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Original poster

7 year old just punched me in the face

180 replies

SomeonesRealName · 16/07/2020 08:33

Forgot to hide his PS4 controllers this morning (he has to do learning first) and so took them off him when he got up. He went berserk yelling at me and hitting at me, saying he would smash our TV. I gave him a warning and tried to distract him but then he continued so I tried to put him in time out and that's when he punched me in the face with a closed fist. It really hurt. His timer finished but he was still giving me attitude and tbh I felt nowhere near ready to hug and make up. He's still on the step. Any advice?

OP posts:
Ickabog · 16/07/2020 08:54

I do think a week off it would be an interesting experiment.

A week, interesting experiment? Hmm He punched you in the face. You need to get rid of the console for good.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/07/2020 08:54

No offence but the naughty step is for a pre schooler who hits without fully understanding what they are doing, or a foul word from an older child- a 7yr old punching me in the face?! No. I don’t think being in their bedroom is hellish, assuming they have toys in there, work to do. But you don’t get to punch someone and partake in the day with the family.
I would tell them I’m throwing the play station away- but in reality would put it in storage, so I wouldn’t have to rebuy one at a later stage.

Tadpolesandfroglets · 16/07/2020 08:57

I’d be removing his PS for a week. That’s not acceptable behaviour, I have zero tolerance for physical stuff in our house. If it happens again it would be gone for good.

TimeWastingButFun · 16/07/2020 08:58

We stopped the time out when they were quite little still. Where possible we try to link the punishment to the crime so in this case we would tell him he was clearly too attached to the PS4 to be able to stop when told so that we would be taking it away for a while until his behaviour improved. That way there's no chance of having to physically manhandle him onto a naughty step (I always think that just helps to inflame things!) and you can stay calm. Also I'd be wanting to see some genuine remorse about the hitting before I thought about giving it back.
Assuming he was so mad because he was in the middle of something important to him and possibly hadn't saved it yet, you could remind him that if he goes on it outside of the allowed times then he runs the risk of it just being switched off, whereas normally you can give him a 15 min warning that it's time to save and stop.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 16/07/2020 08:58

In his room all day with no electronics that would be an absolute eternity for a 7 year old, have you really done that

Kids need to learn to 'self soothe' when they are in trouble - they won't do this if they have access to technology.

We took the PS4 off our 12 year old son for an entire summer once. He had done something pretty bad.
He's 19 now and still talks about 'that summer' but he never did it again.

If you've got a hot headed child please try to nip these behaviours in the bud now while you still can. Much easier with a 7 year old than a 17 year old.

I found it hard and didn't entirely succeed but if your child grows up thinking he can punch his mother in the face and not be suitably punished it'll get far worse when he's a teenager and testosterone kicks in. It's too late then.

Original poster
SomeonesRealName · 16/07/2020 08:58

It's a one off in that he's never punched me before when I say he has a hot temper I just mean he can feel angry quite easily not that he normally hits me.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/07/2020 08:58

I’d certainly not confine him to his room, you’re not a jailer for gods sake and that’s bordering on abusive.

But I agree no electronics for a few days, and I’d remove any other treats, I’d also explain to him calmly just how unacceptable his behaviour was.

I don’t think a naughty step is ok though at seven, that’s for toddlers.

Ughmaybenot · 16/07/2020 08:59

Also
In his room all day with no electronics that would be an absolute eternity for a 7 year old, have you really done that?
Are you being serious? Confused

QuentinWinters · 16/07/2020 09:00

Oh op Flowers
I've had similar recently from my 8 year old, it is horrible. Hes not been allowed on the ps4 at my house for a week now (still ongoing) or youtube. I've told him he won't be allowed on it until he's had a stretch of time without tantrumming, I'm also going to be seeking professional help because I feel totally out of my depth.

What doesn't help in my case is ex H denying theres a problem (well he doesn't do that at my house!) And giving him unlimited screen time Sad

Just wanted to give you a hand hold because I know it's really hard

EchidnasPhone · 16/07/2020 09:01

Definitely no electronics. We found out quite early that the boys were unable to self regulate their moods when they had more than 30 minutes on a screen. And that’s still the case with my eldest so no way would I be giving a 7 year old who needs a naughty step still use of electronics. Start today as you mean to go on. Get rid of the PlayStation until his brain has matured.

Ickabog · 16/07/2020 09:01

It's a one off in that he's never punched me before when I say he has a hot temper I just mean he can feel angry quite easily not that he normally hits me.

It may be the first time he's punched you but the other behaviour is also very extreme for a 7 year old.

He went berserk yelling at me and hitting at me, saying he would smash our TV... and that's when he punched me in the face with a closed fist.

SoloMummy · 16/07/2020 09:01

If that happened he has an incredibly worrying bed for the gaming.
I would for the behaviour of not giving it to you have banned a 7 year old a week from gadgets and electronic games. For the violence, that requires significant punishment that will set the boundary lines with you and oh being on the same page. So I'd let him know that when you have voth discussed you'll be speaking with him. For me it needs to be significant enough to prevent him repeating. So losing planned activities, pocket money for a sign isn't period such as no pocket money losing a day out, etc. If you don't set a precedent now, the next time it will be easier to repeat or worse.

daysofpearlyspencer · 16/07/2020 09:02

Can I ask what his father has said to him about this and will he be putting on a united front with you regards the appropriate discipline? At what point has a 7 year old seen somone punched in face, I wonder if he is viewing violent games somewhere.

Original poster
SomeonesRealName · 16/07/2020 09:03

Thanks I've had some really good advice and I'm feeling calmer.

OP posts:
Pollyputthepizzaon · 16/07/2020 09:05

Get rid of the playstation for a start. \utterly unnecessary for a 7 year old

And you can see the behaviour it encourages. My 8 year old has an ipad for 60 mins a week and other than that plays with toys and outside.

If he has more screen time his behaviour worsens so we don't bother.

TimeWastingButFun · 16/07/2020 09:06

In his room all day with no electronics that would be an absolute eternity for a 7 year old, have you really done that?
I would have guessed that being cooped up is probably part of the problem, so no electronics definitely but rather than stick him in his room I'd take him out for a long walk in the fresh air instead, take a picnic and try to find out what's really behind the behaviour (worries about not seeing his friends, inappropriate gaming content etc?)

PatchworkElmer · 16/07/2020 09:06

I’d bet putting the PS4 in the loft, too. And seeing if he can interact socially in other ways after a few days- can he meet friends outside now?

SpinningLikeATop · 16/07/2020 09:06

PS4 gets removed from your house would be my advice. He needs to learn that violence is unacceptable, and fast. Otherwise you will soon have a pre-teen/teenager who matches you in size and is surging with hormones and all that entails.

JizzPigeon22 · 16/07/2020 09:07

Happy and sad tokens for a 7 year old? Are you serious? OP if you treat him like a toddler he’s going to act like one!

I don’t agree with hitting children but If my child punched me in the face they’d get hit back. Hard. They need to understand how much it hurts and how horrible it makes that person feel.

Duchessofealing · 16/07/2020 09:07

Does he do much sport OP? I’d get him running in the garden if you have one - I’ve found that exercise is really key to mine being able to regulate emotions.
I’d also ban all screens for at least a week and remove the PS for the rest of the summer. But, I’d make time to play instead and do board games, jigsaws, football etc in place of it.

Original poster
SomeonesRealName · 16/07/2020 09:07

The tokens have worked pretty well, he can exchange them for things he wants to buy so they are like pocket money.

OP posts:
WearyandBleary · 16/07/2020 09:08

In a few years time his behaviour will have you calling the police.

There is something very wrong here. What games is he playing?

He is clearly too young to be spending so much time on electronic devices. Can you take some time off work to spend more time with him generally?

Original poster
SomeonesRealName · 16/07/2020 09:09

I'm signing off now, thanks for all the advice. Going to speak to him and will put the PS4 away.

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 16/07/2020 09:10

PlayStation needs to be put away.
Serious talk needed about behaviour and boundaries.
Serious consequences needed.
He punched you in the face, that is very violent and unreasonable for a 7yr old. I would be giving serious consideration as to whether this “hot temper” is more of an issue than any of you currently realise.

Evelefteden · 16/07/2020 09:10

OP I’d really recommend reading ‘Raising Boys* from Steve Biddulph.

Also the games console would be forever gone. He struck you in your face. This is huge.

When your ready I’d be sitting talking to him about how this made you feel and how much it hurt.

His behaviour is extreme and you need to start reading parenting books and looking at your methods of how you deal with this little boy before he becomes a violent young man.

How much screen time does he have during the day?

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