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Original poster

Anyone want to join me in my "let 'em be children fgs" campaign?

168 replies

hunkermunker · 27/10/2007 00:56

It involves NOT setting arbitrary dates for things such as:

stopping bottles/breastfeeding
being out of nappies
sucking thumbs/fingers
having a comfort blanket

and probably lots more things I can think of.

Because all this sort of judgemental "ooh, I hate seeing a child of x age doing y thing" stuff is bullshit and none of anyone else's business. All children develop and achieve things at different ages and it would be very nice if people realised that once in a while.

No?

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lucyellensmum · 27/10/2007 09:08

Sign me up - and i hate the whole, oh, doesnt your child do xyz yet?? My DD has slight speech delay, ive actually had someone say to me, "all she says is yeah"!! I told them to feck off.

DD still has a bottle, still not even really started toilet training. She is 2.4. She sucks her thumb, i think its really cute

BandofMutantMonsters · 27/10/2007 09:09

PMSL at interfering old prune. I would have politely asked her to not man handle my child Thank you very much. Why do people think they can parent a strangers children???

ChippyMinCEDtonGUE · 27/10/2007 09:11

I am definately a member of the 'they will do it when they are ready' club

aka

the 'i can't be arsed to carry around six changes of clothing and a travel potty, strip and change beds during the night, dummies have had no effect whatsoever on my DC's speech development or teeth, milk from a lidded beaker prevents stinky upholstery, don't give a stuff about what your child is doing etc etc etc' club.

Interested in this thread?

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Hekate · 27/10/2007 09:16

Oh sign me up. Do we get a badge or a t-shirt?

Blandmum · 27/10/2007 09:19

I'll sign up.

And can I say that I'm in the 'I hate to see a child of X doing Y so early' campparticularly when that early means stopping being a child and suddenly espousing tarty/ tatty adolecentisms at the age of 8 or so!

Both my kids were over 3 when they were finaly out of nappies. dd took 2 weeks and ds a week! My mate , who was detiermined to start when her child was under two, took over a year!

Amethyst8 · 27/10/2007 09:21

Count me in. DS still had a last bottle at night till he was over 2 and then one night just didnt want it. Kids do things when they are ready. Sad at the moment though because DD has stopped breast feeding at 14 months but she was ready so what can you do.

Pulled my DS out of nursery on the strength of this. Whole family have never been so unhappy as when he was there. Long faces everyday when we picked him up because of "misbehaviour" but when reading between the lines was nothing of the sort just him being a happy child and not ready for nursery. Not sure if this is what you mean but I can t stand the rigid approach to early education in this country either seems to be a case of breaking spirits as early as possible all over the place IMO.

Nightynight · 27/10/2007 09:22

MrsLynette - I used to have these arguments with my youngest dd - recently, I bought her a Laufrad - not sure what it is called in English, but it is similar to a Like-A-Bike - small wooden bicycle that the child sits on and pushes with their feet.

It is pure genius. We take it out with us, and it has ended the "Carry me mummy" cries. you can also attach something noisy to it, so that you can keep track of your child more easily.

lomondgore · 27/10/2007 09:25

Sign me up!

DD1 has a comfort blanket and sucks her thumb. She is not even 4 yet.

I am fed up with the constant derogatory remarks about both things. She will give them up when she is ready. Besides you can't make someone stop sucking their thumb.

I waited until I thought she was ready to potty train and she only had about two accidents! There is no point in starting early if they have constant accidents, this just distresses them.

rahrahrahrahrah · 27/10/2007 09:29

Sign me up!

My friend has judged because ds (3) does a wee sitting down and sleeps in a toddler bed (fgs!). It is not a race or a contest! I could never be a competitive mum

BandofMutantMonsters · 27/10/2007 09:30

I had a rabbit that I loved (NO NOT THAT KIND) and I wont say how long it took me to give it up at night times
Even now if I'm upset I will feel like getting it out and laying with it under my cheek

I heard they did a study for potty training with twins. They started one at about 6 weeks and the other at about 2 ish and they both did it within weeks of each other. So they wont do it til they're ready, cos they can't.

PregnantGrrrl · 27/10/2007 09:39

rahrahrah- my DH pees sitting down. He is lazy though

UnionJack · 27/10/2007 09:45

There will always be parents who, living vicariously through their childen ,insist on chilcare being a 'race'and a competition to 'get there first'. They can then boast about their childs achievements.

I'm with you lot. They'll all get there in the end.

hotcrossbunny · 27/10/2007 09:57

This goes with children having toys/clothes way above their developmental age/ability and not allowing them to play with toys perceived to be 'babyish'. Why can't my dd play with lovely, sweet, innocent dolls rather than the pressure of bratz, computer gamesetc?

BandofMutantMonsters · 27/10/2007 10:00

Bratz is banned in our house. DD1 saw it on tv once and loved it, but NO WAY. Our friend whose DD1 is an angel even got attitude after watching it so we nipped it in the bud. I think 4 is too young for that anyway.
DD1 loves to play with the baby toys we got out again when DD2 was born. And she is currently playing mummy to her little baby doll

systemsaddict · 27/10/2007 10:18

This is a reassuring thread for me - have been worrying about ds 14 months still having and enjoying his bottles of milk - I had wanted to keep bf him tbh but he self-weaned from that very decisively at a year - but really really enjoys one-to-one cuddly time with me and his bottle. I am exhausted from early pregnancy symptoms at the mo and just couldn't face insisting on switching to a cup so have been putting it off. I shall now IGNORE the mantra 'have to be drinking from cups by a year' which has been running round my head each time I get his bottle ready and just celebrate the fact that we still get snuggly time, and will assume he will decide for himself when he doesn't want that any more.

SoMuchToBats · 27/10/2007 10:21

I think I'll join - ds still has his "snuzzle socks" (comfort items!) and he is 6, nearly 7. But he loves them. And I still have my teddy bear, and I'm 45....

colditz · 27/10/2007 10:23

BOM is lying, she covers her daughters in lipstick and makes them wear boobtubes and watch It's So Raven.

I saw her.

fizzbuzz · 27/10/2007 10:26

My ds still has his cuddly doggy........

He is 14, and would kill me if he knew I was posting it on here

SoMuchToBats · 27/10/2007 10:27

My ds also loves his Playmobil and hates Power Rangers, which is fortunate as I haven't had to ban them!

TinyGang · 27/10/2007 10:29

I'm in too.

I've found mn a double edged sword really. Never knew about all these do's and don'ts until I read them on here.

I have 2 thumb suckers and a finger sucker. 'IT MUST STOP!' (Deems the dentist) How? Do I patrol their bedrooms at night and yank illegal thumbs just as they're dropping off?

FlameInHell · 27/10/2007 10:30

Ello, I'm in (as long as I can let em be children whilst studiously ignoring mine).

After worrying for ages about DD's night nappies (mainly because her 3 best friends are all out of them), I don't care. I'm NOT refusing her the drink of milk she wants before bed in the hopes that she is dry in the morning.

DS can have his bedtime bottle for a good while yet (we only stopped DD's because she was wanting them daytime too and then refusing food).

Oh, and can I add to the list letting them wear whatever the hell they like and it not mattering how odd they look?? Soooo many friends give me looks when DD bounces out of the house wearing whatever struck her as a good idea that morning - if she wants to wear crocs n socks then I see no real reason to say no (unless it is raining)

lucykate · 27/10/2007 10:32

can i join too? both mine have comforters, dd is nearly 6 and would be distraught if snuggy went missing, ds has a dummy and drags a blanket with him everywhere.

i think the thing i say to dh the most is 'oh fgs, they are 5 and 2, let them be 5 and 2'

kimibobbingforapples · 27/10/2007 10:39

where do I sign.

BabiesEverywhere · 27/10/2007 10:52

I so agree hunkermunker

As parents we all make the best decisions for our children...be that :-
: Breast/Formula/Cows milk
: Puree/BLW
: Lovey/No Lovey/Dummy/Thumb sucking
: Traditional toys/Non traditional toys
: Walking/Sling/Pram
: Nappies/Elimination Communication/Traditional Toilet training
etc

All children need to be happy, healthy, loved, protected and responded to depending on their individual needs and wishes?this means that different parenting skills and styles work for different families/children.

My daughter will be breastfed and carried in a sling/pram as long as she needs and I will not force my daughter to sit in nappies (which she hates) in order to meet other people?s arbitrary concepts of what "being a child" should or should not involved. I will proudly breastfeed, babywear and EC whatever my child?s age ?well I might drop the babywearing when she gets heavier and the breastfeeding when she gets to college ;)

Shannaratiger · 27/10/2007 11:37

i'm joining too.

i still have my panda (in the cupboad dp threw it out of the bed)
i used to get really worried about dd she was still in nappies & only saying a few words when starting playschool. was out of nappies almost straight away when we put her in pants during xmas hols adn is now chatting away, can't keep her quiet!

i also let her chose her own clothes, within reason, sometimes looks a bit strange but who cares.
am definately going to be more relaxed with ds.