Grandparent names--who decides?

[morethangrand]

Who has final say in what grandparents are called, parents or grandparents? (Granted, it's often the child who dictates the final name!)

I was surprised to see a thread on Gransnet that suggested it should be the parents' choice. I'm 100% behind parents having full control over all decisions that affect their children, but have always assumed grandparents should get to decide what they want to be called.

What do parents think--and if you think it's the parents' call, can you explain why?

Full disclosure: I run a website with resources for grandparents, so this issue is one I need to understand better so I can give realistic advice!

I think its the grandparents choice- although I discussed it with my mum because in our family my late grandmother was 'granny' and we thought it might be a bit odd to call her that too. We asked DP's parents what they wanted to be called.

Lol. My parents decided on their grandparent names. First-born grandchild decided otherwise; lo, now they’re called that instead.

Parents get some say, surely? I would veto “Nan” or “Grandad” as I don’t like them. Would equally veto my parents’ partners being called “Auntie So-and-so” or “Granny So-and-so” as they’re not.

I asked them what they wanted. To be fair, they were all already grandparents for my niece and nephew so names were already picked, but I think they chose them anyway.

Quite often the child decides, or at least, they try to say a version of what the adults have decided and it sticks.

Our DS was the youngest grandchild on both sides so all the grandparents already had established names through their older grandchildren and we didnt want them to have to have different names for different grandchildren! It's annoying as we have a nanna a nanny a grandad and a grandpa. I would have preferred a gran and a nan as its gets confusing for my sleep deprived brain!

I think originally 2 grandparents decided and told the parents what their name was going to be so then the parents had to ask the other grandparents would they mind be x and x so they didnt have doubles.

So we asked for input but we wanted a different name for each side (eg nanny and grandma) rather than Granny June and Granny Lois. And also the same name across the cousins (eg my siblings children call my parents the same thing). Fortunately our child is the first on one side and second on the other and the new grandparents chose different names to the established grandparents. So we have Grandma and Grandad, and Granny and Grandpa.

Grandparents with parents having veto rights.
My mum was rooting for “Mama” because she was in denial about being old enough to be a grandma I booted that into the long grass. She went for something pretty left-field but at least not another name for mummy.

@WithLoveFromMyselfToYourself

Grandparents with parents having veto rights. My mum was rooting for “Mama” because she was in denial about being old enough to be a grandma I booted that into the long grass. She went for something pretty left-field but at least not another name for mummy.

My dad pushed hard for Fun Uncle HisName. Nope.

I let the grandparents decide purely because it's what their going to be known as for years.
I would never dream to say right your grandma and your granny.

My parents and ILs chose for themselves. I cannot imaging caring tbh!

I asked my parents what they wanted to be called.

I've only ever had a Grandma and didn't know female grandparents were called anything else until I was an adult. So, when I was asked I just said Grandma. The other Grandma said the same. We are both Grandma but as she lives closer I'll probably end up as Grandma Dis, I'll be happy because my DIL is lovely and my granddaughter knows she is loved.

Grandparents choice. It is their name they will be referred to

I would have said grandparents can choose what they want to be called. Until I read this thread, and saw that one grandmother wanted to be called Mama! That would have been a No!

Ours chose for themselves but one already had grandchildren who called her Nan. We have two grandads, usually differentiated by "and nanny" or "and grandma". My granny was still alive when my eldest was born so my mum wouldn't use that, and grandma is what I called her mum.

We asked what they wanted to be called. Both grannies chose Granny, so if we are distinguishing between them they are known as Granny Nameoftheplacetheylive - like Granny Island and Granny Mainland in Katie Morag!

Grandparents choose when their first grandchild is born and all their subsequent grandchildren use the same moniker.

All the grandparents chose their own names. I really dislike what my MIL calls herself but apparently Mamma is common as a grandmother name in the north of England.

A friend is Grandma Seaside in contrast to Grandma Dog. Named because they were both grandma, but needed distinguishing for the child each time they were talked about.
I know which I would rather be!

FIL wanted to see what the kids came up with but liked the id of being Pops and obviously we needed to call him something because the kids magically came up with something so he's Pops

Great MIL is grandma regardless of generation or being actually related

My family has some interesting ones for the great grandparents including big nanny and double G and then the more standard ones too

We asked my Mum (and she is the only Grandparent).

She chose Granny, although was Aggy for looooong time as DS couldn't say Granny for some reason

I would say it's the choice of the Grandparent generally (going back 40 odd years one of my Grandad's did not want to be referred to as Grandad so we always used his first name)

Grandparents choice here, though in practice the eldest grandchild couldn't manage the proper names they wanted and now their version have stuck for all subsequent gc.

GPs chose but to be honest I wish we had spoke out more as we ended up with 4 Grandads and eventually they all became Grandad first name which they didn't seem to like! I wish we had encouraged unique names meaning similar from the get go (e.g. Gramps, Pops etc) although personally I can't stand made up names so maybe it was for the best after all as who knows what they would have chosen

Grandparents choice within reason. I hate mil and pils choice with a passion but ignore - I find it naff but it’s what DH called his grandmother so I just go with it.

They chose. Kind of…. one is named nanny dog. Because she has a dog