Breast is best - no it’s not actually.

[bubblesforlife]

I’m a new mom, my baby was born last weekend.
I followed feeding guidelines, listened to professional advice, and decided to breast feed my baby.

A few days in, my baby has developed jaundice and low sodium. This is due to dehydration and no fluids.

I gave my Baby colostrum, by breast and syringe regularly.

I asked my visiting midwife if I should supplement feeding with formula until my milk came in, she said no I am doing the best by my baby. Not unless there is a clinical need.

Now we’re readmitted for 2 nights minimum and placed on as strict baby formula feeding plan.

2 other ladies in the ward also have dehydrated babies for the same reason as me. How does this happen all the time yet no one talks about it?

Breast is best? No. Starve your baby until your milk comes in, and then hope for the best that you’re on for the lucky ones it works for.

My milk came in on day 3, a normal timeline.!

The messaging is wrong to mothers. This is so very common according to hospital.

Breast is best..... eventually.... but feed your baby what it needs, if that’s a supplement of formula, so what.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I’m just so upset. No one told me I was starving my little newborn. I did my best, I tried so hard and sat there filling syringes of colostrum.

Something has to change here. The pressure placed on new mothers throughout pregnancy to breast feed is wrong.

I hope my baby recovers soon so we can go home and be a family.

I have 5 month old, ebf but since 3 weeks has had reflux symptoms that have steadily gotten worse and haven't responded that we'll to treatment. L Just before Christmas I had reached my limit after reaction to her 4 month injections + reflux led to her screaming at the top of her lungs for the whole day. We saw a gp at lunchtime and then a paediatrician in the evening. We had reflux meds reviewed and cows milk protein and soya allergies were suggested. I begged for a prescription for hypoallergenic formula from both the GP and paediatrician but both refused saying it would be better for both of us for me to continue breastfeeding. I have had severe pnd and almost ended up on mbu in part due the stress of having a baby that screams through every feed. Thankfully we were able to move in with our support bubble for 2 weeks over Christmas. I desperately needed support and permission to stop breastfeeding but got nothing. We are plodding along I am dairy and soya free, I am keeping a food dairy desperately trying to find connections between good and bad days. Due to my pnd and reflux we are getting a lot of support from the GP and HV but they all sing from the same hymn sheet. Keep breastfeeding.

It's expected that babies lose up to 10% of their weight post birth anyway? Being in NICU my twins doctors are happy if they are back to birth weight within 2 weeks

I think the breast is best push can be a very one size fits all message. Yes it can encourage people to "make the effort" and get it established, it can encourage people to have faith in their breastfeeding especially when they aren't from a breastfeeding background. It is true that breastmilk in of itself is better.

However combined with the reluctance to talk about the use of formula antenatally it doesn't help those who don't have a choice but to use formula top ups or exclusive FF. It does more harm than good for these women.

I wish we could talk sensibly about the use of formula in addition to providing information for all the family on what normal breastfeeding behaviour looks like as well as what isn't normal and warrants further investigation.

I combi fed for the first 3 weeks till we both got the hang of breastfeeding. My baby was tiny at 5lb 13 so I was keen to make sure she was gaining weight first. Don't listen to anyone but yourself, you know what's best! X

@bubblesforlife

Breast milk is a fantastic source of nutrition for a baby and mum. This is undisputed. For many, breast feeding works without experiencing a situation like mine. For others it does not work.

I’m pro breastfeeding. I read the books, watched the videos etc etc. Nowhere did they tell me to keep an eye out for signs of dehydration. Or that breast fed babies tend to have jaundice more than formula babies (the stats are out there if you want to look that up).
It’s apparent to me now that my baby is jaundiced and this may be partially because colostrum, while amazing for babies, does not meet a hungry baby’s appetite. It does not hydrate them. To improve jaundice you need to give baby lots of fluids to flush it out of their system. My milk came in on day 3, yet my baby already has lost a pound in weight...
Had the risks/signs that I should have looked out for we’re talked about more, perhaps
I wouldn’t be in this hospital bed.
I believed the messaging when they said I was doing the best for my baby. It is why I wasn’t identifying issues with my baby immediately, because I knew no different.

The issue here is not to breast feed or not to breast feed. It’s what do you need to do to ensure your baby’s health needs are met. I’m an example of where breast milk did not cut the mustard immediately. I’m happy to take medical advice for the health of my baby. I need to give my baby a specified amount of milk to hydrate and nourish. That’s all I care about right now; my babies health.

What does breast is best even mean?
Many posters here have different perspectives on it.

Breast is best to nourish your baby?
Breast is best to hydrate your baby?
Breast is best to benefit mum?
Breast is best to enhance babies immune system?
Breast is best to keep baby healthy?

I could go on.

The goal for any mum is to feed and nourish their baby. If that’s breast milk alone, combined with formula or formula alone that’s fine. As long as baby is getting what it needs.

This needs to be talked about more. It’s too serious, babies lives can be on the line here.
Some amazing stories coming through of brave women sharing their experience. If this post alone educates 1 new mum about the other risks, hooray!

This is nonsense. Of course for the huge Majority of women globally colostrum is enough to nourish a newborn. Babies would be dying and the human race wouldn't exist if breastmilk wasn't suitable for the absolute huge majority of mothers and babies. It didn't work for you. It doesn't for 100% of people hence formula being a great alternative. But to state colostrum isn't enough to satiate or hydrate a newborn is absolute rubbish

I agree fed is best....my first was literally starving as a newborn looking back on photos he looks emaciated but I was so keen to breast feed as 'breast is best'.

He screamed so much and I now know his was because he was hungry! After finally admitting g defeat and bottle feeding he was a much happier contented baby.

I wish I hadn't been so determined to breastfeed. With my second I mix fed from the start, so she still got the 'best' breastmilk but she also did starve.

I wish I hadn't listened to people saying about nipple confusion and formula being second best, I was so devastated when I gave up breastfeeding my first and thought I had failed to give him the best start in life.....but starving is not the best start! I cant look at photos of him when he was a few weeks old as he looks skeletal and I feel so guilty I did that to him.

Of course fed is best. And I don't for a minute believe that all women produce the same amount of milk. So, if you have given birth to a large/hungry baby and you have little supply, there will be a mismatch sometimes. I remember some mums in my NCT group who regularly said they 'leaked' masses, whereas others really struggled and pumped for months and I'm sure it almost made them slightly depressed/exhausted.

People who say that we were made for BF forget that, back in the day, women would regularly be surrounded by a wide support network of women (family and friends) who would let the new mum rest in the first few weeks and help with other chores. Of course wet nurses were very common then and used if needed - this is often forgotten.

Increasingly, research suggests that some solids should be introduced into the diet before 6 months as there is a window between 4-6 months and if you miss that there may be more issues with allergies (i.e. you should introduce allergens before 6 months).

But it's such a polarised discussion that people seem to fall into one of two camps without really knowing why or the research. I've spoken to numerous allergists so I do have some b/g knowledge...

Nowhere did they tell me to keep an eye out for signs of dehydration. Or that breast fed babies tend to have jaundice more than formula babies (the stats are out there if you want to look that up).

I'm very, very surprised by that. Both of these things were highlighted in our NCT classes, and were drummed into me by the midwives before we left, and the HVs when we got home. There were posters everywhere about how many nappies to expect, about skin-tone, about weight gain. "How do i know if my baby is getting enough milk" is basically the number one question BF mums ask - the information was everywhere for me.

If you were genuinely not told about the signs of dehydration or jaundice by your midwives or HVs, then you were failed by your healthcare. But again, that's not a breastfeeding problem.

I totally agree with you OP. So what if 99% of woman can BF. We should just ignore that 1%? Why is it seen as preferable to starve 1 in 100 babies until they are so hungry they need to be admitted to hospital than offer babies who seem hungrier a bit of formula?

I have hypoplastic breasts and had low supply (diagnosed by me, as no one knows or believes it is actually a thing). I was in hospital for 5 days with my first baby and he cried non stop unless on the breast. None of the midwives seemed to care and just said it's normal. As soon as I gave him formula on day 4 he stopped crying.

My experience was so bad I actually lied and said I didn't want to BF the second time just so I didn't have to engage with anyone about BF. I mixed fed my second with no issues.

Fed is best, my milk never came in as I nearly died after having ds, I was treated like shit for asking for a bottle to feed ds, he hadn't fed for 48 hours after being delivered by emcs, I was in high dependency fighting for my life & constantly had pressure put on me to BF, I was drifting in & out of consciousness to be woken by a nurse sticking her hand down my gown to get my breast out to feed ds. It took the drugs being reduced on day 3 for me to find my voice. I should have complained because the moment I demanded a bottle all care was withdrawn from me, I had to discharge myself so I could go home & my family care for me.

I've always just done whatever I thought was right regardless of advice from anyone else.
My baby was always hungry and crying after breastfeeding and was never happy. After 6 weeks I put him on formula and he was content as anything slept all night through from thereafter.
He was a very big baby and I just wasn't producing enough milk.
I was 21 and the health visitor insisted that I should continue - I didn't feel breast was best for my baby.
He is 40 years old now and a super fit marathon runner.
Trust your own instincts as a mother I always say.

I wholeheartedly agree with this @CeeceeBloomingdale

"What I am is against is the fact some people are so against BF mothers who do it successfully. I can only assume they think they judge others for not doing the same or something. I can say hand on heart that I couldn't care less how someone else feeds their baby, as long as it is done safely.

There is a lot of unresolved guilt and actual anger here. I would say that no one makes you feel guilty, not breast feeding mothers, not midwives, not forums. Only you can make yourself feel that way. Please make peace with the decision that was right for your circumstances and dont let it hang over you."

Having said that I don't like the narrative 'breast is best' I also don't like the way these threads often end up denigrating BF. I think it's so important not to judge women whatever decision they make - whether bottle feeding or breastfeeding. I think feeding is one of those decisions which seems so important at the time but actually years later it holds as much weight as whether you choose PG Tips over Yorkshire Tea. It's no one's business but your own.

DD is a paediatric nurse. They get a regular number of babies admitted for re-feeding following BF failure - the motto on their ward is "Fed is Best".

Nobody should feel guilty about how their baby got fed.

oops, posted too soon...

I do believe most that guilt is self-imposed. Just do what works for you. There are lots of things in life that aren't my first choice but they are good enough. Breast/bottle should be the same, just how things worked out. No biggie.

YANBU, fed is best. I tried so hard to breastfeed for the first week, according to the midwives nothing was wrong with my milk or the latch but DD was screaming at my breast for hours and dropping too much weight. I remember at 3am one night desperately trying to feed her and breaking down and just howling “I’m sorry” over and over again. It was awful, I felt like I was failing my baby and nobody would help me. The next day my partner went out and bought a tub of formula. I cried while I gave it to her but after she had it, she was the most contented I’d ever seen her in her tiny life and I knew we’d done the right thing.

@RatherBeRiding

DD is a paediatric nurse. They get a regular number of babies admitted for re-feeding following BF failure - the motto on their ward is "Fed is Best".

Oh god that line again. *regular number of babies admitted.. ‘ blah blah.

Of course they see ‘lots’ of babies that are dehydrated that’s where dehydrated babies go.

How many babies are born in that particular trust, thousands.. a minuscule number end up needing medical assistance for dehydration compared with total babies born.

It’s like asking a roofer what the roofs in the area are like.. they’ll only be called when there’s a problem so they’ll only be able to report problems.

I honestly can’t believe that some are actually saying breast milk isn’t the best nutrition for a baby because of conditions like PKU and others. That’s 1/10000 babies.. so the other 9999 are absolutely fine but because of the 1 the rest can’t say it? Absurd.

There categorically cannot be the level of ‘lack of milk production’ that some profess otherwise we wouldn’t be here as a species. Human breast milk has sustained us long enough and helped us become intelligent enough to think we can now make our own synthetic version that’s better.. yeah ok. It’s only the western world that has this ‘problem’.

I wish people would just be honest and say they quit BFing because it’s hard/tiring/touched out/boring or what ever reason rather than lumping it with ‘I didn’t make enough’.

I was the first woman in my family for three generations ON BOTH SIDES to breastfeed, everyone was telling me to stop. I’d done the best already. The baby can’t be hungry. Don’t feed them again. Give a dummy. He wants entertaining not boob. Just give formula top ups so you can sleep. My baby was born on the 50th centile and is still tracking the 50th centile 8m later I did not need top ups. I could have screamed.. there is systematic misunderstanding of breastfeeding in our population as a whole. If I’d listened my baby would be hungry, thirsty and very upset/ill. Education needs to start earlier, for everyone.

I'm a formula feeding mum (and first time mum) who wanted to breast feed but it just didn't go well. You can only read so much about it but when it comes to actually doing it you need hands-on help and guidance from someone who knows what they're doing. The midwives did try with me and my baby on that first day but he didn't latch well and got very stressed trying to figure it out. Even one midwife seemed at a loss over it. He did get colostrum that first day but by 1am the following day I asked for formula as I couldn't get him to do it by myself and didn't feel I had anyone to ask for help again. It's so stressful to hear your newly born baby screaming because they're hungry and can't latch, especially in those first few days when you're still in hospital. I kept trying to breastfeed once home on day 2 but it was the same, he couldn't latch. I bought a breast pump soon after and expressed but I don't think I did it quick enough as I never thought to have one in beforehand (lack of experience and guidance). I just hoped it would go well but it didn't. At my 6 week check the doctor told me not to worry as 'nowadays formula is pretty much as good as breast milk'. As for bonding I had to rely on cuddles, kisses and skin to skin. My baby and I have a close bond without breastfeeding and so do him and his dad as he was bottle fed by both of us.

@toastandmoretoast that is exactly why more breastfeeding support is needed for new mums. You get told how wonderful breastfeeding is for your whole pregnancy, how important it is and then when it comes to the crunch you get no support to facilitate it.

Breastfeeding is hard, and sometimes it just doesn't work and not every woman is lucky enough to have someone whose been these to provide hands on support and guidance. If I didn't have my mum who had been there before, I wouldn't have breastfed. The midwives just left me to get on with it, as did the health visitor.

I would understand the lack of support if the NHS didn't care about how babies are fed but they really do give the impression that there's no other choice. I know so many women who would have loved to breastfeed but ended up not doing it because of lack of support. It's crap.

@RatherBeRiding

DD is a paediatric nurse. They get a regular number of babies admitted for re-feeding following BF failure - the motto on their ward is "Fed is Best".

Their motto is stupid - what’s the alternative? Fed isn’t “best” ffs - that implies there’s another viable option.

Babies who are dehydrated aren’t dehydrated because of breastfeeding, they’re dehydrated because of problems breastfeeding. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with breastfeeding, or that formula is better. It simply means that some women need more help than others. Just because some women aren’t able to bf doesn’t mean you can or should deny that it is the best option if it is an option that’s available.

My ds was breastfed, lost weight, had jaundice due to having a really big tongue and struggling to latch even at two weeks old. I tried to mix feed but as soon as he had formula poured in he just stopped even trying. Thrived lovely from that point, bounded as we were both so relaxed after such stress. Dd breastfed within a few minutes of birth until she was over 2. Don't assume any future children will be the same.

They're 19 and 15 now, there is absolutely no way of guessing which was ff and which was bf. Fed is best.

Well actually, adequate support for breastfeeding is best.

YANBU OP, fed is best.

@bubblesforlife
“To improve jaundice you need to give baby lots of fluids to flush it out of their system.”

Incorrect.
Jaundice in babies is treated by phototherapy or in less cases an exchange transfer.

Flushing out with fluids is not a specific part of the treatment: not all dehydrated babies necessarily develop jaundice.

@Tier500
Their motto is stupid - what’s the alternative? Fed isn’t “best” ffs - that implies there’s another viable option.

I quite agree. It’s asinine