Lack of tummy time has impacted my baby

[knitting774]

My DS has always hated tummy time, crying whenever he was put on his front. Because of this I gave up trying and now, at 11 months, he’s behind on his gross motor skills.

I blame myself for not continuing the tummy time and picking him up when he got upset. I should have left him on his tummy to figure it all out and build up muscle strength, rather than giving in.

I’m so worried that he still can’t crawl or get into sitting position from lying down. I decided to really work on the tummy time and made myself do 20 minutes a day with him every day in March, but it hasn’t made a difference.

He will slide backwards on his tummy and slowly rotate around on his stomach, but can’t get on all fours.

I have to entertain him constantly whilst he’s on his tummy - he’s fine (just about) when being entertained but as soon as I stop he starts crying.

Is there anything else I could or should be doing? I’m at a loss and am feeling so anxious about it. I’m also beating myself up that I didn’t try harder from day 1.

I don’t have anything he can pull himself up on. I’m not sure what to get!

You don’t need to get anything! You’ve got sofas, I assume? Chairs? Knees? All good!

You mentioned you find him to heavy to pick up. Is he obese? If so you probably need specialist advice. In the meantime make sure you’re giving him plenty of floor time - tummy time is just the twee way to say core strengthening exercise, but there are plenty of ways he can figure them out even on his back. Just letting him try to sit up from a laying position will gradually improve his core.

Also see if you can find one of those electronic balls that move itself. He may start trying to follow it.

ds never did tummy time, hated it, kind of crawled a little bit at 11-ish months but not much, just a couple of feet to reach a toy and also didn't enjoy it/looked uncomfortable. He sofa surfed for about a week or so then just walked at 12-ish months and no problems.

I wouldn't worry about it just yet.

It's not anything you've done or haven't done, honestly, all babies are different and ready for different things at different times. You'll drive yourself mad comparing. My niece is 12 months and sounds about the same stage as your DS.

Babbling is great, that's him learning how to make sounds and it's an important part of language development.

My DS1 was walking and talking early and yet my DS2 had the same parenting and only just started to speak before he turned 3 and then moved onto speaking in short sentences in a month. They're all ready for different things at different times.

@knitting774

Things he can pull himself up on.

I don’t have anything he can pull himself up on. I’m not sure what to get!

The sofa, coffee table doesn't need to be baby specific.

@GrumpyHoonMain

You mentioned you find him to heavy to pick up. Is he obese? If so you probably need specialist advice. In the meantime make sure you’re giving him plenty of floor time - tummy time is just the twee way to say core strengthening exercise, but there are plenty of ways he can figure them out even on his back. Just letting him try to sit up from a laying position will gradually improve his core.

Also see if you can find one of those electronic balls that move itself. He may start trying to follow it.

WTF?! How do you leap to a baby being obese? Babies are heavy if you are carrying them all the time

20 minutes a day isn’t much. I would try and up it, it can just be for a few minutes at a time. You can lay on the floor and lay him tummy down on top of you. Sling times counts too but I’m not sure if that’s something to start at 11 months - depends on how strong you are.

Lots of floor time is important, not necessarily on their tummy but any times they are in a car seat, buggy or bouncy chair it’s less time for them to move.

I agree with others that they do things in their own times and necessarily in the ‘correct’ order.

@knitting774

Things he can pull himself up on.

I don’t have anything he can pull himself up on. I’m not sure what to get!

What furniture do you have? TldTwins use the sofa, their play pen, the toy box, the TV table. DS learnt on a hospital bed with hospital bars. He Def did no tummy time of any worth as he was too poorly.

Speak to HV, they can see him and decide if he needs physio or just time x

@WeAllHaveWings

ds never did tummy time, hated it, kind of crawled a little bit at 11-ish months but not much, just a couple of feet to reach a toy and also didn't enjoy it/looked uncomfortable. He sofa surfed for about a week or so then just walked at 12-ish months and no problems.

I wouldn't worry about it just yet.

Walking early doesn’t mean core strength isn’t going to be a problem. Crawling and shuffling develops balance, muscle strength and edurance and bone density - kids who can do this can often reach a lot of physical and non-physical milestones quicker because they’re a lot more confident on their feet.

I don't believe tummy time would have made much difference. My theory is that babies with inherently good muscle tone tolerate tummy time well because they can control their head weight and push up. Babies with low muscle tone hate it and scream because they are stranded like a jellyfish. Forcing your DS to spend lots of time on his stomach would not have changed his underlying muscle tone, and lack of tummy time does not in itself explain any delays.

Have you spoken with your HV to clarify whether your DS is significantly behind with his milestones? If not, that is the first step. If he's babbling I wouldn't worry about talking at this stage.

Your falling into GO COMPARE.
We all do things at different times, lighter babies seem to walk faster.
My niece didn't talk till 3, we now can't shut her up.
One child walked at 12 months, one took 3 steps at 10 months sat down so heavily they REFUSED to put their feet on the ground. They walked at 15 months across a whole room for a phone.

In my baby group we had one boy who is larger (not particularly chubby but just built bigger) who was behind in most of his motor skills but he got there eventually. His mum blamed his big head on sitting late!

My dd on the other hand walked at 9months but now at 20months only says 3 words. They all develop differently so don't panic or blame yourself. For the record mine hated tummy time too and I probably didn't do enough.

Never did tummy time because they screamed. Did not affect motor skills.

My dd2 wasn't crawling or weight baring at 11 months either, also hated tummy time but I persevered and it made no difference. She's now coming 4 and had hit all her milestones (albeit considerably later than my other 2 kids) and is a perfectly "normal" kid so it's not necessarily an indicator of something being wrong, some babies just progress slower than others.

Try not to worry, and certainly do not be blaming yourself, you've done nothing wrong. Talk to your health visitor about it. They have great advice and tips, can refer you if needed and can offer you reassurance.

You mentioned you find him to heavy to pick up. Is he obese? If so you probably need specialist advice.

No he’s not obese! Just almost 10kg in weight.

I am due to speak to the HV soon so will see what they say.

Recommend following milestones and motherhood on Instagram - she's a paediatric physiotherapist who recommends all sorts of activities to promote gross motor skills.

Her recommendation is that if a child is not meeting a milestone 2 months after children typically meet the milestone - it's worth getting professional advice. Although most children get there eventually in their own time, if there is an underlying issue early intervention is the key, as the longer it's left the more the child could fall behind.

I remember being told that tummy time was vital, oh but also, crying a lot was awful for babies, all that cortisol going into their poor little brains would damage them for life. So I was apparently supposed to choose which harm to subject DD to.

Unsurprisingly I did as little tummy time as I could get away with and chose not to do something which made her scream.

Lots of other ways you can help build up those core muscles. Swimming is a good one. I also used to lie with her on my tummy and we’d do exercises together. Doing “row your boat” where you are sitting opposite each other going back and forth holding hands.

I won’t tell you my experiences of how it went because you’ll just be alarmed, but the bottom line is, if there is a problem, the 12 month check with the HV should pick up on it. Whatever happens it won’t be because you didn’t do tummy time, I can guarantee it.

As for the speech thing, DD was massively ahead in speech, but even she wasn’t saying anything discernible at 8 months. You wouldn’t expect that til about 12-14 months.

Just enjoy being mum. Have fun with him and what will be will be. There are plenty of things in place to pick up if there are any real problems and you can face them if they arise. No point in wasting worry on things that you can’t change.

I never did much tummy time either. Both mine hated it, screamed when they were tiny so I avoided it, and once they were bigger the rolled themselves over.

Can he stand?

I had three babies and never did “tummy time “ with any of them. I’m not aware that it was even a thing back then.

Two of them never crawled at all (bum-shufflers) and only walked when just short of their second birthdays. All have grown up perfectly normal and the youngest is now 18.

You might be over-stressing. If he doesn’t like tummy time then don’t bother with it. Many of us just put our babies down on their backs on the floor or seated with cushions around them. Tummy time is a recent concept and the overwhelming majority of babies did just fine before it was invented.

As for what he can pull himself up on, you don’t need any special equipment. Mine all just dragged themselves to the sofa, chairs, other people and pulled up on those. Any sturdy furniture is fine, and nor do you have to go repositioning everything in the entire house. Just as it is will be great.

I read somewhere that the actual difference between babies who are given a lot of motor exercises and those that are given none is something like 5 weeks. I’m sure lack of tummy time hasn’t hurt him. If he does have motor delays it may be due to something else so perhaps worth speaking to your hv? How is he with fine motor and communication milestones?

Action songs are great.

They develop language skills (as do all songs - rhythm and rhyme are useful).

They also encourage movement - you start doing the actions for the baby by moving hands etc and gradually as they get older perform the actions for them to copy). Any movement to music is also good.

I think that sounds within the range of normal. Take the pressure off and don't compare... they're all different.

These things don't really need to be forced I'm sure he'll get there in his own time... I'm yet to meet an (able bodied) adult that can't pull themselves up, get into sitting position etc!

Never heard of tummy time, my first one walked at 18 months, second at 8 months. (Really) all children go at their own pace. You don't see children starting school still crawling do you?

Not RTFT so apologies if someone has already mentioned this but you could also sit him opposite you and try and get him to move towards you. He’ll gradually reach further and further out.

Christ. OP, he's not "behind". He's a baby, they develop at varying rates because guess what, we're not all the same.

You don't have a sofa?

As for "is he obese?" gotta love MN