Getting rid of the dummy for a nearly 6 year old

[Totallyawinetaster]

Hi all, I need some advice on how to get rid of my nearly 6 year old DD's dummy. We have tried everything to convince her to give it up and nothing has worked. I know she's really old to still be having a dummy, but now she is so attracted to it that she won't even consider giving it up.

We've been through the dummy fairy, giving it to Santa, the Easter Bunny taking it, we've read all the books, tried bribery, threats, we've lost it, forgot it going on holiday, everything. You name it we've tried it. Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Part of me wants to believe that she'll stop using it on her own, but I can't see it anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice?

Well done @beefarseer. I'm so pleased that you were able to get through the first difficult nights and keep going until it became easier for all of you. You used a similar strategy to me when I stopped my DD having a dummy (although it was genuinely lost to begin with) and like you say, it doesn't have to be a fight or a battle. You were able to comfort your son and help him through the transition. It is awful seeing them so upset and distressed but, as you've just experienced, it is only temporary and they learn very quickly that they can get comfort in other ways. Good for you for taking on board what was said on this thread and for the good outcome.

Read “ The Last Noo Noo”. Plant the dummy! Get a new tree for DC where it used to be. It won’t be a Noo Noo tree but it will be a source of delight!

Thank you for that lovely message @allthesharks. So many things can be a battle with autism and I'm happy to admit I was wrong and this didn't have to be.

In case this helps anyone else, my DS has an intense need to be in control and reacts against anything he is unhappy with. We went with 'dummy is lost' because it was a neutral thing, rather than something DH and I imposed on him. It removed the possibility of a long battle with us.

@BeeFarseer I had to similar with my eldest. Even lost, in neutral terms, was hard

It was a massively hex battle with 2 steps forward and three steps back. My mental health was equally as important as his dental health.

It very easy for people who have never experienced these extremes to assume it's lazy parenting.

So often these issues are the early indicators of a bigger battle.

My eldest is now 18. He's just finished his a levels. He's the only one of my 3 who doesn't need braces!

Hi I am so relieved to read this since I do have the same absolute issue with my 6 year old daughter. I read all the comments and it’s funny how it’s so easy to say it but we know better, let me know if you have found any solution. My daughter tried several times but there is absolute no sleep when she does not have it, looking forward hearing from you

@Fernandacastro

Hi I am so relieved to read this since I do have the same absolute issue with my 6 year old daughter. I read all the comments and it’s funny how it’s so easy to say it but we know better, let me know if you have found any solution. My daughter tried several times but there is absolute no sleep when she does not have it, looking forward hearing from you

I'm in the same boat, 5 year old DS cannot sleep without a dummy. We've tried everything!! Was hoping this thread to give some useful advice, but instead it's just a witch burning of OP. I don't have the heart to just through them away and tell him tough luck. I guess I'll have to keep on looking.

I don't have the heart to just through them away and tell him tough luck.

Why not @ItsDynamite - honestly, just do it! Your child will thank you when he doesn’t need a load of uncomfortable orthodontic treatment to correct the issues that dummies can sometimes cause. You will have a horrendous couple of nights but it’ll be so worth it in the long run.

As If it's that easy and even harder for SEND children my daughter has ADHD she's 6 and still has a dummy I've looked to here for advice myself as my daughter uses its for sensory and emotional regulation and otherwise she will put other possibly unsafe things in her mouth . we've tried sensory chews amongst techniques we have managed to get her to the point when she is home and she can hold off most of the day but come 6pm when her medication wears off and she becomes emotionally de regulated is the hardest and after already binning 4 and sending one off in a balloon she's plucked another one from hiding.. milestones like this can be particularly hard

Lazy parenting some childrens needs outweigh whether or not the child has a dummy or not

Lazy, lazy, lazy parenting. You have to be a parent even when you get bad personal news, it’s what you sign up for.

Sorry but this is a load of crap. What happens if she’s 18 and the dummy is replaced with drugs? She wants them badly so she gets them.

Awful, awful parenting.