7 year old just punched me in the face

[SomeonesRealName]

Forgot to hide his PS4 controllers this morning (he has to do learning first) and so took them off him when he got up. He went berserk yelling at me and hitting at me, saying he would smash our TV. I gave him a warning and tried to distract him but then he continued so I tried to put him in time out and that's when he punched me in the face with a closed fist. It really hurt. His timer finished but he was still giving me attitude and tbh I felt nowhere near ready to hug and make up. He's still on the step. Any advice?

I'd sell the PS4. Like fuck would I stand for that. He'd have his bum smacked, sent to his room, no TV or devices for a week and that PS4 would be history. Taken down to the nearest CEX or sold on Ebay. And the week without devices would restart every time he gave me attitude.

I'd get that PlayStation and fuck it right out the window. Seriously get rid of it. If you let him near it he's just gonna think punching you is okay.

Just thinking that the start of your day involves hiding something OP, seems wrong somehow?

Electronic devices have to go for at least a full day. TV, ipad, the lot. He's 7. He will cope. Has he a football, colours, a book?? Our 7yo frequently had their electronic privileges on hold through lockdown. They manage fine without and we both work from home. I now find the threat of removing them works well.

Bottom line, the child shouldn't hurt anyone. PP have mentioned speaking to a GP if this is a frequent occurrence. How will you cope as he gets bigger and if he thinks this is acceptable. I appreciate lockdown is tough on 7 year old but punching someone in the face needs serious consequences.
I hope you're OK. This is not easy.

I'm no smug, perfect parent but at seven my ds did not have a games console. Maybe I was a mean mum?! I do know it's hard in lockdown. But at age seven, I basically would take my ds to the park every day when he wasn't in school...he had lots of energy to burn off. It was exhausting and tedious for me but imo better than playing video games.

I feel for you, OP. Kids are getting so attached to their electronics, especially seeing as they have been their only friends during lockdown.
My son (8) is being an absolute mare over his phone/switch. I've taken to hiding them from him until he has done what he needs to do, too.

I had a few incidents of violence with my boy last year, maybe it's something about hitting 7 and over stepping the boundaries. He hit me and was given a full day of punishment. One crime, one punishment is the rule. So having no phone for a set time (in his case just a full day, it wasn't a straight punch in the face) and a very serious talking to.

I think, at 7, they have enough about them to understand and feel ashamed of their behaviour and honestly talking to them about how what they did made you feel is probably the best course of action. Of course back it up with some punishment too. Put him in his room with nothing but textbooks all day or something.

We are also a house of gamers and any sign of that sort of behaviour results in a weeks ban probably grounded to their room for the duration as such my 17 yo ds plays his fighter games and ofc gets a bit frustrated but has never taken it out on anything or anyone.

We do have another DS who has additional needs and he does kick off when he doesn't win/dies etc so we avoid the more addictive games fortnite etc and are working on resolve with him I have another younger DS who is still getting frustrated with the games and he had a ban last week and is behaving much better this week.
Funnily enough DD never has an issue if she gets fed up she just turns it off and doesn't go near it for a bit.

An 8 year old with a phone?
Just why? Ridiculous.

Yes, I agree, take it away. I would make it indefinite - not necessarily permanent but a lot needs to be looked at before he gets it back, e.g. what he's playing, how long for, rules around when, and no needing to hide it to stop him using it. Sounds like there are some addictive behaviours here, and, if you don't mind my saying so, OP, some slightly wet parenting. A separate discussion of physical violence also needed, and a separate punishment imo - the addictive nature of these consoles means that punishments involving removing them are less good as learning/teaching opportunities ime, as getting them back becomes the prime focus rather than reflecting on the behaviour. Make it clear that removing it is not the punishment but a habit adjustment. At 7 he is old enough for a discussion of brain development etc. And go out and get some fresh air if possible instead of banishing him to his room.

At 7 he would be better off without the PS4 altogether.

Mine have had consoles much later and even then, it would get lost for months at a time if I thought they were getting addicted to it.

In fact, once we forgot all about it and it stayed up in the loft for a whole year. He'll get used to playing with toys, making stuff and reading if you give him a chance.

I would be taking that PlayStation and locking it away for the foreseeable. He needs to learn that he crossed a massive line.

Just recently my 9 year old daughter rather than leave bed and her tablet choose to pee.You know what i did no tv or tablet for 2 weeks .She isn't special needs it was bad behavior.

When she first did i didn't get mad i asked her why ,i said i am not going to be mad with you because you told me.But there are consequences for you actions.

violence should never be tolerated ,if she did something like that.I would be asking why ,how would it make you feel if i did that to you and teaching her there is a time and place for aggression.

Its why i signed her up taekwondo classes to teach her how to vent in a appropriate place and how to control her anger.I found it helped a lot shame about lockdown.I think its why shes been acting up

hes crossed a line and you need to take this seriously.
Ive had to square up to both of my boys when theyve tried to get physical or aggressive with me, and it hasnt even been anywhere near the punching me in the face thing, but its very VERY important that a young boy knows that they cant get physically violent as they will soon be bigger than you

Is his dad around or a good male role model. Strong words need to be had

I think I would have taken a hammer to the plat station. I would definitely unplugged it all and taken it off him for good.
Being cheeky is one thing, punching his mum in the face...nope.

@SomeonesRealName

In his room all day with no electronics that would be an absolute eternity for a 7 year old, have you really done that?

What on earth do you think parents and children did in days when PS4s weren't around (not even that long ago)? He'll survive. I'd be taking PS4 privileges off him for a lot longer than a day if my son had punched me in the face. Gives him more chance to learn consequence and reflect on his behaviours.

How long does he normally spend on it? It sounds like he is starting to get some anger issues op, I'd tempted to go cold turkey for a few days to get him into some other toys.

Is he playing violent games?

'In his room all day with no electronics that would be an absolute eternity for a 7 year old, have you really done that?'

If a NT 7 year old can't occupy themselves for one day without electronics in their own room with toys, games and books, this is a great opportunity to remove electronics and reset. I wouldn't present spending time playing in their room as a punishment, however. It sends the wrong message. It should be fun. After a while with no electronics, a child will rediscover how to entertain themselves.

Some kids cannot cope with having access to gaming and I think your son is one of them. My dd was the same.

In your situation I'd do the same as I did and remove the console entirely, a few days of him kicking off over it is much easier than years of cyclic misery over the same, damn thing.

Seven is old enough to discuss what has happened, why it has happened and why its wrong. Just punishing isn’t enough, the discussion needs to be had when you’re both calm.

Punishment shouldn’t be cruel, but children shouldn’t enjoy it either. Banning electronics/a day in his bedroom is fine for a 7 year old.

You say he normally gets angry fairly quickly, what do you mean by that? Is it a tantrum etc? Because to me angry would be verbally aggressive such as him threatening to smash the TV etc, not behaviour I would expect from a child, but certainly not a 7 year old.

If he'd punched me in the face, sure as fuck I'd be presenting staying in his room all day as a punishment!

But I know what you mean, thethoughtfox, children should never think of their rooms as somewhere they only go to be punished. But withdrawal of parental attention is a form of punishment, backed with withdrawal of devices it may well get the message across that this behaviour is completely over the line.

"In his room all day with no electronics that would be an absolute eternity for a 7 year old, have you really done that?"
I have certainly taken away electronics for longer than 24 hrs. And they can only come out of their room for meals/toilet and to spend time with me for polite interaction/chats and reflection and finally apologies (this is something called a "time in" after a time out). But the time limit has to stick - an apology five minutes after the event can't mean they get the electronics back immediately otherwise they don't connect the consequences. You have to follow through. It's a huge pain in the arse to hide the things but you have to do it and mean it. And extra bans & consequences if he finds them (the forbidden things) and sneaks them early.
If you have a car I'd be putting the whole ps setup in the boot until quite a lot has changed. And all the other electronic 'toys' have to be limited as well.
Good luck - hope you can handle this in such a way that it's the only the he ever punches you- ever!

This is an addiction, stick to your guns and don't back down. Prepare to be hated in the short term and accept that he won't understand your actions for about 20 years, good luck.

depends on the child's additional needs. Mine was always given the option to earn it back, otherwise there was no incentive for them to behave. length of time for a ban depended on age, and behaviour.

violence is always a ban from whatever it was that prompted it. direct consequences. Ban got longer as they got older.