Breast is best - no it’s not actually.

[bubblesforlife]

I’m a new mom, my baby was born last weekend.
I followed feeding guidelines, listened to professional advice, and decided to breast feed my baby.

A few days in, my baby has developed jaundice and low sodium. This is due to dehydration and no fluids.

I gave my Baby colostrum, by breast and syringe regularly.

I asked my visiting midwife if I should supplement feeding with formula until my milk came in, she said no I am doing the best by my baby. Not unless there is a clinical need.

Now we’re readmitted for 2 nights minimum and placed on as strict baby formula feeding plan.

2 other ladies in the ward also have dehydrated babies for the same reason as me. How does this happen all the time yet no one talks about it?

Breast is best? No. Starve your baby until your milk comes in, and then hope for the best that you’re on for the lucky ones it works for.

My milk came in on day 3, a normal timeline.!

The messaging is wrong to mothers. This is so very common according to hospital.

Breast is best..... eventually.... but feed your baby what it needs, if that’s a supplement of formula, so what.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I’m just so upset. No one told me I was starving my little newborn. I did my best, I tried so hard and sat there filling syringes of colostrum.

Something has to change here. The pressure placed on new mothers throughout pregnancy to breast feed is wrong.

I hope my baby recovers soon so we can go home and be a family.

@toocold54

I think what does need to be spoken about more is how difficult breast feeding is and not everyone picks it up immediately or is able to breast feed. So then people feel like failures for not doing it right.

Are you kidding? All you ever hear on some fora is how difficult it is and how it's 'not for everyone'. Yet the proportion of people for whom it's not for seems to be so much higher in societies such as ours. All of us who give birth are female mammals who with some exceptions as is the case with other animals, are evolved to feed our young with our own milk. I think people should do what suits them by the way, but I wish more people would be honest and just say, I didn't want to, or I wanted someone else to do a share of the feeding or this was easier for me. Happily, I do know some people in real life who are like this and I respect that. For every person I know who genuinely tried, struggled with breastfeeding and started using formula, I know far more who never or barely attempted it

why oh why are we doing this thread AGAIN.

Feed your baby however you want, whatever is right for you.

PP who said that breastfeeding mothers are the one who get all the help is wrong though. So many people struggle with breastfeeding and fall through the cracks, or get told to subsidise with formula. I think there needs to be more support available to ALL mothers who need it, regardless of how you feed.

Meant to say “give baby a bottle...”

@Skittles98 I'm still feeding an older infant too (16 months) and I play it down to people too, I say I only do a little bit at night because it is viewed as odd. I don't get it at all - it's such a comfort to an infant and so good for them. I will probably stop before my one is 2 because I can't be bothered with the comments I know I will get, such a shame that our society has sexualized the female body to the point breastfeeding past 6 months is 'weird'.

@SweetPetrichor
Agree with you. Thank god for a poster talking sense

@Breastisnotalwaysbest 1 in 10000-15000k newborns are born with it. It's so rare and there is a medical need, whenever there is a medical need, whatever the medical need, give the baby the food that will make them thrive of course, it's a no brainer.

This does not mean anyone should feel like they failed, or anyone failing is failing when they formula feed. OP has done the best she could. The advice given was awful in my opinion. The midwives are the people we put our trust in and clearly their advice was false if a baby has to be hospitalised. I have friends who haven't succeeded, friends who loved their journey, friends who exclusively pumped and some who chose to not breastfeed from the beginning. It's their choice and I have no issues with that, whatever works for you and your family and what works for you.

There is however clear evidence that breastmilk is healthier for a baby and mother physically when everything is going well, so that's all I'm saying, this excludes ANY medical need. Formula feeding makes nobody a bad mother, you're not poisoning your child, you are not failing, you are doing the best you can and that's what's important. It's hard enough as it is without having to worry about feeding. I was actually formula fed from 8 weeks, have a masters degree, good career and would consider myself quite successful in life.

[quote flowers08]@Skittles98 I'm still feeding an older infant too (16 months) and I play it down to people too, I say I only do a little bit at night because it is viewed as odd. I don't get it at all - it's such a comfort to an infant and so good for them. I will probably stop before my one is 2 because I can't be bothered with the comments I know I will get, such a shame that our society has sexualized the female body to the point breastfeeding past 6 months is 'weird'.[/quote]
Don't stop because of that. Only stop when you want to. I bfd ds until he was 3y10m. At home and in public, whenever it was needed. Disappointingly, the main comments I got about 'you should really stop' were from family. I never once had a bad reaction in public.

I get it. I found it extremely hard when I had no milk and my newborn was jaundiced, slightly premature and I was being pressured to breastfeed. He wouldn't drink, would just fall asleep, so the hospital encouraged me to cup feed with formula until breastfeeding was established. I never managed it. To be honest I hated every minute, found it exhausting and he wasn't getting the benefits. The relief when I just switched to formula was unbelievable, and I have absolutely no regrets. My child is actually less Ill and has less health issues than children I know who were fully breast fed. I'm due again soon and will be formula feeding. It's down to personal choice and many different factors come into it. You are doing your best.

I don't think OP's situation is common. Breast IS best. If you don't want to breastfeed or can't, no problem, formula feed. But we need support. We need to be able to feel ok with our choices.
Can't really see why this is an issue. Yet this humongous problem still rattles on indefinitely....

I had the same experience as you. We did both and then he went to exclusive breast feeding at 4 months. 2 years later it was hard to wean him from the breast.
When my twins came we just formula fed. No difference in my three children and our bond.

OP, thank you for your courage in sharing your story. It’s not easy resisting the pressure from the breastfeeding lobby, some of whom seem to claim you are a bad mother unless you do it their way.

My experience is that my baby was born tiny at 5lbs3, and dropped to 4lbs10 with jaundice by day 3. Luckily my milk came in and I managed another couple of weeks of breastfeeding (during which she gained weight) before I quit as I couldn’t manage the constant cluster feeding.

Reading up on the subject, I found this - fedisbest.org/2015/04/letter-to-doctors-and-parents-about-the-dangers-of-insufficient-exclusive-breastfeeding/ which is terrifying. A newborn needs 100-120 calories per day. Colostrum is about 50 calories per 100ml, meaning you’d need to produce at least 200ml to meet your baby’s nutritional needs. I don’t know about everyone else but I was nowhere near that amount - I produced 5 1ml syringes on day 2 with enormous effort!

There is a myth that colostrum is all your baby needs but actually the truth is that for most babies those 2-3 days of relative starvation don’t matter because they put on weight when the milk comes in. That’s fine for healthy full term babies but I am so angry that I did not know these facts for my tiny, delicate daughter as there is NO WAY I would have taken that risk, given her size.

The NHS is so pro breastfeeding that I believe they are putting a minority of babies at serious risk, and it is a scandal. I am now pregnant again, likely to have another tiny baby, and planning to supplement with formula after offering colostrum from the first feed. I explained why to the NHS midwife and her response was to write in my notes: “wishes to breastfeed”. The whole thing makes me furious as a minority of mothers are essentially guilt tripped into playing roulette with the lives of their tiny babies.

So, bravo from me. Hopefully your story and the others on this thread might make one or two pregnant mums think twice if their instincts are telling them their newborn is hungry.

I'm sorry you journey hasn't been what you had hoped or expected.

Those this isn't everyone's experience. I'm sure what you've been through has been scary and disheartening. But I'd hate this post to put someone off trying to breastfeed.

I know plenty of mums who had a very different experience to this. Has your baby been checked for tongue tie? Was latch assessed? Breastfeeding isn't easy, and it can take a while for both mum and baby to get the hang of it.

[quote cheesebubble]@Breastisnotalwaysbest 1 in 10000-15000k newborns are born with it. It's so rare and there is a medical need, whenever there is a medical need, whatever the medical need, give the baby the food that will make them thrive of course, it's a no brainer.

This does not mean anyone should feel like they failed, or anyone failing is failing when they formula feed. OP has done the best she could. The advice given was awful in my opinion. The midwives are the people we put our trust in and clearly their advice was false if a baby has to be hospitalised. I have friends who haven't succeeded, friends who loved their journey, friends who exclusively pumped and some who chose to not breastfeed from the beginning. It's their choice and I have no issues with that, whatever works for you and your family and what works for you.

There is however clear evidence that breastmilk is healthier for a baby and mother physically when everything is going well, so that's all I'm saying, this excludes ANY medical need. Formula feeding makes nobody a bad mother, you're not poisoning your child, you are not failing, you are doing the best you can and that's what's important. It's hard enough as it is without having to worry about feeding. I was actually formula fed from 8 weeks, have a masters degree, good career and would consider myself quite successful in life. [/quote]
Thank you for acknowledging your previous statement was incorrect.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby OP, hope you're both home soon.

There is a huge lack of understanding about how breast feeding works and a huge lack of support. As fewer woman BF, fewer are able to advise. I BF both of mine for about 2 years but it was a struggle at first. I was shown how to feed lying down by a midwife which helped hugely. I didn't feel my milk come in either time. I was told to feed every four hours, only when I sussed it needed to be more often dis things click. Advice to express too soon is horrific and almost always means the end to feeding, including using a syringe. I had mine at different hospitals, one was a city centre hospital that was so busy no one had time to help, luckily I had my second there. Midwives try and encourage feeding but don't have the time or often the expertise to help and when you're tired and hormonal they can't tell if you want to give up or be encouraged more.

I didn't have any family or friends to advise, a lot of older women I knew said they weren't producing enough milk so stopped (no evidence other than small boobs stated). I think women who don't BF are often defensive about their decision and medical excuses are sometimes made which don't exist rather than say they don't want to or it didn't go as planned. Don't even get me started on women who say they don't fancy it so didn't try (believe me, no one "fancies" it, it's a decision that it's better for baby rather than a desire to get your boobs sucked regularly).

Anyway, it's always emotive and a healthy mum and healthy baby is the aim. Make your feeding decision, own it and shed any guilt or anger as that isn't healthy for either of you.

@SweetPetrichor
Agree with you. Thank god for a poster talking sense

@MondeoFan I’m curious - what do you and the poster above actually get out of making new mums feel guilty and shit about themselves? I’d say growing up with a kind, understanding and empathetic mum is a billion times more important than what sort of milk a baby drinks - something you both might want to keep in mind.

With my first, they had tongue tie, we were admitted day 9, I'd tried everything I could think of to keep breastfeeding to that point. In hospital I did feel formula was expected and eventually I gave in (to stop baby crying). DS took this formula fine and I quickly stopped producing much milk but breastfed him twice a day. He got colic.

In the end I weaned back off formula onto exclusively breastmilk. I hadn't heard of anyone doing this and he was a bit hungry at times whilst I built up supply (but I did it over the course of a few weeks) colic settled and breastfed for a year.

I think if anyone had pushed formula in those early days I would never have got to continue to breastfeed - how I intended. No-one was suggesting more breastfeeding once the formula was started, no-one was bothered that he was colicky and in pain.

So for me breast is best but formula got us through a difficult patch and I am grateful for it.

Somehting wrong on that ward. Breast is best, and there are lots of ways to support breastfeeding without just whacking everyone onto formula.
The messaging isn't wrong, the practicalities are.

[quote Countdowntonothing]**@Breastisnotalwaysbest

Here:

*cheesebubble

@Breastisnotalwaysbest love your username, clearly VERY strong views here.

Could you please provide me with a research study and evidence on that, where the lack of nutrition in a fully breastfed baby, and I mean no feeding issues, has caused brain damage.

Certainly. Google PKU.*

Brain damage is not caused by lack of nutrition from breastfeeding like you've implied in your reply here. It is the genetic disorder, not the breastfeeding.

I don't think anyone is stupid enough to believe breastfeeding is best in 100% of babies/children, but for the vast majority of babies/children it is. There are exceptions for everything.[/quote]
As I stated clearly the brain damage is caused by a build up of phenylalanine.

I didn’t say it was due to lack of nutrition in breast milk.

@Breastisnotalwaysbest lol, I didn't but have a good day.

Very interesting @Breastisnotalwaysbest - I’ve not heard of PKU before.

@cheesebubble not a study, but this is one experience of where underfeeding caused brain damage fedisbest.org/2015/04/letter-to-doctors-and-parents-about-the-dangers-of-insufficient-exclusive-breastfeeding/
Obviously anecdotal and will apply only to a tiny minority, but it does happen.

@bubblesforlife

I can feed. My baby latched I supplemented with extra hand expression into syringes. I’ve been pumping this morning as my breasts are oozing milk. I will continue to express.

It wasn’t enough.She was still dehydrated. She is ill, we are in hospital as a result.

“Can’t”.

If your milk came in as normal, your baby latched properly, and you topped up with expressed colostrum and your baby still became dehydrated, then this implies a health issue with your baby, rather than a problem with breastfeeding, I'm sorry to say.

But this is what they advise? fed is best. But most of the time, breastfeeding is better. If there are issues, then obviously formula.

Just like natural birth is best if everything is all fine. If not, clearly csection to keep you alive.

My youngest had transient hypogammaglobulinemia of infancy caused by malnutrition due to their various food intolerances and allergies.

You can read about it here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypogammaglobulinemia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transient_hypogammaglobulinemia_of_infancy

Don’t tell me breast is always best.

Diagnosis was due to refusal of the baby to feed, (which is what the midwives kept saying - you’ve loads of milk, it’s the latch, positioning, something you’re doing that means baby can’t feed) losing weight, failure to thrive they called it, recurrent infections, stool samples were taken to examine their ability to digest protein, they were sweat tested for cystic fibrosis in case it was missed in the heel prick (a % are).

To say breast is best is simplistic at best, and dangerous at worst. The midwives in the local hospital were fixated on the breast feeding message and as result my child suffered harm.

I’d fed my elder child successfully for 2 years. And yet, no midwife was prepared to consider it wasn’t me who was doing something wrong.