Buggy shaming left us isolated

[Halloweenrainbow]

I'm a single parent to 4.5 year old with no car. We live on a new estate slightly outside of town with no direct bus route to shops, leisure centre etc and it's just too far for my daugter to walk there and back. We have a tricycle but she can't go far on it. There's nowhere to put her feet because she's too big for the toddler foot rest and she gets caught-up/hurt with her feet on the peddles with me pushing. She can ride a bike but only for about 100ft. I've given her a push along trolly to distract and motivate her but last time she gave up half way and I ended up carrying her plus trolly, shopping, and bag all the way home - I could hardly use my arms for two days after and swore never to risk that again! I've read previous posts and news articles on the issue that all seem to have a negative view of parents who still use a buggy for older kids. What's the alternative? When I out and about all I can hear in my head is "what a lazy mother", "no wonder kids are fat these days" to the extent that we don't go out much anymore.

We were latish buggy users (until maybe 4) as I had twins so couldn't carry them or pull a scooter if they got tiered the also were prem and late walkers. I used to have a single and they took it in turns. Maybe take it and get her to walk when she can and use it for shopping and then let her jump in when tiered.band ignore the haters! We walked tons did have a car but oh has it for work and actually now there walking stamina is very good, think because we built it up bit by bit .

Does she go to school, how far away is that?

It really really isn’t important what the distance is

I think it is important. If a 4.5 year old genuinely can't walk 500m it is time to check with a physio whether anything is wrong. If the distance is much further (which I imagine is the case here) then it is perfectly normal for the child to be reluctant, and it's just a case of finding a solution until her legs are longer and her stamina has built up.

Ridiculous expectation for a two year old.

It's what my two year old does 5days a week as we walk my daughter to school. My daughter wouldn't have walked half that at his age though. I think a child twice his age should be fine.
It depends how far we are talking which the op has failed to let us know. Big difference between 1mile and 10miles.

Scooter sounds like a very good option and can be used for several years.
Until you’ve got one, what about having the buggy and saying she needs to walk half a mile (or whatever) and can then get in. You can gradually build up her walking stamina but have the buggy to bridge the gap.
Lots of younger children are whiny about walking. On one level, you have to push through and make them increase their stamina, but you also have to be realistic about what you can manage and not give yourself an u achievable target or some5ung that will make life miserable.

Accepting it’s too far to walk but maki go her walk some of it, then scooting or buggying part of it seems a good compromise....you’ll feel you’re moving forward with the walking issue and not totally giving in, but also being realistic and making more manageable. There’re no martyr points available, so know the limitations and accept them.

So nobody has actually “buggy shamed” you and “left you isolated” have they? You are being dramatic
Lots of people have offered solutions, see if any of those are viable and also try to work on it caring so much about what other people think - or don’t think because so far the only shaming is in your head.

Walking really isn't a ridiculous 'expectation' of a 2 year old, unless they can't actually walk. It's just normal life for many people.

We use the scooter as a mode of transport for longer walks.

DD will happily do a 3 mile walk in the countryside with hills and woods as a distraction but I think we would struggle walking this sort of distance on pavements, especially a walk sandwich with a long dull walk as the bread and a supermarket shop filling!

DD can scoot as fast as my walking pace and then when she gets tired she puts both feet on the scooter, holds the centre of the handle bars with one hand and then I hold her other hand and tow her but with a bit of momentum it feels no more strain for me than walking holding hands.

I think for this to work it has to be the type of scooter where you steer by leaning rather than by turning the handles.

My 2 and 4.5 year olds take turns in the buggy regardless of the distance. No physical issues, they just sometimes feel like being in the buggy, sometimes don't. I like having the buggy with me as it can be good to strap the younger one in if it's busy, and it's somewhere to put the shopping.

If anyone is judging me (for what? For having lazy kids...? ) they can crack on. I've certainly never noticed them and if someone said something I think I'd burst out laughing.

Another option would be a bike for you with a trailer for your DC but you'd only get a year or two out of a trailer at this stage.

Push along camping trolley will be your friend here. You can fit a fuck ton of shopping in it, there's a canopy for if it rains, plenty of room for a child with tired legs.

You'll get no judgement from me. When DS was starting pre school he would walk there but I'd bring him home in the buggy.

@JohnLapsleyParlabane

Buggy with buggy board but out the shopping in the seat? Some people will judge *anything*. Let them crack on.

I was going to say this too.

There is a family at DCs school who use buggies for their DCs, the viper parents were on form when they started at the school. I don’t know the family but I do know where they live and that they don’t have a car, it’s a bloody long walk for little kids to get to and from school each day, and there is no bus.

Outsunny Outdoor Pull Along Cart Folding Cargo Wagon Trailer Trolley for Beach Garden Use with Telescopic Handle, Anti-Slip Wheel - Green https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B084VK64TH/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_mB7RFbYJ5ADDW

Something like this would give you somewhere to put the shopping and she could jump in if she gets tired. I would be encouraging her to walk, offering little rewards like you can choose a treat from the bakery or we can bake/draw/play play doh whatever when she gets home. I would ditch the buggy at 4.5 and work on her building up her stamina.

My 4 year old hates his scooter and bike so neither would work, also neither are suitable for a high street, supermarket or shopping centre. A buggy is eminently suitable.

yyeah, yeah, I know older child in a buggy. turns out mine was hypermobile and it hurt her to walk.

go out with the buggy, sod what other people think. do what is best for you and your kid. I bet the ones commenting would complai at walking as far as you do with shopping.

My child wason a buggy untol at leadt 4 some of the time. Thete was absolutley no way a child that age could have covered the distances I walked in a day. It didnt mean he couldnt walk or didnt. It was what was situationally appropriate.
If its what you need to do and it makes upur life livable then do it. You have only yourself and your child yo worry about. Stuff other people. As long as you are encouraging your daughter to run about outside a lot so she builds stamina it will be fine

we have been working on building up stamina for a decade and we are still at 1/2 a mile before needing to rest.

Micro trike scooter:

www.micro-scooters.co.uk/micro-trike-xl-red.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgtTv6PCB7QIV8eDmCh1TVwELEAQYAyABEgKDM_D_BwE

@Hoppinggreen

So nobody has actually “buggy shamed” you and “left you isolated” have they? You are being dramatic Lots of people have offered solutions, see if any of those are viable and also try to work on it caring so much about what other people think - or don’t think because so far the only shaming is in your head.

The OP already responded about 5 pages ago saying the buggy with buggy board was a good idea.

She also posted to say the route wasn't very safe for small children and bikes so I'm not sure why posters keep going on about bikes. Reading comprehension seems to be lost on some people.

There’s a big difference between walking with a child A to B than walking somewhere, going round the shops and then walking back with tired child plus shopping bags.

I have 4 sporty girls some of them would happily walk miles from age 2 others were very reluctant way past 5!!!

Do what works for you, sounds like her scooting isn't that safe where you live if you get a mini micro scooter they are light and can balance on the handle bars of a buggy which can be a good compromise whilst you both get used to it.

Over winter dig out wellies and puddle suit and let her walk and splash in puddles. Building up her stamina is going to take time and in the interim take the pushchair with you.

If you’re sure there’s no underlying medical conditions then I’d say that at 4.5 you do need to ditch the buggy, to be honest. I didn’t drive when my DC were that age and scooters are the thing. Plus building up stamina walking. You have to persevere but it’s worth it. Get shopping delivered instead of struggling with it if it’s a long distance.

3 here and just bought another buggy. Toddler inherited my EDS and his knees and ankles are shit. No help due to covid. His swimming for physio can't happen. I need to walk to keep strong but town centre is busy and I'm vulnerable so I bought an off roader so we can escape to more rural spaces. Fuck everyone else if it works for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Parents who ditch the buggy early drive everywhere or have all the time in the world. I have an incredibly fit and energetic almost 3 year old. His nursery has moved entirely outdoors so he spends 6+ hours running around outside. Yet still I take him in the buggy to nursery. It's 4 miles away, involves a not very reliable bus with a 15 minute walk each side and I have to be back by 9am to start work. And we often have shopping to do on the way home, when we're both exhausted. He's also quite wilful sometimes and, quite frankly, it's useful to have the threat of the buggy if he's being dangerous by the road to keep him in line and holding hands nicely.

I couldn't give a toss what anyone else thinks, especially if the furthest they have to walk their child on busy weekday mornings is from the car to the building.

You can also push these. You don’t need a bike. No good for the bus though.