partner gave our 10 month old gone off food

[Cherrybalm]

hi,

hoping someone can reassure me and dampen my irritation too. our 10 month old often has one of those ella kitchen smoothies as a pudding after her dinner. DH does very little of the childcare anyway, today I asked him if he could finish our babies dinner whilst I jumped in the shower quick before he goes to the gym. he is always on his phone - today was no different. I showed him the pouch for our baby, specifically said the orange one. he had his head in his phone as per and glanced up and nodded.

I get out the shower and he has given her an old PURPLE one that has been in there weeks and weeks that is open. first of all, I am worried now as these things have a message that say they can be kept in the fridge up to 48 hours only. is she likely to get sick? secondly, this just highlights his lack of parenting and how much time he spends on his phone

it was in date but I couldnt even tell you how long it has been at the back of the fridge, long forgotten. so furious

I am sure that will be fine. Incidentally I have stuff in my fridge that's years out of date. He wasn't listening and you just wanted a few moments to yourself to shower. That's really annoying. Not sure why others don't see that. But like I say I am sure this will be fine. No harm done. The outcome should be that he apologises and steps up for some more present parenting.

Well kick him out of the house and leave him! You obviously don't care about him or you wouldn't have to put it on here! Give you a few months and then we will see you post that you suspect he's having an affair!

Leave off, everyone. Piling into the OP and calling her a nag? Disgraceful. How about some support? She already said several times that her partner is unreliable, yet you choose to castigate her for not cleaning out the fridge!

Common sense should have prevailed here - the DP should have noticed the pouch was already open. And then checked.

@momoftwo76 what is your problem?

I posted on parenting, not even AIBU, to get some reassurance to calm down and that baby would be okay because I was panicking. i am also beyond irritated at what feels like constant negligence and stupidity from DH. the response from a lot of you has been beyond unnecessary

Wow OP I’m sorry you’re getting such a hard time.
I think people are fractious because of today’s announcement.

Is the purple one mainly fruit and veg? Or does it have meat in it?

I’m sure your DD will be fine as the back of the fridge is the coldest place in the fridge.

It’s shit your OH can’t be trusted and is always on his phone. Not sure what to suggest really, my OH is quite similar when we go on a family day out I make him leave his mobile at home.

I can't believe the replies on here! Many many busy parents have random stuff at the back of their fridge. Your partner was being utterly useless and you are right to be cross. Your baby will either be absolutely fine or will do a vom and then be absolutely fine. Hope he gets his head out of his phone soon x

He sounds like a dick but it does also sound like you're micromanaging. I can't imagine how hard it is co-parenting with a slack parent but I think you either have to let him do it on his own - so no telling him she needs her dinner or what she has to eat or whatever - or do it yourself.

If you're swooping in telling him he's doing it wrong, then he's going to carry on being incompetent. Because then you'll just do it because it's easier and you can't trust him. And that's how women get left with all the shit.

Give him the baby to look after, leave the house.

I didnt see the purple one. i have no idea how he has even managed to find it

the purple one was right at the back

So which is it, was it right at the back and you chose to leave it there rather than throwing it out, or did you not see it, in which case you wouldn’t know where he got it from?

totally get what you're saying but it's a scary thought when this sort of thing happens consistently but it's also true there probably isnt another way around it. wish he would just put the bloody phone down when hes looking after her, it's a constant bone of contention tbh

@rottiemum88 because I asked him!? fucking hell!

I'm absolutely the kind of person who would have opened pouches in the fridge for weeks at that age. I was sleep deprived, slightly depressed but coping, but only just.

The baby will be fine. 10 month olds are designed to withstand all sorts of really atrocious minging stuff. Like earing out of dog bowls, kissing cat bums, eating slugs, fishing out lost toys from under the fridge and licking them...

I'm going to stand up for him as well a bit. This is the kind of thing I would have lost my shit over too because it just highlights how hard you are trying to keep stuff together and the minute you drop a ball (old pouch in a fridge) and it feels like they winkle it out just to make you feel bad. But all he actually did was not listen properly and get a pouch (the wrong one) out of the fridge.

The problem here isn't so much that he did the wrong thing (he did, but let's face it it was a mistake as no one who isn't a psychopath deliberately gives on the turn food to a small child) but that you are so knackered that it was able to happen in the first place and that you have become white noise to him which is why it happened.

Dont shout at him for this. He wont listen, he probably thinks it's your fault form leaving the pouch there. Tell him you are exhausted. Tell him you need him to step up and not leave all the 'managing' to you.

It's not about the pouch.

Sounds like you know hes a shit parent, this isnt an isolated incident and you don't really like him as a person.

Time to separate tbh

I can empathise op, I have a similar dh. I have to give make a point of asking him to put his phone down and then leave really clear instructions about what has to be done.
If I didn't he would just say sorry, or I didn't know.

This week I had nearly had a heart attack when he shouted down the stairs asking if our 2 year old could walk down the stairs, I said yes (obviously) but go with her.
So I glance at the stairs and she's half way down in front of him. I thought it was obvious if you're escorting a toddler down stairs then you would be at the front or at least side by side otherwise it's pointless if she falls.

It is infuriating sometimes

@Herdwick thank you - this is exactly it. just feels like another thing in a long list of stupid things that have happened recently. he doesnt do his share at all and on the rare occasions he does help he would rather be on his phone.

OP fuck knows what is going on with these comments. Yes you are right, he should pay a bit more attention, I don't think its that hard to feed your child the pouch that is bright orange when requested to do so. I'm not sure why you are expected to parent your partner.

Theres clearly bigger issues here, I would start a new thread in relationships outlining the issues in your relationship rather than a one off incident. Theres no point using this thread now as everyone will hone into the fact that it was in the fridge to begin with (most people have shit at the back of their fridge they have forgotten about!). Seriously OP hide this thread, name change and start a new thread in relationships.

He sounds like a dick. I get it, it's infuriating when you feel like you're not being listened to. Not because he had something more pressing to do, but because he was faffing around on FB.

Honestly OP I'm not sure what you can say or do to improve it. He sounds distracted and disinterested and yes, a shit parent based on all the other things you've said.

Well it's gone down now

I think that if she is going to be ill you will know very soon OP. I once fed toddler DD very out-of-date ham and it came back up shortly afterwards (with no harm done).

The situation with your partner sounds difficult and I too would not be happy with someone so obsessed with their 'phone that they couldn't take a moment to listen to something being said about the food for their daughter. And as for the leftover pouch in the fridge, well, you may not have thrown it out but I don't agree with the assumption that that was necessarily excusively your job anyway .

I hope the rest of your evening is less fraught and you at least got to enjoy your shower.

He called you a cunt and can’t feed his baby. Usually you would check when an open pouch was opened if you hadn’t done it. He is always on his phone. What’s the point of him. He sounds a tosser. It would be easier alone and no insults too

If he called you a name that's fairly indefensible. I don't think the parenting is even the issue here- it's starting to look like pretty serious relationship problems.

Baby will probs be fine though ... the things mine have eaten. No one batting an eyelid at old food in a fridge here!

bubba seems okay atm. I agree with those saying this is more of a parenting/relationship issue. this would seem small if it was an isolated incident but I'm so sick of having to spell everything out to be ignored and our baby be put in harm's way so he can go on his phone

Dont shout at him for this. He wont listen, he probably thinks it's your fault form leaving the pouch there. Tell him you are exhausted. Tell him you need him to step up and not leave all the 'managing' to you.

Do men really need to be told that?
That a mum with. 9 months is knackered?
That the partner they are living with is exhausted (surely that will be visible no?)
That they need ‘to step up’ aka behave like a PARENT and take THEIR responsibility.

Do men REALLY need to be told all that because it’s so surpassing that they can’t get that all on their own???

Sat here thinking what the actual fuck at some of these responses?!?!? Presumably it's his fridge too, does he live there OP? If he does (and he clearly does!!!) then it's as much his responsibility to clear the fridge out as it is yours! He sounds like a bellend.