Grandparent names--who decides?

[morethangrand]

Who has final say in what grandparents are called, parents or grandparents? (Granted, it's often the child who dictates the final name!)

I was surprised to see a thread on Gransnet that suggested it should be the parents' choice. I'm 100% behind parents having full control over all decisions that affect their children, but have always assumed grandparents should get to decide what they want to be called.

What do parents think--and if you think it's the parents' call, can you explain why?

Full disclosure: I run a website with resources for grandparents, so this issue is one I need to understand better so I can give realistic advice!

My dc have 5 grandparents.

MIL was nanny (regional, and already known as such by her other GC), dm was Grandma (I had 2 grandma's, shortened to granny-name to identify but always grandma face to face, my mum is always grandma) and my stepmum is Granny-name. My mum didn't like step mum having a formal grand parent name but they have known nothing else.

My dad is grandad and fil grandad from (Town) as the dc only see him rarely.

We had a brief chat with all gps beforehand, was presented as a 'is this ok' rather than 'what would you like'

Horrible Grandma, anyone?
🤣

Sisters family was Bonker and granny horse, old granny and granny.

Ours is Mamie X and Papou
Mamie Y and Mamie Z and Mémé
And granny and grandpa

See my username - chosen by eldest GS when he learnt to talk

We let the Grandparents choose. I might have vetoed something completely outlandish but that was never really a risk. We're lucky they all went for different choices so we have a Grandma, a Granny, a Grandpa and a Grandad which makes it easier but it wouldn't have mattered if we'd had two Grandma's or something.

@waitingforwinter so frustrating 😂 she's so good with everything else so why does she have to be so different with this?!

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba it reminds me of the character Mimi Maguire from Shameless - it's all I can think about 😂

[quote Baker0104]@waitingforwinter so frustrating 😂 she's so good with everything else so why does she have to be so different with this?!

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba it reminds me of the character Mimi Maguire from Shameless - it's all I can think about 😂[/quote]
@Baker0104

🤣

that's as good a reason as any!
I thought maybe it was another vagina euphemism, like Minnie

I have already asked my DM what she wants to be called and we don't have DC yet!

I can't remember what she decided other than she didn't want to be called Granny as she's only in her 50's.

Naturally I have now decided she'll be Granny Chicken (she keeps chickens) said in a stereotypical 'old lady' voice and now refer to her as such to my cats in her presence.

"Oh look...Granny Chicken's here to see you!"

I no idea this was a thing. We just say nanny and grandad followed by their name. The grandchildren then add their own twist.
Didn’t Prince George call the Queen Gary for a while, because he couldn’t pronounce grandma?

Both myself and OH called our grandparents Nanny first name and Grandad first name so it was natural to go with that and grandparents are happy with it. FIL’s wife picked her own name.

We only have grandparents on one side so there was no conflict. We just asked them what they wanted to be called, which turned out to be Granny and Grandad. That worked out well as my (deceased) mum had always hated Granny and would have wanted to be Nanna. Now my son is old enough to talk about my mum, we refer to her as Nanna. However if there had been a conflict with two sets of grandparents wanting to be called the same thing, then we would have discussed.

My DS couldn’t say Granny at first anyway, so she was called Annie and that kind of stuck.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba
Haha nope! Just makes me think of that character... I even showed her a picture and said look do you really wanna be referred to like that? She just keeps saying she doesn't care 😂 I think my other half is gonna have to just be firm with her and say no 😂
In the grand scheme of things (when it comes to nightmare MIL's) it's really not that bad.... But it will make me cringe everytime I hear it lol