Anyone want to join me in my "let 'em be children fgs" campaign?

[hunkermunker]

It involves NOT setting arbitrary dates for things such as:

stopping bottles/breastfeeding
being out of nappies
sucking thumbs/fingers
having a comfort blanket

and probably lots more things I can think of.

Because all this sort of judgemental "ooh, I hate seeing a child of x age doing y thing" stuff is bullshit and none of anyone else's business. All children develop and achieve things at different ages and it would be very nice if people realised that once in a while.

No?

Why, lilospell? I've never seen it myself so I don't know how I'd feel - but wondering why you feel so strongly.

I don't know, I guess because mine were on cups by the time I went back to work when they were 7 months, I just find it really bizarre that almost 5 year olds still drink from bottles with teats. But, as you say, and the point the OP is making, each to their own. I'm just being honest and admitting it's something that I find weird, if nothing else because other children tease the bottle users (oh, and have seen dummies too, not at our school but children in school uniform)

Totally agree, Seeker. All you pro-OPs are an inspiration. Actually, it's not the mad witches who criticize that are a problem, I've found, it's the tiny but very insistent voice in my own brain that niggles and criticizes and sees my children as a reflection of my worth that I have to fight..

Not that they're not a reflection, but .. oh, you know what i mean.

Oh yes, obm -that bloody internal critic! I call mine my inner nun! I was convent educated........

My DS started talking at 1.8, was toilet trained at 2.5. He's at primary school and gets excellent reports.
My DD1 started talking at 3, was toilet trained at 3.5 (but still wears a nappy at night and she's 4.10). She has started school, but teacher is critical of her because "focus and concentration are poor and she acts babyish". Plus she's having language therapy (routine because she was born with a cleft palate), and even therapist was critical when I said maybe my DS is advanced, she said "no, your son is normal, but daughter is lagging behind".
I was upset and worried about DD1's future even though she's a sweet, kind little girl and very smart in a different way to her brother, until I read this thread!
On hindsight, I think I should have waited another year to start her at school.
And I'm not going to worry about the nappy business at night, as long as she uses the toilet at school which she does.
There's too much pressure on young people nowadays and it seems to start when they're DD1's age!

qwert 4.10 is still sooo young for school! And surely she's only been there a couple of months?!
at 4.10 she IS still a baby so it''s not surprising she acts babyishly.

'focus!!!!?' ofgs.

at teacher saying something like that of a 4.10!

Me, me, me, I want to join the campaign.

I have a 7yo who tantrums like a 2yo.
I have a 2.9yo who is still in nappies.
I have a 9wk old who is yet to do his first smile.

And I'm just about totally f*cked off with people who tell me my children don't act their age or aren't meeting their milestones. Like you say, they're children fgs, let them be.

I remember how much I secretly longed for a cabbage patch kid when I was 14!I couldn't really even explain it to myself.

Sign me up for this club, too, please. I loved it (NOT) when DS nursery said I shouldn't try to settle him when leaving "You're just interfering with his independence", they said. Errrr.... he's THREE ffs, he can't speak clearly yet, or pull his pants up. He isn't physically capable of 'independence', yet -- how blinking obvious does it have to be before they might agree??

And why is it that driving to school for my own convenience (time saving) would be ok, but letting my 6yo go into the pushchair so we can get there faster (she dawdles for England), is not ok? Hunh? As long as a motor engine is involved, it's okay to ferry her, otherwise I'm letting her be lazy... how does that logic work, then???

qwert
I am astonished at your DD's teacher. She needs to take a chill pill. My DD is 5.7yo and still not in school as we live in Germany and they do not start school till 6yo here. Children do not need to "focus and concentrate" at 4yo here, they are still playing in kindergarten. Not saying that I prefer the German system, but it shows what a big range there is in childrens' development.

Oh what a lovely refreshing viewpoint! - sign me up Hunker
I want my dd to enjoy being a little girl and have one of those all too rare things these day - a 'childhood'
They are kids, not miniature adults and as such they will behave, speak (& hopefully be dressed!) as such.
dd will do stuff when she feels good and ready and not feel pressured into anything.

Here here.

DD didn't walk at all til 27mnths and then took another 3 mnths to do it regularly. She was a champion bumshuffler and saw no need.

But now she's almost as fast as her brother.

Just because they do something late, it doesn't mean they're always going to be behind.

They have all their lives to learn stuff.

We are all very happy in our house this morning, becauase dd1 (8) slept through the night in her own bed !!!, that's twice in the last 4 months.

She's scared of the dark , can't get back to sleep, so I have been sleeping with her in the spare room whenever she needs it.

Tried to stop it, talked it through a million times, then decided to let it ride, be there when she needs me and wait till she grows out of it.

Oh and my dd2 (5) is still not dry at night.[very busy washing machine emoticon]

given that ds1 (2.5yo) is still in nappies and will not sleep without a dummy, and given that i'm of the viewpoint that he's happy enough at home with me for a wee while longer, i'm in

Absolutely.

I honestly had no idea about the snobbery associated with dummies/bottles in prams for toddlers/ thumb sucking etc until I became a parent.

I always thought toddler with dummies were quite cute before I knew it would stifle their development and was a sign that their parent was too lazy to do anything about it which I have since learnt from other judgemental more experienced parents

PeterDuck, My colleague at work had her babies in their own room at 4 months! I kept getting reminded of this when my DS and DD1 were sleeping with us until they were 4.5 and 2.5, and I'm being reminded of it again now DD2 aged 11 months is sharing our bed! What harm is she doing being in your room anyway?
Spookyspice, I know of another bumshuffler who didn't walk till he was 22 months. We went to visit his parents when he was 21 months old and were a bit mortified as DS was 10mo and walking already and were worried it might upset the parents. But he can now run faster than DS!
OBM, I started DD1 at school last September because all her friends from playschool were starting too, if I waited another year she'd be a year older than everybody in her class. It's a vicious circle. The system in Germany seems much better. And you're right, she is still a baby and I'll just try to enjoy her instead of despairing as I had been doing before I read this thread!