Getting rid of the dummy for a nearly 6 year old

[Totallyawinetaster]

Hi all, I need some advice on how to get rid of my nearly 6 year old DD's dummy. We have tried everything to convince her to give it up and nothing has worked. I know she's really old to still be having a dummy, but now she is so attracted to it that she won't even consider giving it up.

We've been through the dummy fairy, giving it to Santa, the Easter Bunny taking it, we've read all the books, tried bribery, threats, we've lost it, forgot it going on holiday, everything. You name it we've tried it. Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Part of me wants to believe that she'll stop using it on her own, but I can't see it anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice?

Right, I've had a quick look around the house and found 6 dummies, plus she has one in her mouth, I know that there are more but not sure where. Once she takes that one out of her mouth I'll take them and explain that she can't have them anymore, then I'm going to cut them up and put them in the bin.

@Totallyawinetaster why can't you ask her for it now? Then get rid of them?

Does she have a dummy all day long?

I assumed it was night time only.

You really need to nail this now.

[quote dobbyssoc]@Totallyawinetaster why can't you ask her for it now? Then get rid of them? [/quote]
I want to explain to her what's going to happen before she kicks off, if I take it off her then she'll probably kick off now.

@iMatter

Does she have a dummy all day long?

I assumed it was night time only.

You really need to nail this now.

Not all day but some of the time, when she's chilling. She's watching TV just now so she has it.

I think you're better doing it at this time of day but ask a neighbour to take them & put it their bin, or a street bin. Honestly it sounds like you'd actually go & get them out of your own bin. Or cut them up before putting them in your own bin.

It will tire her out if she starts melting down about it during the day & maybe get to sleep easier later. Hopefully you will get a good nights sleep to get through tomorrow. In a week all this worry will be gone but you've got to be stoic! Good luck - you can do this!

@buckeejit

I think you're better doing it at this time of day but ask a neighbour to take them & put it their bin, or a street bin. Honestly it sounds like you'd actually go & get them out of your own bin. Or cut them up before putting them in your own bin.

It will tire her out if she starts melting down about it during the day & maybe get to sleep easier later. Hopefully you will get a good nights sleep to get through tomorrow. In a week all this worry will be gone but you've got to be stoic! Good luck - you can do this!

Thanks, that's why I'm cutting them, I don't trust myself to not go and get them out when all hell breaks loose.

Wow 6 I personally think 3 is too old for a dummy! However I understand some kids with learning disabilities do need them past this age. Does your dd have disabilities? If not just say no and take them away it's really not that hard.

If it helps to strengthen your resolution, DS1 had dummies at night until his fourth birthday, way too late. He is now 13 and has been on a waiting list for 2 years to have a brace as his teeth are all over the shop. He will need at least two teeth removed. His brother did not have dummies, his teeth are fine.

Actually I think now is the perfect time to give them up. You’re not going anywhere, your DD is at home, it’s a bit like toilet training in that you give them up when you don’t have to rush out anywhere.

You’re setting yourself up for a lot more than just the odd tantrum if you keep giving in to this. Other children’s parents won’t want her round playing with their DC if she tantrums like that. As she gets older she’ll get into more and more things you don’t approve of, and you’ll have no way of dealing with it because she’s never been told no.

Seriously this is really shit parenting.

Don't ask her or explain. Just get rid, when she asks the answer is no and change the subject, ignore the tantrum.

You've already explained this a hundred times, the bunny, the fairies etc etc etc and it means nothing because they've always come back. Telling her you're taking them is just antagonising her. Do it discretely and when she starts a tantrum you explain that she is too old. She can and will understand that.

You're really making this traumatic for her. Stick to what you say.

And still you’re letting her rule. Just go and take the dummy and tell her that from now on there’s no more dummies. Does it really matter when the tantrum occurs? It’s going to happen anyway, might as well just get it over with.

Seriously OP parent your bloody child.

I saw something recommended online to get child to give up a dummy:
Cut the nipples off all of them. When she asks for her dummy give her the dummy (minus it's nipple) and then be like "Oh no it's broken you better put it in the bin" and then when she asks for her dummy you can then remind her that they were broken and were binned.

Or another option (my mum used this to get me to stop breastfeeding as a toddler but I'm sure it would work for a dummy too)

Dip the dummy in something your daughter doesn't like. Something with a strong flavour: mustard, lemon juice. (If safe) I'd try clove oil that stuff is disgusting and the taste stays in your mouth for ages. Hopefully if you keep doing that she will decide that she doesn't want the dummy as it tastes disgusting. If she complains that it tastes bad you could always explain that dummy's start tasting bad when you get too old for them... that's why adults don't have dummies.

2 potential options instead of just throwing them in the bin

It’s not just damage to her teeth, dummies are terrible for adversely affecting speech and language development, which will in turn affect her education.

You will be better off doing it first thing in the morning, then you have all day to deal with it

Hope it goes well. The upset will end but tooth problems could last forever. Empathise but be firm.

She's gone to the toilet and left the dummy. I'm going to snip and bin all the ones I've found before she gets back.

🍿

Well done OP

Well done OP.

Remember when she kicks off that dealing with a tantrum is a lot easier than dealing with a child facing years of painful correctional dental work.

Well done OP.

Persevere and it'll be worth it.

Parenting is sometimes very tough but you do have to be cruel to be kind sometimes

What am I reading.... 3.is too old for a dummy let alone 6. Grow a backbone sharpish. The dummies will be the least of your problems soon.

You can't turn back the clock but you can bin them with immediate effect.

Dummies in the bin, she hasn't noticed yet.

All this giving in is just traumatising her.
She has massive tantrums because she knows you will give it back to her if she cries. It's extremely cruel to play with her feelings like that. Imagine the anxiety she goes through for nothing.
Just put them in the bin and never ever give in again. Put up with the tantrums.
Lots of praise and distraction. Plan a day out tomorrow

Well done OP. First step done. Be strong. You can get through this!