of the hundreds if not thousands of people who have commented to both DH & me being envious has not been mentioned more than a handful of times!

7, Zing?? I'm going with awe, I think

I would like to have four but it just tips the scales of practicalities for us - we’d need a bigger home and car for starters. If those kinds of things are no issue to you then I would say go for it!

The fear of 5 would deter me if I'm honest

@GreyhoundG1rl

7, Zing?? I'm going with awe, I think

@GreyhoundG1rl 🤣🤣

I presume you did shake your head in disbelief for a second, perhaps even shuddered at the thought? 😉🤣

A very brief shudder; blink and you'll have missed it 😂
Fair play to you...

I have two DC and would be utterly miserable and exhausted if I had more
So if you'd had twins the second time would you really have had an abortion and tried again?

Twin mum here too.

I'd have 4. But can you afford the 4th actually being 4 and 5. Twins increase the likelihood of more twins.

If you want 5 children, go for the 4. If you can't support 5, I think it's very risky going for a 4th.

Three fit in the back seat of a car, four don't. So I'd stick at three.

Actually just got back from local high street and a mum with 4 kids aged 4-9 I guess was in the little refill shop in front of me - kids were running utterly wild trashing the shop and not following any instructions from the mother I thought the shop owner was going to cry. You can get badly behaved kids in any family size of course but 4 of them in a small space was rather overwhelming. My two teens announced they were never going to have any children at all 😁

@SleepingStandingUp

I have two DC and would be utterly miserable and exhausted if I had more So if you'd had twins the second time would you really have had an abortion and tried again?

Because that's exactly what I said

@MsTSwift our 5 wouldn't dare behave like that, I'd have their guts for garters if they did.

@SleepingStandingUp

I have two DC and would be utterly miserable and exhausted if I had more So if you'd had twins the second time would you really have had an abortion and tried again?

How in the name of God did you make such a ridiculous leap?