Lack of tummy time has impacted my baby

[knitting774]

My DS has always hated tummy time, crying whenever he was put on his front. Because of this I gave up trying and now, at 11 months, he’s behind on his gross motor skills.

I blame myself for not continuing the tummy time and picking him up when he got upset. I should have left him on his tummy to figure it all out and build up muscle strength, rather than giving in.

I’m so worried that he still can’t crawl or get into sitting position from lying down. I decided to really work on the tummy time and made myself do 20 minutes a day with him every day in March, but it hasn’t made a difference.

He will slide backwards on his tummy and slowly rotate around on his stomach, but can’t get on all fours.

I have to entertain him constantly whilst he’s on his tummy - he’s fine (just about) when being entertained but as soon as I stop he starts crying.

Is there anything else I could or should be doing? I’m at a loss and am feeling so anxious about it. I’m also beating myself up that I didn’t try harder from day 1.

He is just 11 months old!

At that age, ds wasn't moving either. He was just sat waiting for people to move him around.
He still walked at 12 months old (and no he never crawled, just bump shuffling for a couple of weeks).

He is not massively behind his gross motor skills. He is also no behind with hs speaking.
Enjoy your child, follow his clues. You have no reason to worry just now.

@purplejungle

Recommend following milestones and motherhood on Instagram - she's a paediatric physiotherapist who recommends all sorts of activities to promote gross motor skills.

Her recommendation is that if a child is not meeting a milestone 2 months after children typically meet the milestone - it's worth getting professional advice. Although most children get there eventually in their own time, if there is an underlying issue early intervention is the key, as the longer it's left the more the child could fall behind.

The thing is, the OP's child isn't behind. Most children start walking around their first birthday and her ds is only 11 months old.

Honestly there is no way you or any HCP could 100% say for certain that lack of tummy time has caused this. It may well have happened anyway, please don’t feel guilty. You can’t force a screaming baby to face plant on the floor for 20 mins, I’d have done the same if I was you.

Both of mine were (6 month son still is) horribly vomity when on their fronts, hence we did very little tummy time as it was too distressing and messy for everyone involved. Both of them are completely on track physically.

One thing we never did was use baby walkers, jumperoos, baby seats or anything like that, and gave them lots of floor play with toys to help them develop their own muscles and coordination. I’m not sure if that’s outdated advice or not, and you may be doing that anyway.

There is a range of “normal” and if your DS is still behind in 3 months, I’m sure your HV will get involved and refer if needs be. Best thing you can do is encourage him to have lots of play time and watch and wait. You’re doing a great job xx

Two of mine never did tummy time stuff, hated it and one had disabilities where they physically couldn’t. One ended up rolling to get where they wanted to go, never crawled, never bum shuffled just rolled and then pulled themselves upright and cruised around at around 12mths. The other day up around 12mths and bum shuffled everywhere and started cruising around 18mths but they had a few challenges.

At this point you could never picked which ones of my kids crawled/didn’t crawl, bum shuffled/didn’t bum shuffle, walked early/walked late. It didn’t lead to any patterns throughout childhood.

Watch an episode of Bluey called Baby Race.

All babies are different, I have 2 girls and they are total opposites. 1 walked at 10 month the other at 16 months. One was talking well at 9 months the other at 18 months. If you are really concerned call your HV but I wouldn't be panicking yet if I were you.

DS1 didn't crawl. He bum shuffled and then got up one day and cruised the furniture. But never crawled. And that was with tummy time.

Don't beat yourself up OP, babies develop at different rates and at different times.

@GrumpyHoonMain

You mentioned you find him to heavy to pick up. Is he obese? If so you probably need specialist advice. In the meantime make sure you’re giving him plenty of floor time - tummy time is just the twee way to say core strengthening exercise, but there are plenty of ways he can figure them out even on his back. Just letting him try to sit up from a laying position will gradually improve his core.

Also see if you can find one of those electronic balls that move itself. He may start trying to follow it.

Jesus Christ, he's a young baby, he's not obese! Way to kick someone when feeling vulnerable. Some people on MN can really be fucking horrible sometimes.

I never heard of tummy time with my first she was delayed as she turned out to have special needs
Haven't really bothered going it with second and he's met all mile stones without help
Seek proper advise if you think there's a delay

Comparison is the thief of joy.
Unless there is genuine concern from medical professionals, keep doing what you’re doing and it will all fall into place.

Haven't read full thread but please don't worry. Neither of mine crawled before 11 months. My DD was almost 1. Both didn't walk until 16/17 months. You'd never know now!

My DD basically scored a zero on gross motor skills at her 12 month check. We've just had her 2 year one abs she can do everything asked. She can run, jump, climb stairs the lot.

I failed to do tummy time with my eldest, he never crawled he was quite heavy too. Walked within days of his first birthday having failed to crawl at all. Always had really good balance too so he never really toddled just walked.

Definitely share your worries with your health visitor OP and please don't worry too much comparing your baby's development to your friends' babies or what you are reading in books.

As other older MNers have said, there was no such thing as tummy time when mine was a baby. This was 20 years ago so not at the time when babies slept on their tummies either .

My DS was slightly behind in a lot of things, I worried too, and he caught up eventually so please don't worry too much, babies all develop at different rates . Mine really didn't do crawling, I remember being able to leave him propped up by cushions and he wouldn't move , although He caught up later!

Honestly OP everything you are describing sounds completely normal and I would question if your baby is even behind in development.

Gross motor development between 0-18 months is so so variable between children. You will have children walking before they're 1 and jumping off both feet at 18 months and at the other end there will be children who haven't taken their first step unaided by the same age. When both are 2.5-3yrs, you won't be able to tell them apart.

You've done nothing to harm your baby and certainly do not need any special equipment. When things start to reopen, if you feel comfortable, take them to baby gym or soft play with baby area which will encourage and motivate all those skills but remember, he will develop them regardless.

Don't worry, you've not failed your child in any way at all

This isn't a tummy time issue. DS had plenty of tummy time and is still later in his gross motor skills. He crawled at 14 months and at 16 months he still doesn't walk although he loves cruising. As they say comparison is the thief of joy.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t think that is the reason your baby is delayed. It is probably another reason that isn’t your fault. And maybe baby will just catch up. Have you see the GP about this? Try looking online or on YouTube on baby exercise or activities you could try doing to help build strength. All three of my babies didn’t care for tummy time and I didn’t force it. They would last a couple minutes and then we would stop. But I would put them on tummy a few times a day even if it was just one minute. Eventually when they were older and wanted to crawl etc they were more keen to go on tummy.

Access your health visitor for reassurance but please please don’t compare your babies to others they’re all so different.

I’ve no patience for tummy time and didn’t bother with it. DS1 was walking at 9 months DD looks like she’ll be almost 2 years before she bothers trying it’s all in the range of normal.

What the hell is tummy time? Is this something that we’ve probably done for years without having a name and a time schedule attached to it?

Christ. OP, he's not "behind". He's a baby, they develop at varying rates because guess what, we're not all the same.

Jeez-oh. Who pissed on your chips? A first time mum is a bit concerned. Go a little easy!

Tummy time is just time off their backs really - so being held upright counts, being in a sling counts. Floor time is great, encouraging them to reach and stretch for toys (on front and back). That being said, they get there in their own time - my DS rolled at 4 months, crawled at 7 mo and then nothing happened and he didn't walk till 17 months. I endured the baby group head tilt a lot.

Like a PP wisely said up thread you get to 2.5/3 and you can't tell who walked when or who crawled or bum shuffled.

Ah I was right. Otherwise known as letting your baby play and holding them

My dgd had heart surgery at three days old. She couldn’t have tummy time ( I didn’t even know this was a thing btw). She’s absolutely fine walked at 13 months having never crawled.

And here’s me over here longing for my stationary baby so I can stay seated for more than 30 seconds😬.

I didn’t do tummy time either OP, he’s 9m old and Christ he is everywhere all the time, crawling, cruising and climbing. I made no effort in that they’re just different.

As others have said, have a chat with your HV or your GP. Our DS was delayed in getting himself into a sitting position if he was on his side.
He didn't seem to understand how to push his body up. He also bum shuffled (never crawled) and walked when he was 2 year old (which is often the way with bum shufflers - why get up when you can get what you want by shuffling).

We were referred to a physio (whose youngest daughter was also a bum shuffler so she understood exactly what was happening) who taught me and DH how to teach him to hold his body weight on his hands - I won't tell you the method here as you really need a diagnosis of what the problem is and the best physio exercises to do. But they are fun and take 10 minutes a day and results are amazing.

One tip she did give us for encouraging DS up from seated, was to strip the seat cushions off the sofa, so the seat was stable and low to the floor - eye level for DS sitting on the floor. Then get DS's favourite toy and put it near the edge. Encourage him to take it. Take the toy and move it a little further back. Encourage him to take it. Then further back etc., Eventually, if he wants the toy, he'll have to get on his knees, or stretch or clamber up a bit. You take the seat cushions off for two reason. One, he can't pull the cushion to get the toy and two he can't pull the cushion down on himself if he does awkwardly reach the toy as it goes further back. It's all to keep him safe and build confidence in reaching forward - getting that bottom off the floor.

We had to work with DS over the years because of the lack of crawling. Crawling helps to strengthen wrists and it builds 'tracks' in the brain that teaches the arms to reach across the body as crawling is a 'ladder' movement (right leg, left arm kind of movements - strengthens the core muscles). All of which are important for writing skills. DS is hypermobile in the hands as he didn't build the strength (or he didn't use his hands because they were hypermobile - who knows). Plus his core muscles were sloppy - he couldn't hop at 5 years old, couldn't get the balance to kick a ball and would fidget endlessly when writing because his arms were taking the static position rather than his core muscles holding his body still. If you asked him to lay on the floor then raise his bottom and hips up he would wobble all over the place. But exercise has helped with that and he's writing very well now. He plays football and can ride his bike.

Most things are fixable, most of us have quirky things we can't do or do in an odd way. But that's what physio is for and I don't hesitate in getting it for DS, DH or myself if I think we need it. First port of call is HV or GP though as they can get a referral if they think it's needed or reassure you if it isn't.

A few hundred years ago babies were swaddled onto boards which had holes in them so they could be hung up in the kitchen while their mothers worked...! So I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much about tummy time. DS hated it too, I eventually got him to crawl by leaving my phone with a baby video playing on the floor just out of reach... one step away from dangling a carrot on a fishing line, frankly. Which was my next plan...

Do share your worries with your hv but cut yourself some slack about tummy time op.

I have a developmental condition myself which my baby could have inherited, so just to say I get being worried.
I m trying a few things to help him roll as no signs yet at almost 5 months but I haven't told my HV about my diagnosis as I don't want her to Google it and decide being dyspraxic makes me a worse parent for it.