Breast is best - no it’s not actually.

[bubblesforlife]

I’m a new mom, my baby was born last weekend.
I followed feeding guidelines, listened to professional advice, and decided to breast feed my baby.

A few days in, my baby has developed jaundice and low sodium. This is due to dehydration and no fluids.

I gave my Baby colostrum, by breast and syringe regularly.

I asked my visiting midwife if I should supplement feeding with formula until my milk came in, she said no I am doing the best by my baby. Not unless there is a clinical need.

Now we’re readmitted for 2 nights minimum and placed on as strict baby formula feeding plan.

2 other ladies in the ward also have dehydrated babies for the same reason as me. How does this happen all the time yet no one talks about it?

Breast is best? No. Starve your baby until your milk comes in, and then hope for the best that you’re on for the lucky ones it works for.

My milk came in on day 3, a normal timeline.!

The messaging is wrong to mothers. This is so very common according to hospital.

Breast is best..... eventually.... but feed your baby what it needs, if that’s a supplement of formula, so what.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I’m just so upset. No one told me I was starving my little newborn. I did my best, I tried so hard and sat there filling syringes of colostrum.

Something has to change here. The pressure placed on new mothers throughout pregnancy to breast feed is wrong.

I hope my baby recovers soon so we can go home and be a family.

I don't think OP suggested that her bad experience cancelled out BF but the slogan, for a want of a better word, 'Breast is Best' is not at all helpful and can even be harmful, as many on here have witnessed. Of course BF should be encouraged but that is quite different to saying that 'breast is best'. It's quite a dated and demeaning slogan, come to think of it.

“As I said, ask yourself, do you know any exclusivey FF babies with food allergies??“ 2021newhope

Yes I do, but that is not evidence to avoid formula.

OP I had 4 kids, all successfully breastfed, and I could never express more than a couple of oz; expressing isn't necessarily an indicator of supply.

To my mind what went wrong with my first child, who didn't get readmitted but weighed the same at 3 weeks as at birth, was that my parents' generation didn't breastfeed much and so the familial lore advice was lacking. I thought babies fed every 4 hours - no, that's bottle fed babies. I thought it should all be over in ten mins - no, cluster feeding and whole evenings on the breast are normal as babies work to increase supply. I thought if baby was hungry I must not be making enough milk - but breasts make milk like a fountain, not a bath: the more babies suckle, the more they will produce. They need to suckle for extended periods to get the rich fatty milk after the liquidy, thirst quenching fore milk.
My advice, IF you want to keep feeding, is to offer a feed every time baby cries. Mine all ended up feeding about every 1.5 hours during the day. Put a safety pin on your bra strap and swap it to remind yourself which boob they had last time. Give it to 6 weeks, and by then it will probably suddenly be easy, painfree, and convenient. But don't worry if it does not work out. Now my kids are grown there is no way to tell who was bottle fed and who was not. Kellymom is an excellent site with loads of useful information. Good luck.

@Frenchdressing

BF worked for me. And for millions of others. Sorry you had a bad experience but it doesn’t cancel out breastfeeding.

So bitchy.

@Coffeeandaride

“As I said, ask yourself, do you know any exclusivey FF babies with food allergies??“ 2021newhope

Yes I do, but that is not evidence to avoid formula.

I wasn't very clear. Basically I was saying the OPPOSITE. Weirdly, all the children I know who have food allergies were exclusively BF in the first 6 months.

On the other hand, I don't know (anecdotal but also backed up by allergist I spoke to) a single child who was exclusively FF who has any food allergies.

@Coffeeandaride

I should have said
Do you know anyone with a serious food allergy who exclusively FF?

I only know one child with allergies, and they were formula fed. It’s anecdotal- it’s meaningless. Whether your child has allergies or not is more likely to be down to genetic and other environmental factors including weaning. Breastfeeding rates in this country have plummeted whereas allergy rates are rising and rising. Countries such as Sweden with very high bf rates have lower allergy rates than the U.K.

@2021newhope my nephew. Food allergies and eff.

@bubblesforlife ” Also stop assuming just because they are exclusively BF, issues won’t arise. They can.” this is so far from the truth it’s a joke.

I know very very few people (if any) who think that breastfeeding is “without issues” - far from it!!!!! Many many issues can arise with breastfeeding, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still the best choice nutritionally for babies.

I exclusively breastfed my son. He got jaundice on day 2 and we were back in hospital for 5 days for blue light therapy. My milk came in on day 3 and I fed him and expressed breastmilk to top him up. He was back up to birth weight within 4 days. I didn’t use formula, simply didn’t need to. Your post is essentially suggesting that the only way to help in this scenario is to top up with formula, but it’s simply not true. Jaundice doesn’t mean you’re “starving” your baby, and it’s ridiculous to even suggest that.

All you’ve succeeded in doing is petrifying mothers into thinking that if they breastfeed they’re at risk of starving their child. Women have been exclusively breastfeeding their babies for hundreds of millions of years, our situation is uncommon but even if it does occur, it doesn’t mean you have to use formula if that’s not what you choose to do. There are other options. Your hysteria isn’t appreciated.

@Gwegowygwiggs exactly and jaundice isn’t always about breastmilk. my baby had jaundice and was readmitted to hospital. He had tongue tie. Formula would have made no difference.

When feeding issues arise we always blame mum. I did for ages till I found out what was going on. We Breastfed through 90% tongue tie for 3 and a half months and are still going despite his tongue tie not being divided properly. Loads of people try to get me to switch to formula but I want to keep going even though it’s been so hard. That’s my choice. No judgement on any other mums who eff, but I want to breastfeed very badly for all sorts of reasons so I’m still going. My choice.

We need to stop judging other mums. Do what is best for you and your baby; breast, formula, mix.

Happy mum, happy baby.

There are two kinds of jaundice - the kind that is dangerous for the baby, and harmless “physiological” jaundice which is a side effect of breastfeeding. Jaundice can be caused by a number of things including dehydration, when the mother and baby have different rhesus statuses, and is more likely if the baby is large and/or the mother had diabetes, and when babies are premature. It’s really common in both formula fed and breastfed babies and if a baby is breastfed and has jaundice then formula is not necessary to treat it.

Breast is best. I get what people say about "fed is best". But fed is the absolute minimum requirement, which is not the same as the best. A baby has to be fed by whichever means is possible. Breast is best. If that's not possible for whatever reason, any other option is good enough. Fed is the most important thing.

I was in a similar situation. I refused to give formula. No milk initially and then baby wouldn't latch. Despite the nurses and breast feeding specialists trying everything. I was in hospital for 4 nights and my son was the only baby crying non stop. Clearly he was starving.

I continued to refuse formula but they had to intervene and override my wishes because of jaundice and something to do with his blood cells. I went home and eventually baby was readmitted as the formula had come a bit too late and he still had issues with jaundice.

I know everyone is different but I still feel guilty about starving him in hospital. NCT were adamant on our course that we shouldn't even give a sip of formula or baby won't then take breast. I had no steriliser, formula anything in the house when I took baby home for that reason.

I returned home having had 4 nights of no sleep because baby hadn't slept, trying to assemble steriliser and tommee tippee which my parents bless them had to buy at short notice.

I then started to hallucinate and was actually wanting to give my baby up as I was seeing things and hearing things.

Once baby was fed, well and stopped crying I could sleep, he could sleep and both his health and my health improved.

Yes. Fed is best and happy mum, happy baby!

I’m so sorry your little baby is unwell.
If you want to breastfeed after you leave hospital ask for some skilled support now. Your milk came in on day 3 which is usually fine. There may be something else interfering with your baby’s ability to transfer milk or there may not be but best to check. Make sure you’re practicing paced feeding (check YouTube) to ensure your baby doesn’t develop bottle preference.

@FolkSongSweet

I only know one child with allergies, and they were formula fed. It’s anecdotal- it’s meaningless. Whether your child has allergies or not is more likely to be down to genetic and other environmental factors including weaning. Breastfeeding rates in this country have plummeted whereas allergy rates are rising and rising. Countries such as Sweden with very high bf rates have lower allergy rates than the U.K.

Of course, genetics etc play a part but likely it is actually down to the weaning timing and what foods are introduced. There is a strong correlation between the introduction of the 6 months (exclusive BF) and incidence of food allergies, it's risen astronomically since 1995 around the time of the 6 months introduction. www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46302780

But it may also be that some antibodies pass through BF. I'm not saying this to put people off BF, far from it, but I don't agree with the slogan 'breast is best' - its divisive and unkind.

The exact same thing happened to me. And to several friends. I was admitted on day 7 with a baby who wouldn't stop screaming and had urates in his nappy.

I was so wedded to breast feeding, and I did end up persisting with it. But to the point where I was broken. I was on a 3 hourly, feed, top-up, express regime (including through the night) for weeks. So imagine, you feed your baby on the breast, trying to eek out every bit of milk - you then top them up with formula, and then express just to you the milk production. All day, every day.

I hear you OP

Every one on this the easy saying "your situation is rare / unusually" are part of the problem.

*thread

Interestingly my toddler with all the allergies under the sun and eczema was purely formula fed. I think it does have something to do with the fact children are weaned at 6 months.

I really wasn’t making a bitchy comment to whoever said I was 🙄 That wasn’t my intention anyway.

I feel a bit irritated though. This comment ‘ Breast is best? No. Starve your baby until your milk comes in, and then hope for the best that you’re on for the lucky ones it works for’

No one is suggesting babies are starved. That’s not how it works.

@2021newhope yes indeed, weaning timing, not what your child was fed before then. Given that the vast majority of children in the U.K. are formula fed the astronomical rise you refer to is unlikely to be anything to do with breastfeeding whatsoever.

[quote FolkSongSweet]@2021newhope yes indeed, weaning timing, not what your child was fed before then. Given that the vast majority of children in the U.K. are formula fed the astronomical rise you refer to is unlikely to be anything to do with breastfeeding whatsoever.[/quote]
And, imo, too much cleanliness/ hygiene.

I wonder if allergies are more common in eldest child?

This is a sensitive topic. Fed is definitely best. However, not every women has this experience. A lot do not need to supplement with formula and have no issues and of course some have issues.

I have had three kids, all breastfed from birth and none given formula. All thrives and gained weight nicely. Barely any weight dropped the first few days. My son in fact only gained and never lost. Two of my babies had mild jaundice to begin w (a lot of babies do). But breastfeeding often solved it and that was that. I fed them all on demand and at night woke them every 3 hours to feed the first few weeks and then every four hours and so on.

But that being if I felt they needed formula I would give it

I felt under so much pressure to breast feed 100% that I just lied at each appointment and said I was. Infact I was mixed feeding. I’m an intelligent women but I just couldn’t face the guilt a HV would make me feel. Looking back I had an EC because of pre - eclampsia. I was on medication As a result and my blood pressure was far too high. Yet I thought I should be able to BF easily. What a fool I was back then.

OP, I wholeheartedly agree with this. The "exclusively breastfed" baby label has become toxic. The realities of breastfeeding and the science behind this whole Breast is Best is quite something when you do some research. One of the most shocking studies I've ever read actually proved that mums that supplement with formula during the first few weeks of baby's life tend to then breastfeed for longer than those who don't.
I highly recommend a book called Guilt free bottle feeding, by Madeleine Morris. Lots of useful information.
I hope you get home soon xxx