If you have finished having DC, did you have the number you imagined you would?

[TurquoiseKiss]

Apologies in advance if this is triggering.

I'm curious to know, if people pictured themselves with a certain number of children and whether that materialised. Just a random question really.

I became a mum this year, DS is 6 months. Days I'm exhausted I wonder how people manage more than one small child! Other times when my energy is higher I picture DH and I with 3 children. I don't know why 3. You would think my next vision would be us with another child but I keep seeing our family 'complete' with 3 kids. Time will tell I guess!

[BriocheBuns]

Originally said 4, struggling with 3rd so happy with 2. Infact feel incredibly blessed.

I love the saying... “when you plan, god laughs”

[sparklewhynot]

Didn't want any, now have two. DD1 was a planned baby, simply as I was married and it felt like the right thing to do and my husband talked about it constantly. He left when she was 12 weeks and has never been part of her life. I absolutely love being her mum. DD2 was, rather embarrassingly, a one night stand. He too didn't want any involvement so again I raised a baby alone. Now in a very secure relationship, have been since DD2 was around 10 months. No desire for anymore kids, very happy and content for what I have even though it wasn't in my life plan.

[Fatas]

Before 35 I pictured myself with no children, then things changed. Once I’d had a child at 39 i felt like I should have two and when my baby was 6 months I became pregnant with another. Sadly at 13.5 weeks, it wasn’t to be. However luckily 2 became a reality for me and instead of 15 months between my two, there’s 26 months. I’ve got my two at 41 now and I’m definitely done.

[3littlewords]

Wanted 2 ended up with 3. Number 3 was a surprise I was sterilised a year later to avoid any more surprises, 3 dc is hard work!

[saywhatwhatnow]

I wanted 3. We struggled for a long time to conceive DC1 and ended up having IVF, DC2 was a big surprise when he turned up 18 months later. DH was done after 1 and is very much done after 2! I think we will discuss it properly in a couple of years as our two are still babies. When DC2 was born I immediately felt like I wasn't finished which is not how I expected to feel, but I would be content with 2. I feel very lucky to have them.

[merryhouse]

Started off wanting 8 ... that was never really serious, but I did consider 6.

I had severely compromised agreeing on 4 by the time we started.

When 2 was a baby H declared that he couldn't face doing it again

Probably a good thing, really.

[Amidone]

briochebuns I like your post!

[timeforawine]

So sorry @ParkheadParadise

[timeforawine]

I always thought i'd have 3, i have 1 and probably staying that way, i was lucky she was an easy baby/toddler (i don't think i'd get lucky again!) and is now a good 4yr old and as she grows life gets easier.

[Amidone]

ParkheadParadise so sorry for your loss.

[Brain1overload]

No. I always always thought Id have 3.

I have always desperately wanted the full and busy house and to watch all the personalities and relationships bloom along the way.

I have been blessed with 2 (a DD and DS 2 and half years apart) with some fertility issues and 2 MC’s along the way. Started trying for number 3 when DS was 2/3….. he is now 6. I finally got pregnant after nearly 4 years of TTC but sadly had an early miscarriage.

Now I don’t know how I feel. The anxiety kicked in when I did fall pregnant and as devastated as I am that it didn’t work out, I also think it has made me realise that it is no longer meant to be. My kids are now 6 and nearly 9 and the upheaval and change to their lives for a third would be monumental. Especially as it is only ever me that really wanted a third.

It is so extremely hard to let go of the idea of 3 though. I will forever feel sad about it, even though I think that now, sticking at 2 is probably the right decision for our family.

Infertility sucks and I am so sorry to all of you that have had losses along the way x

[UnfinishedBunting]

I always thought I'd have two, it just seemed like the right number. I've actually got one, and it turns out that one's the right number after all 🙂.

[Treezan82]

We are done at 2. At various times I imagined 5, 3 and none. Never thought 2 until it happened, now it is the only number that makes sense to us.

[BertieBotts]

As a teenager I wanted five :o

When I had my first DC I knew I wasn't done. But I split up with his dad so didn't have more straight away. I wanted at least 2 more, because I wanted to experience having siblings close together, but I wasn't sure about the actual number.

I have 3 now (12, 3, newborn) and I'm pretty sure I'm done. Not 100%, but I don't see a reason to add another into the mix. I'm very happy with my family. I think DH kind of wants to try for a girl but is also OK if we don't. The only thing I'm a little bit sad about is never having this newborn phase again so I'm trying to drink it all in!

If DH earned more and we had a bigger house then I might be tempted to go for a fourth but for now I want this to be my last small-child phase so I can move on with a bit of a career etc and focus on that part of my life. After these newborn/first year snuggles anyway :)

[Enterthedragons]

Wanted 6 have 5! I would love to go for the last one but DH not having any of it

[Timeturnerplease]

I’m one of four, and in my idealised head I always thought that would be the dream.

However, we as a family earn a fraction of what my father did, live in a small terraced house and both work full time. I also found that I detest the baby stage, so it’s two for us and we’re happy with that. I think it’s just the fun, loud family skiing and summer holidays that I’m nostalgic for - but then again we’d never be able to afford that anyway on a teacher and decorator’s earnings!

[Mirrormirrormirror]

No, and I feel really sad about it even now. I wanted one more.

[DeadButDelicious]

No. It wasn't the plan to have any, then I became very unexpectedly pregnant with my first daughter. Sadly she died late in pregnancy. We went on to have our second daughter the next year and knew we were done not long after her birth. I'd had enough of being pregnant after the trauma of losing our first and the strain of having our second. I'd been pregnant or recovering from being pregnant for nearly 2 years. I was done. So DH had the snip.

It wasn't the plan to have an only and I would have loved to have given DD a living sibling but it was more important that she have a well mum.

[Etsylicious]

I wanted two or three with a dog and couple of cats thrown in :) - a bustling house full of love.

Didn’t get the opportunity to start ttc ‘til I was 36. After three miscarriages I had DS at 39. Have had 3 miscarriages since DS. I’m now nearly 44 and done.

I struggle with anxiety. It wears me out. I realise one is probably the right number for us. I adore DS - he has a will of iron, relentless spirit and energy and keeps me on my toes. He’s also full of adventure, humour and love.

Our life is lovely and I feel excited to be able to give him a great one. He is always so happy.

I’m grateful to be a mum :)

[qualitygirl]

Wanted 2...had 2. And I'm totally done now!!

[jackstini]

I always wanted 2 and that's what we ended up with. I was one of 2

DH originally wanted 3/4 but after first nightmare emcs with dd where he nearly lost both of us he would have been happy with 1. Ds was a blessing after a MMC & a chemical pregnancy and we both agreed we were complete

Count ourselves very lucky