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Parenting

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Original poster

When do you get your evenings back?

145 replies

exhausted89 · 07/07/2020 20:44

My DS is 10 weeks old. He’s usually a good sleeper at night, either waking for just one feed between 11pm and 6am or sleeping through entirely.

The problem is, I can’t get him to sleep in his cot during the evenings (7pm to 11pm). He will sleep, but only in the sling with me or DH.

Can anyone suggest how I can get him to sleep in his cot for those four hours? I love DS to bits but am feeling so exhausted and am struggling with having so little time to myself.

Also, is it realistic to hope for my evenings back at this early age?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PippinStar · 07/07/2020 21:51

I think around 5 months DS started going to sleep at 9pm. Over the next 4 months that gradually got earlier and earlier until he went to bed at 6.30pm. Once he hit 13/14 months, it changed to 7pm.

UltimateWednesday · 07/07/2020 21:51

What? OP has clearly stated there is a DH

worriedandannoyed · 07/07/2020 21:52

Everyone I know who says their child has slept through from 6 weeks and gone 7-7 has put their baby in their cot and left them to cry themselves to sleep till they learn no one comes when you cry. No thank you.

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uisage · 07/07/2020 21:55

I started a bedtime routine at 8 weeks so I've had my evenings since then. When he was younger, I had to nip upstairs a few times in the evenings, but that's tailed off now.

But he was awake for hours every night (he sleeps through now).

The hard part is that they're all so different! You can't judge from other people's answers, and you tend to have people with a negative experience answer rather than the ones that had babies that sleep 7-7 every night from a young age.

It will happen when you least expect it, babies like to keep us on our toes.

theproblemwitheyes · 07/07/2020 22:00

@worriedandannoyed then you know some shit people, have you considered making a report to SS and asking them to do a welfare check?

But babies who sleep 7-7 from 6w without crying themselves out do exist, there have been several in my family (my cousin from 4 days!!) and I've never met anyone who would leave a baby that young to cry.

Wecandothis99 · 07/07/2020 22:01

6 months. Some of you guys have had it hard! Jesus

BikeRunSki · 07/07/2020 22:07

So, from about 5-8 years there is a brief period. The Beavers/sports/Swimming etc types activities get a bit later and it gives again.

RedRumTheHorse · 07/07/2020 22:07

Thing is OP the first night he sleeps through you will think he's dead. Then he will start teething. Those holes in their jaws are no joke.

BuffaloCauliflower · 07/07/2020 22:08

In the kindest possible way because I can tell you’re struggling - it’s mad to even be asking this at 10 weeks. Baby isn’t even meant to have been born yet compared to other primates. Have a read up of the 4th trimester if you haven’t already. All they need is to be close to you as much as possible. Baby also still needs to be in the same room as you even when sleeping even for naps for a while yet, for SIDS safety. If baby is happy to sleep on you or DH can you all snuggle down together in the evenings?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/07/2020 22:08

Persevere. We were firm sorry I’m no co sleeping mother, very much pro sleep training after 6 months but this advice for a new born/ young baby makes me wince. Babies are meant to sleep in the same room as parents, picked up when crying, fed on demand at first. Imposing a routine in such a way at such an age imo is cruel

runrabbitrunrunrun · 07/07/2020 22:09

Your baby was born 10 weeks ago and you’re wondering when you’re getting your evenings back?!?! Is this a joke?

SqidgeBum · 07/07/2020 22:11

My DD reliably went down at 7pm from about 3 months and woke for a bottle at 10pm. At 5.5 months she dropped the 10pm bottle and now at 19 months I can count on one hand the amount of times she has woken up (only when she is unwell or teething). I know she is quite unusual, but at 10 weeks I was in your shoes and everyone told me 'you wont sleep for 3 years at least'. I wanted to give you a positive story.

Lsquiggles · 07/07/2020 22:11

I was literally about to write this exact same post. My DD is 13 months and we haven't had an evening of peace since before she was born, it's hard I know

Original poster

exhausted89 · 07/07/2020 22:12

Your baby was born 10 weeks ago and you’re wondering when you’re getting your evenings back?!?! Is this a joke?

And the prize for sensitivity goes to...

OP posts:

Hall84 · 07/07/2020 22:13

We've never left her to cry.
OP I think she's naturally a good sleeper (we have strong sleep genes in the family) but we do bath and once she's out of the bath it's into soft lights, plinky plonky music as we call it, something to eat if she needs it (not always) and we stay with her until she's asleep. I use some baby massage techniques. Sometimes it takes longer than others. As a general rule we try to avoid naps after 530 but if it happens and things shift later then so be it.

Original poster

exhausted89 · 07/07/2020 22:14

Thank you @SqidgeBum ! Did you do anything specific to achieve that?

OP posts:

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 07/07/2020 22:15

Briefly for a few years between 4 and 7yrs old?

fabulous01 · 07/07/2020 22:16

What are evenings?
I don't think I have watched adult telly in 5 years ( I have 5 year old twins)

fabulous01 · 07/07/2020 22:16

What are evenings?
I don't think I have watched adult telly in 5 years ( I have 5 year old twins)

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/07/2020 22:17

Do you have a Moses basket etc downstairs in the day OP? I used to have my LO in that in the lounge with us of an evening. So I’d eat my dinner, chat with my husband but she was only a foot away from me. I’d breastfeed whilst watching a box set with my husband. I wasn’t cut off alone without an evening, just a different evening

creamorwhite · 07/07/2020 22:18

From 9 weeks DD slept 6pm - 10pm in her cot, it helped our marriage hugely as we could actually have dinner together and a slither of couple life.

However she used to wake at 10pm for 2 hours, then again at 2am and again at 5am and this went on for well over a year. I was a sleep obsessed zombie. I would count myself incredibly lucky that your baby is sleeping through. Soon enough they'll get more comfortable in the cot.

Original poster

exhausted89 · 07/07/2020 22:19

I do have a basket but he won’t sleep in it - he will only sleep on me or DH. I know I sound awful but I look after him all day and just want a bit of my own space - and DH has a very demanding job and often has to work in the evenings.

OP posts:

Bellesavage · 07/07/2020 22:19

SIDS guidelines are to keep baby in with you until 6 months which means not putting them upstairs or anywhere and keeping them with you whilst they sleep. So at least 6 months. Doesn't mean you can't watch TV and relax a bit though with them in your arms.

Original poster

exhausted89 · 07/07/2020 22:21

I would count myself incredibly lucky that your baby is sleeping through. Soon enough they'll get more comfortable in the cot.

I know, I am very lucky in that regard. He does seem to like his cot at night - just not during the evening!

OP posts:

Mrskeats · 07/07/2020 22:23

My youngest is 21 and I'm required to go up for a chat about something. She's just graduated.
So I'm going for never.

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