Lack of tummy time has impacted my baby

[knitting774]

My DS has always hated tummy time, crying whenever he was put on his front. Because of this I gave up trying and now, at 11 months, he’s behind on his gross motor skills.

I blame myself for not continuing the tummy time and picking him up when he got upset. I should have left him on his tummy to figure it all out and build up muscle strength, rather than giving in.

I’m so worried that he still can’t crawl or get into sitting position from lying down. I decided to really work on the tummy time and made myself do 20 minutes a day with him every day in March, but it hasn’t made a difference.

He will slide backwards on his tummy and slowly rotate around on his stomach, but can’t get on all fours.

I have to entertain him constantly whilst he’s on his tummy - he’s fine (just about) when being entertained but as soon as I stop he starts crying.

Is there anything else I could or should be doing? I’m at a loss and am feeling so anxious about it. I’m also beating myself up that I didn’t try harder from day 1.

I very much doubt its all linked to lack of tummy time. He may well have been delayed anyway regardless of anything you did or didn't do.

He doesn’t weight bear either and I have no idea how to encourage this. I can’t hold him in standing position for very long at all because he’s quite heavy! He has a Jumperoo but I’m worried that’s actually made it worse as it encourages him to stand on his tiptoes rather than flat feet.

What about trying those tummy time support cushions so they're not completely flat

@knitting774 Do you use Instagram at all? I follow an amazing page on there called “an activity a day” which gives hundreds of activities and things you can do to improve motor skills 😊

My DM says there was no such thing as tummy time when we were children, and yet we all learnt to crawl, etc eventually. I very much doubt you are to blame for anything. He'll get there (but if you're worried about it maybe ask your health visitor to come and see him to put your mind at rest).

Honestly this isn't because you didn't do tummy time, my DS hated it too so I also never did it. Equally, mum didn't do it with me (it wasn't a thing then) It had no impact. I'm sorry things are hard but this isn't your fault.

I did loads of tummy time OP, much to my dc’s disgust, and they didn’t crawl until 10 months and then didn’t walk or stand up on their own away from furniture until 16 months. Then they ran and never stopped! Whenever I held them up to stand they dangled their legs like a puppet rather than weight bearing.

What I’m trying to say is don’t worry! Babies develop at their own speed and will get there. I remember being really upset by the 9-12 month questionnaire for the health visitor check as I felt they couldn’t do anything (and I had boasty nct friend with wonder children) but actually mine is now 2 and a bit and is fine and has totally caught up!

That does sound delayed for his age if he can’t pull him self along at all or get into a sitting position. Can he sit unaided otherwise? Muscles are developed in all sorts of positions it’s not because you haven't done Tummy time. Plenty of babies don’t and manage fine.

Make an appointment with health visitor or GP just to check what is going on. Could just be he’s slower than average but perfectly fine. But you will worry if you don’t check.

My 4 children all hated tummy time and rarely did it. They all eventually cruised at about the right time. I don't remember any of them crawling much. They all walked at around 12/13/14 months apart from one who didn't walk until much later, around 17 months. He had done no more or less tummy time than the other three but turned out to have hypermobility syndrome/ED. He needed some physio and walked on his toes for a long time but now as a teen is pretty much fine. Sometimes tie walks a bit but and has some digestive issues but as he is very tall (and slim), that has helped him remember to walk more flat footed. he plays sports etc.

Anyway, my point is, this was genetic and nothing to do with tummy time, so a) your baby is still very young at 11m for lack or motor skills to be too concerning? And b) if there are any issues, it may not be related to lack of tummy time. My HM son never rolled over either, as well as walking a bit later and the toe walking. 11m is still v young though to worry about potential issues I think?

That does sound delayed for his age if he can’t pull him self along at all or get into a sitting position. Can he sit unaided otherwise?

Yes, he can sit well unaided if put in the sitting position.

My dd didn't tummy time. She crawled at 10 months and walked at 14 months. She didn't weight bear until a week before she walked!! She never rolled either. When she was nearly 3 she would still be in her cot where I put her. Ds on the other hand rolled from 4 months, crawled 8 months and stood up all the time even in bed!! Both normal, very active children just different.

Honestly, don't beat yourself up about it. I'm a grandma, and "tummy time" didn't exist when mine were babies. They used to sit up in the high chair and play , or we'd put them in a playpen and they'd do their own thing. But they all ended up walking and doing all the good things in time.

Lack of tummy time isn't to blame. I had an early starter and a late and both got loads of tummy time. I have friends who did none at all and their little ones developed fine. My late starter never really crawled, he just went from rolling around to standing at about 15 months. I'd been beside myself but they all get there in the end. If you're really concerned he's not developing as normal speak to GP or midwife but from what you've said it sounds quite normal x

@110APiccadilly

My DM says there was no such thing as tummy time when we were children, and yet we all learnt to crawl, etc eventually. I very much doubt you are to blame for anything. He'll get there (but if you're worried about it maybe ask your health visitor to come and see him to put your mind at rest).

Tummy time didn't need to be a thing then because babies were just out on a rug on the floor to play/amuse themselves & didn't get picked up every time they furrowed their brow. These days there are so many 'gadgets' to keep babies sitting/standing an amused 'tummy time' is 'a thing'.

Tummy time is important. It's also important for the development of the internal organs/digestion etc.

@knitting774. A lot of people don't do it when the baby doesn't like it. You're not alone in that. Now your son is bigger/older playing without him on the floor will help. There's lots on line. But plenty of crawling around. Hands & knees playing 'boo', letting him crawl on you, over you. Things he can
pull himself up on. Bare feet is goid for him too.

Oh, and he babbles a lot but can’t say any actual words yet either. My friend’s baby has been saying mama and dada since 8 months.

@dementedpixie

I very much doubt its all linked to lack of tummy time. He may well have been delayed anyway regardless of anything you did or didn't do.

Absolutely. There never used to be an activity specifically called 'Tummy time' but most parents would put their baby on their front for a while from time to time and stop if they didn't like it. It just wasn't thought about, things came about naturally.

Children develop at their own pace. Come back in two months and tell us how he is doing, he is most likely absolutely fine and normal.

Things he can pull himself up on.

I don’t have anything he can pull himself up on. I’m not sure what to get!

Tummy time is a relatively new concept. Yes its beneficial but it isn’t something that had been done through the whole of human evolution. You are being way harsh on yourself. Keep up the good work and speak to your health visitor if you are concerned.

Is your friends baby a girl? In my various baby groups over the years anecdotally the girls tended to speak earlier than the boys.

@knitting774

Things he can pull himself up on.

I don’t have anything he can pull himself up on. I’m not sure what to get!

Ours used the couch or dining chairs or people's knees or the coffee table in the living room. We didn't buy anything specific

Some don't like tummy time, some babies don't crawl and bum shuffle etc. There are normal milestones but the range is very wide. Walking can be anyway between 9 months and 17 months. All mine were late with all the physical milestones.

I apparently didn't crawl at all. Went straight to walking, but when I was a year old. Babies didn't have tummy time then, it's a relatively new thing.

You need to remember not all babies do things by the book. Put the baby books away and ignore the mums who baby boast.

Your baby might be slower in one area, and more developed in another. All babies are different.

I thought the reason that there never used to be a thing called tummy time was because in previous generations babies were typically put to sleep on their fronts so would have naturally developed those gross motor skills?

Regardless we didn’t do much of it as DD also hated it and she walked at 10 months. OP I seriously doubt it’s anything you’ve done, don’t beat yourself up about it.

My baby is the same age and is not able to get into sitting or pull to standing yet, he will weight bear if I support him upright on my lap and can roll around the floor. He has done plenty of tummy time. He also babbles a lot but hasn't assigned any of his sounds to things/people yet. My last little one was crawling by 7 months and walking by 10.5 months, he hated tummy time! He didn't roll until after her could crawl.

Babies will pull themselves up on whatever is to hand when they are ready, they will use you, the sofa, a bookshelf, anything really.

Don't be so hard on yourself, babies develop at different rates so there's no telling if it's because of tummy time. My siblings all started standing/ walking between 10-14 months but I didn't start until I was 22 months. It hasn't made a difference to the rest of my life. Though I do feel for my poor mum who was stuck carrying me around while she was heavily pregnant!