If you have finished having DC, did you have the number you imagined you would?

[TurquoiseKiss]

Apologies in advance if this is triggering.

I'm curious to know, if people pictured themselves with a certain number of children and whether that materialised. Just a random question really.

I became a mum this year, DS is 6 months. Days I'm exhausted I wonder how people manage more than one small child! Other times when my energy is higher I picture DH and I with 3 children. I don't know why 3. You would think my next vision would be us with another child but I keep seeing our family 'complete' with 3 kids. Time will tell I guess!

No, I though I'd just have the 2. I was one of 2, my then DH was one of 2. 2 seemed like the magic number. Then shit happened, I ended up with someone else and had 2 more. I'm still vaguely surprised I have 4 kids.

Always thought I'd have two. Love being a mum and ended up with three.

Always thought I’d have three. Occasionally daydreamed about four. Have three and knew that was my lot from the second I got the positive pregnancy test.

Always thought i'd have around four. Didn't get married until I was 40, husband had two kids already (one moved in full time) and then we had two. Enough.

Yeah I wanted 3 and had 3.

I wanted three and I have three.

I'd have quite liked another but four would've broken me. DH put his foot down anyway so no way was it happening

I didn't always want children, but if I was going to have any I wanted three.

My first baby was easy peasy (still is) so that was fine. We had a second though and he was the hardest baby ever (still is...), he never slept, was miserable, hated everything including me, blah blah blah. But still, I just knew that someone was missing. That's all I can say, I just knew. And I knew we would still have a third, or try at least.

My third child arrived last year and I was right, she was the last piece of the puzzle and now I feel like everyone who should be here is here. I guess I must have pictured it somehow but it was more of a feeling than a visual image of our family.

I have been extremely lucky.

I never thought about it much before I had kids. Perhaps in an ideal world I'd have 3, but once you get past 2 you need a much bigger house and car, and the years of paying for childcare are so crushingly expensive and ate almost my entire salary. Also I wanted childbearing over by the time I was 35 - had 2nd aged 33 and was happy with that.

I imagined I’d have three. I have 2 at the moment (4 and 6 years old) and doubt I’ll have another.

I don’t feel 100% done but also the thought of a new baby just makes me shudder.
If I could skip to having a 2 year old I’d have another in a heartbeat I’m just not sure I could make it through the newborn stage again.

Always wanted at least 3 - struggled to have 1, then multiple losses and total loss of fertility and 5 rounds of IVF, now having twins so got my 3 🤣

I have 2 more embryos frozen and to be honest I'd love to use them in the future - having lost so many babies I'd love to have as many children as I could but don't think DH will agree and I'm definitely older, more knackered and a lot more financially poorer than I was.

I love the idea of big families (although I know the reality is totally different)

Another who wanted 2 and number 2 was twins. So 3.

Have two, wanted either one or two (DH definitely wanted two so that’s what we went for). Absolutely cannot relate to the idea of wanting more than two. I mean, I know a lot of people do want that, but I remember a proper wake up heart racing nightmare when DS2 was a toddler that I was pregnant again and it was too far late to have an abortion.

As a teen/younger woman I thought I wanted as many as possible. Three at least.

We’ve just had DC2 and the thought of having to go through pregnancy again makes me feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. Physically and emotionally another pregnancy would be too much to bear. DH completely agrees and will be having a vasectomy soon. We’re both young (28 and 31) but we’d rather try IVF in ten years time (I’m 100% sure this won’t happen anyway) than take any risks.

I’ve got 2 boys but I do wonder if I should have tried again in case I got a girl (I probably wouldn’t have !)

I had dd1 very young. I never imagined myself having anymore.
I had dd2 @ 38. She was a surprise arrival, a total shock. Dd1 was 23.
Sadly dd1 died 2 months before dd2 was born.
Dd2 will be an only child, just like dd1 was.

Wanted two, have one. Two losses after having DC1, one involving massive haemorrhage and blue lit trip to A&E. Mourned the family we didn't get to be for a good while, but now three seems like the size our family was meant to be

I always imagined none (& was happy with that) ... ended up with a 'surprise' baby at 43 and was happy with that .

Before I had any I wanted 2.
I have 4.

Sorry to hear about your DD1 @ParkheadParadise

@PolarBearStrength - as I younger teen I'm sure all my friends and I had firm ideas of having 5+ kids and all their names and order decided 🤣 But at the same time I was also convinced I'd be a Judge presiding over only the most thrilling cases in the world, so not sure how I figured 5 kids would fit in around that job. NB: I did not become a Judge.

Wanted 4, have 3. Last pregnancy was very difficult and had some serious postpartum issues and have had 3 sections so feel have put my body through enough. Very lucky to have 3 beautiful healthy babies.

Wanted 2 and stuck with 1. It was harder than I imagined and took a toll mentally so just the 1 for me.

I wanted 4, DH wanted 2.

We’ve got 1- mainly due to awful pregnancy and birth. Neither of us feel we can go through it again!

I imagined having a big family, but had such a rotten pregnancy with DS that I stopped there, because a second pregnancy would have severely impacted on my ability to care for DS1 and I felt I had a responsibility.

I did feel regretful at first, but now I am really thankful I stopped at one. My relationship with his dad did not survive (though I am very close to my lovely in-laws still, and have a cordial relationship with him, both of which are great for my DS), so money was an issue. I could not have managed with more that one child, either with being a working single parent or with providing for them.

I have so enjoyed DS as a single mum with a single child, and when I am gone I know he will be well-provided for. I am now not regretful a bit about having more.

(I'd also be regretful, if I'd had more, about the environmental responsibility of this. I do really worry about DS's future, with the world the way it is.)

@ParkheadParadise

I had dd1 very young. I never imagined myself having anymore. I had dd2 @ 38. She was a surprise arrival, a total shock. Dd1 was 23. Sadly dd1 died 2 months before dd2 was born. Dd2 will be an only child, just like dd1 was.

Oh, Parkhead, I am so sorry to hear of your DD1 - that must have been absolutely brutal for you when expecting DD2 (as it would have been at any time).

I've 2. Always wanted 2.

Do not have the energy for a 3rd. No way can I do those nights