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Parenting

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Original poster

partner gave our 10 month old gone off food

148 replies

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:04

hi,

hoping someone can reassure me and dampen my irritation too. our 10 month old often has one of those ella kitchen smoothies as a pudding after her dinner. DH does very little of the childcare anyway, today I asked him if he could finish our babies dinner whilst I jumped in the shower quick before he goes to the gym. he is always on his phone - today was no different. I showed him the pouch for our baby, specifically said the orange one. he had his head in his phone as per and glanced up and nodded.

I get out the shower and he has given her an old PURPLE one that has been in there weeks and weeks that is open. first of all, I am worried now as these things have a message that say they can be kept in the fridge up to 48 hours only. is she likely to get sick? secondly, this just highlights his lack of parenting and how much time he spends on his phone

it was in date but I couldnt even tell you how long it has been at the back of the fridge, long forgotten. so furious

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Jamhandprints · 22/09/2020 19:13

How annoying. Most likely if it was really off baby wouldnt have eaten it or will be sick quite quickly. Their tummies are good at eliminating anything dangerous. Can you cut the pouch open to see what state the contents is in?

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 22/09/2020 19:15

If it was in there weeks and weeks why hadn't anyone thrown it out?!?!

TheGirlWithAPrince · 22/09/2020 19:17

Also wondering why it wasn't thrown out if it had been in there open for weeks.

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Rumtopf · 22/09/2020 19:19

Why was it still in the fridge?

Yes, I understand your annoyance that he didn't listen and wasn't paying attention, which is crap tbh. Why isn't he engaging with his child?

But why leave something in the fridge that you're well aware is past it's best?

FourPlasticRings · 22/09/2020 19:21

Hmm. Well, it's a bit late now. If she gets sick, she gets sick. Hopefully she'll be fine- I know a one year old who ate a slug while his caregiver was distracted! Kids eat much worse than expired smoothies. But yes, in future, if it's gone off, bin it.

Plussizejumpsuit · 22/09/2020 19:24

What does no one else leave stuff at the back of their fridge they should have chucked out?

Original poster

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:33

blimey, it was half a pouch of baby food, it doesnt have an obvious smell like open fresh food. that isnt the point at all, like pluzzie said it's quite easily done.

the point is the phone use and the lack of paying attention when in charge of our baby. in case noone had picked up on it, this isnt an isolated incident - she had a wire in her mouth the other day and fell, hitting her head not that long ago all because he had his head in his phone.

imagine if it had been medicine he had managed to accidentally give her because he wasnt listening, all for the sake of having his nose in Facebook

OP posts:

Original poster

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:35

the wire incident and fall was two separate incidents

OP posts:

Original poster

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:37

thing is aswell, those saying about gone off bin it etc., I would of put it in the fridge planning to give her the second half later on in the day/following morning - I didnt put something gone off back in the fridge knowing full well about it. confused how people have zoned in on that so much :S

OP posts:

Missh07 · 22/09/2020 19:38

Yeah sorry I'd have to say YABU. He may well be a shit parent but presumably you're the one that left the PURPLE one in there for weeks on end?

FourPlasticRings · 22/09/2020 19:39

@Plussizejumpsuit

What does no one else leave stuff at the back of their fridge they should have chucked out?

Not baby food, no. Because I can't expect someone else to know/remember that it's gone off. As OP said, it's not going to be obvious by looking at the pouch.

I'm not sure what you want here, OP? Would you like us to all pile on and deride your husband for getting distracted in charge of your baby? Accidents happen, people get distracted. Maybe have a heart to heart and suggest that he learns from this experience?

Original poster

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:40

eh? so I show him the one he needs to use, I specifically say the orange one, he glances at it and acknowledges what I have shown him then proceeds to feed her the wrong one which is a completely different colour and it's my fault? wow, no wonder guys get a pass for negligent parenting so much

OP posts:

Original poster

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:41

I wanted a bit of reassurance mostly that it was going to be okay. I certainly didnt wsnt to be told that I should essentially be parenting my partner as well as my baby. how fucking hard is it to pay attention when you're in charge of your child

OP posts:

Crockof · 22/09/2020 19:42

So in showing him the orange, you look at the purple but leave it there?

momoftwo76 · 22/09/2020 19:43

I feel for your partner, what a nag, he made a mistake but why was it in the fridge if out of date.

FourPlasticRings · 22/09/2020 19:44

If we're being honest here, OP, he's not the only one who dropped the ball, is he? You've pointed out the correct one, presumably because you know there's a gone off one in there? How hard would it have been to bin the rancid one at the same time, realistically? Yes, he should have remembered what you told him, and you should've remembered to throw out the gone off food. You've both made mistakes here. Cut each other some slack and learn from it in future.

Plussizejumpsuit · 22/09/2020 19:44

OP I feel that the issue here is he doesn't parent properly. Maybe you'd remember to chuck stuff out of the fridge if you weren't doing most of this on your own?! If you asked him to look at you or confirm what you told him I can imagine he would have accused you of nagging?

Original poster

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:45

I didnt see the purple one. i have no idea how he has even managed to find it, the orange one (that I showed him and even said the ORANGE one) was in the draws at the front. the purple one was right at the back. like I said, I'm concerned as this isnt a particularly isolated incident where he has been on his phone instead of keeping an eye on our baby. imagine if it had been medicine? I'm just fed up of the phone ruling his life tbh and our baby ending up in less than ideal circumstances because of it

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m0use · 22/09/2020 19:45

Have you tried - and this seems like a revolutionary concept for some mumsnetters- talking to him, and asking him why?

Plus why do you have out of date food in the fridge. Maybe he knew you said orange, but saw the purple and though 'that sounds like a nicer flavour' or 'I know baby loves this flavour'.

Plussizejumpsuit · 22/09/2020 19:46

The comments on here are really harsh. Feels like this is probably one in a line of shitty parenting from him.

Original poster

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:46

@Plussizejumpsuit thank you for being on this thread, one of the only ones who seems to understand where my frustration is coming from. this is just the cherry on top. yep! and I got called a cunt aswell when I said he had fed our daughter this gone off food so its hard to broach the subject without him becoming incredibly defensive

OP posts:

MsWonderful · 22/09/2020 19:46

Why did he root about in the fridge to find the gone off one? Probably so you won’t ask him again...

Original poster

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:48

@FourPlasticRings not at all - I dont even know how he managed to find the purple one tbh. I showed him which one because that is the level I have to go to, in the hope of avoiding anything like this. clearly, even that is not enough at this point

OP posts:

Cherrybalm · 22/09/2020 19:50

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LovingLola · 22/09/2020 19:50

and I got called a cunt aswell when I said he had fed our daughter this gone off food so its hard to broach the subject without him becoming incredibly defensive

I think you need to take a good clear eyed look at your relationship.

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