Lack of tummy time has impacted my baby

[knitting774]

My DS has always hated tummy time, crying whenever he was put on his front. Because of this I gave up trying and now, at 11 months, he’s behind on his gross motor skills.

I blame myself for not continuing the tummy time and picking him up when he got upset. I should have left him on his tummy to figure it all out and build up muscle strength, rather than giving in.

I’m so worried that he still can’t crawl or get into sitting position from lying down. I decided to really work on the tummy time and made myself do 20 minutes a day with him every day in March, but it hasn’t made a difference.

He will slide backwards on his tummy and slowly rotate around on his stomach, but can’t get on all fours.

I have to entertain him constantly whilst he’s on his tummy - he’s fine (just about) when being entertained but as soon as I stop he starts crying.

Is there anything else I could or should be doing? I’m at a loss and am feeling so anxious about it. I’m also beating myself up that I didn’t try harder from day 1.

There was no such thing as 'tummy time' when my dc were small, nor for millions of other babies. They just rolled over if they felt like it.

It made naff all difference in the grand scheme of things.

My DD couldn’t crawl until 13m and couldn’t get walk until 20m. She is 5 now, playing football, going to ballet, dancing and absolutely fine. Children develop at different pace, don’t worry too much about it.

All babies are different. It's nothing you did or didn't do.

It's great that people are being so supportive of the Op. I would like to say, op, your baby not crawling is nothing to do with tummy time, which as many are saying, wasn't an idea 20 years ago. Actually crawling is not a developmental milestone, as some babies don't do it.

BUT what would concern me us your later oust (which some may have missed) that he is not weight bearing at 11mo That is a concern. Babies are (or were) checked for this (putting their feet down when lifted vertically, rather than necessarily standing) at 6-8 mo, so an 11mo who doesn't should be checked.

I know children who didn't bear weight at this age who were under a paediatrician and developed fine. I know others who needed physio to help. Please go and check this with your HV or GP @knitting774, it may be fine but milestones are there for a reason, tho I do agree there's no point comparing.

I dont think its tummy time. I did loads with my DS and he never met those milestones in a textbook way. He never crawled at all, bum shuffled from about 10 months. Because of this he couldn't figure out what to do with his legs to pull up, so couldnt pull to standing until 13 months at least. He cruised eventually around 14 months then walked at 15 months. Wasnt confident really till 16-17 months.
My DD1 by contrast was crawling at 7 months, cruising at 8 months and confidently walking at 11 months.
I would have his hips checked, otherwise try and help him weight bear a bit and dont worry too much, they're all different. Oh and not having words at his age is very normal. I think we had only got as far as 'uh oh'.

My children loved a pouffe footstool, the kind that sits flat on the floor, for pulling up on (and later pushing around).

I don't think a lack of tummy time is responsible; however, when mine were little, my spouse and I did tummy time on us - so either of us would lay down and they'd lay on us, eventually they'd work out how to move around on us and then off of us onto the floor. They seemed happier with that than the floor until they were able to move around on their own.

He's a baby , just leave him to develop at his own rate and his own speed.. Stop stressing yourself out reading daft books and websites.

@knitting774

Oh, and he babbles a lot but can’t say any actual words yet either. My friend’s baby has been saying mama and dada since 8 months.

My youngest didn't say his first words until 20 months, but he has delayed speech due to a medical condition.

I am sure your wee one will speak much sooner than my youngest did. For reassurance, I would contact your HV or GP to have a chat about your concerns.

There was no tummy time when my son was a baby. They were just left to get on with it. Eventually they crawled and walked.
Mind you we were all told in the 80's to put them to sleep on their fronts to avoid cot death which we all did.

@LondonJax the sofa tip sounds good, thank you - I will give that a go.

If you asked him to lay on the floor then raise his bottom and hips up he would wobble all over the place.

Funnily enough that is one thing DS can do!

BUT what would concern me us your later oust (which some may have missed) that he is not weight bearing at 11mo That is a concern. Babies are (or were) checked for this (putting their feet down when lifted vertically, rather than necessarily standing) at 6-8 mo, so an 11mo who doesn't should be checked.

I have my 12 month check coming up so will ask then. He was given the standard check in hospital for clicky hips and they didn't find anything. His fat rolls seem more or less symmetrical as far as I can see.

I endured the baby group head tilt a lot.

I've had this too and it's made me really anxious. I'm not sure I can face going to baby groups when they re-start as all people talk about now is whether your baby is walking yet.

Tummy time wasn's a thing with my oldest (27) and was with my youngest 2 (18)

oldest walked at 8 months, twins were 19 months and 22 months.

don't beat yourself up, even if there is a delay its not your fault

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

There was no tummy time when my son was a baby. They were just left to get on with it. Eventually they crawled and walked. Mind you we were all told in the 80's to put them to sleep on their fronts to avoid cot death which we all did.

Yes, mine (born at the end of '79), slept on his front too. He used to look cute with his head turned to one side and later on when he would stick bottom in the air, then push himself up with his arms, grinning from ear to ear. We were also given an aerosol spray to spray on our nipples before feeding. Oh the good old days.

@knitting774

I endured the baby group head tilt a lot.

I've had this too and it's made me really anxious. I'm not sure I can face going to baby groups when they re-start as all people talk about now is whether your baby is walking yet.

I don't know what the head tilt is, is it bad. When I am listening to someone I tend to do that sometimes and wonder now if I should stop.

However, I think baby groups must be dire. They weren't around where I lived when mine was a baby (or if they were I never heard of them), but I would have hated to be forced to be sociable with a load of other mothers who talked of nothing but babies. I was happy when I went back to work part time.

I hated the school entrance for the same reason outlined above, when I was picking up I always arrived last so I didn't have to get into conversation.

This isn't to do with tummy time

Sorry if these were covered, I didn't RTFT just ran through OPs posts quickly.

OP, I know you mentioned that you are due to speak to the HV soon and that your baby's 12 months check is coming up soon, but have you already mentioned the missed milestones to a healthcare professional? If not, I honestly would contact the HV right away or speak to the GP rather than waiting for future appointments. I seriously doubt this is due to tummy time, my DS hated it, refused to do it and didn't do anything but screamed when on his tummy and hit all his milestones without any issues.

I think you’re being very harsh on yourself. If your baby doesn’t feel comfortable on his tummy for long periods then of course you haven’t forced them to do so? My daughter didn’t crawl as such and walked from 14 months whereas my son is 8 month old and has been crawling the past month. My point being...all kids are different, go easy on both yourself and your baby

Not all Babies like tummy time
Nor do you need to do it if it doesn't work for you
You could try propping your baby with a mirror.

Mine likes to lie on my tummy and be pulled slowly up so that used arms and shoulder muscles.
Every baby progresses and your baby may skip stages or suggested exercises.
Mine hated tummy time with a passion
I used a jumper and it became a favourite
By 12-13months begun to walk.
Do not compare or worry go by what is supposed to happen.
Today's pressures and expectations are not always needed looked at as "delays" or we move when we are ready usually.
Ps.. my child's head was large/ heavy so I felt it was kind of cruel to make them lift it on tummy time.
Today my child's walking, speaking, bright with a head that sits well on shoulders :)

You can bet your life nobody worried about Tummy Time in the 70’s and all those 40 year olds are doing fine. It’s just more new fangled nonsense for first time parents to fret over.

@knitting774

I endured the baby group head tilt a lot.

I've had this too and it's made me really anxious. I'm not sure I can face going to baby groups when they re-start as all people talk about now is whether your baby is walking yet.

I got this a lot with my eldest. I even had a friend of my MiL try to 'treat' him for not crawling.

With DD it was a lot easier as I knew what DS had been like.

You can bet your life nobody worried about Tummy Time in the 70’s and all those 40 year olds are doing fine. It’s just more new fangled nonsense for first time parents to fret over.

I've read that is because it wasn't needed in the 70s, due to babies routinely sleeping on their fronts.

Please please don't worry OP. If you're baby is indeed a slower learner on gross motor skills (and there is a huge rating of normal anyway!) then it so be because he's been busy with something else.

Babies develop their own way and own pace. Yes sometimes there are developmental delays but rare.

My two hated tummy time. Absolutely hated it and would scream so I gave up. They never rolled by design either although DD did by mistake which so soaked her she was determined t to trust the experience.

They crawled at 11 mths nearly 12 and walked at 15 mths.

They're now normal enough tweens. Though interestingly neither particularly physical children - very "verbal and people" kind of children - which is i guess how they've always been!

• soaked? I meant appalled!

They're all different shapes too. My two were very tall gangly little toddlers. It took them ages to balance and walk and control their long legs and high centre of gravity.

On the plus side they never did any of the antics that very physically adept babies do - never had to worry about mine climbing out of a cot or over a stair gate ! They probably could have - they were tall enough - but they just didn't have the wish.