Defensive parents - iPads

[Imbarb]

Why do other parents get get defensive whenever I say I don't give my 2 year old an iPad? 🧐

Are you neurotypical?

Basically you told your friend (who presumably allows her 2yo to use an iPad and whose child has less advanced speech than yours) that your dd has advanced speech because unlike her child, yours does not have access to an iPad.

The normal reply would have been "She chats all day" or "I don't know how she compares to her peers as she's not at nursery" or whatever. Linking the lack of iPad (or your superior parenting) to her advanced speech (or your superior parenting) is massively smug. Most people would see your reply as a passive aggressive dig at their decision to allow iPad time.

Hmm... it comes across a wee bit smug. The first comment does anyway, there was absolutely no need to bring iPads into it.

I can see your point about parents being defensive though. I suppose we all want to think we're doing the best for our kids. I don't really think there's a "right" or a "wrong" way to handle screen time.

I've always let DD who is now 7 have as much screen time as she wants. I've never limited it and she's the brightest, loveliest wee kid going! Similarly I'm sure your kid is bright, lovely and all that jazz. I think it depends on the individual kid really?

Ok OP, so genuine question... Do you judge parents who let their children watch iPads?

I shared a conversation with my friend who told me my toddler spoke so well for her age and I replied 'I have nothing to compare it to other than I guess she's not yet glued to an iPad'

So you think the only POSSIBLE reason for a young child talking well for their age would be because they’re not ‘glued to an iPad’?

You obviously do think this.

I wonder why?

I suspect you’re not the most socially adept, OP.

Because someone who knows how to rub along well with people just wouldn’t say something like this. It’s often what you don’t say that oils the social wheels.

So well done on the great parenting front.

But you might want to brush up on the social skills front, both for your own sake, and your DC’s.

Sorry OP, but it does sound smug. A person comments on your child speaking well, and you link that to the lack of iPad? Why? Why not the million and one things that are likely to make your child a more confident talker? (Note iPads do not cause advanced speech). It's just odd. My daughter was an advanced talker, and when people used to point it out, I used to say something about how they just learn things in different ways, and she wasn't a confident walker... or how I'd wish she'd shut up sometimes. I would certainly have never pointed out something that is derogatory to another person's parenting.

And no, I'm not defensive - my children didn't have iPads at two either because they weren't invented back then.

It's obviously the way you say it and the negative language you use about ipads. You're the one that's bringing them up or fanning the flames further.

Abstain from commenting on ipads and people won't get defensive about it .

Do you interact with other humans normally? Because that is obviously a dig to most people.
You know it too. That's why you started this thread.

Op, I think you are very much aware of what your comments came across.

I shared a conversation with my friend who told me my toddler spoke so well for her age and I replied 'I have nothing to compare it to other than I guess she's not yet glued to an iPad'

OP, you sound ridiculously smug and horribly judgemental.

And no, I'm not being defensive because my teenage dd has never had an iPad and certainly didn't use one when she was a toddler.

You need to understand that, if you make unnecessary statements that appear to criticise other people's parenting, the vast majority of people will have a somewhat defensive response. If you keep quiet about your anti-iPad stance without ramming it down other parents' throats at every possible opportunity, you'll find that most people don't really care what you do with your kid.

I fear that parenting is going to be a rather difficult journey for you....

yeah you sound smug and judgy with a side of faux innocence

It could be one of two things either when you say it, you imply that you're judging those who do use iPads or the people getting defensive aren't happy with how much they're relying on them so they feel attacked. It's v context dependant so it's hard to say but at the minute when loads of people are trying to juggle wfh with Easter holidays/pandemic related childcare issues I'd say most people (myself included) are using iPads as childcare more than we're happy with at the moment so normal screen time rules don't apply!

@Ineedcoffee2021

yeah you sound smug and judgy with a side of faux innocence

Gosh yes who me?

why would a 2year old need an ipad though ? 🤔

@WisnaeMe

why would a 2year old need an ipad though ? 🤔

Love your perplexed little emoji there, like it’s a genuine conundrum.

It’s unlikely the 2YO needed an iPad. Rather, its parents just wanted to get it one, probably?

It’s very young in most people’s books - but it’s also a free world, and people can actually do whatever they want.

If you seem judgey when mentioning iPad use then stop mentioning it, there’s no need.

@SmellsLikeWineIGuess

nasty

Well, honestly...

@SmellsLikeWineIGuess

Well, honestly...

yes you were being snidey and there is no need.

It’s quite obvious that a 2YO doesn’t need an iPad, and that there would be a reason other than ‘need’ for purchasing them one.

Anyway - enough derailing of the thread.

I wonder if the OP will be returning.

@SmellsLikeWineIGuess

Love your perplexed little emoji there, like it’s a genuine conundrum.

there was no need for your snidey reply.

I was on your side when I read the first post but your updates are appalling. Maybe work on your social awareness OP. You do come across as judgemental and smug. I'm not surprised those people reacted that way!

I've never been smug, what's there to be smug about? It really does trigger so many parents though quote clearly shown in these responses

😂😂😂

You're Either deluded or a troll.

@WisnaeMe

why would a 2year old need an ipad though ? 🤔

entertainment cos shock horror, even a mother has to shower, eat, look after other kids and sometimes its just easier after a long stressful day and thats more than ok