Getting rid of the dummy for a nearly 6 year old

[Totallyawinetaster]

Hi all, I need some advice on how to get rid of my nearly 6 year old DD's dummy. We have tried everything to convince her to give it up and nothing has worked. I know she's really old to still be having a dummy, but now she is so attracted to it that she won't even consider giving it up.

We've been through the dummy fairy, giving it to Santa, the Easter Bunny taking it, we've read all the books, tried bribery, threats, we've lost it, forgot it going on holiday, everything. You name it we've tried it. Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Part of me wants to believe that she'll stop using it on her own, but I can't see it anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice?

you need to be cruel to be kind. Throw the dummies out, do not buy any more. You now know to expect the tantrums, so don't give in. You could buy her a new cuddly toy, if you like, to cuddle when she is missing the dummy. this one is soft
www.amazon.co.uk/Mousehouse-Gifts-Adorable-Stuffed-Christening/dp/B00D91O2JW/ref=sr_1_24?dchild=1&s=baby&crid=37DOAOQS2FIW4&keywords=soft+toys+for+babies&sprefix=soft+%2Cbaby%2C151&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1592390965&sr=1-24

if I throw them away she could easily find another one.
Every time she finds one, take it away and throw it out. Eventually you will have got rid of them all.

Seriously - you are going to create a monster if you give in to her every time she tantrums. Man up. This won't end up being just about a dummy and bad teeth but about a child with serious issues that no one wants to be around.

Every time she finds one u take it off her and throw it out. Won't take long

There really isn't any other alternative

I agree with the person who said you're giving your child bad teeth in order to have an easier life.

Throw them all in the bin today, after snipping them up with scissors so you can't easily change your mind later and fish then out again. If she finds another one, snip and throw it away. Repeat until they're all gone.

If you always give in to tantrums you're going to have a horrible brat on your hands who can't deal with the real world as an adult.

If she threw that type of tantrum because you wouldn't let her play with sharp knives would you give in and let her play with the knives?

Probably not. Don't give in!

Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Solution is obvious no? She cries and screams and cries and screams and doesn't end up with the dummy... and maybe cries and screams for weeks. One day she will stop the crying and screaming.

Every time you give her the dummy you are deliberately damaging her body-because you know it’s destroying her jaw, yet still choose to do it. Six year olds don’t get to tantrum. Parent your kid.

She's six... does she take it to school? I've never heard something like this before for such an older child. This is the behaviour of a 2 year old!
Throw them out, no dummy fairy, no Santa just get rid it's ridiculous you keep letting her have it

You just need to be firm. Today. Explain to her gently that she is too old for a dummy if she is grown up about it and does not tantrum promise her some kind of treat. Make it absolute clear that this is the end. Then find as many as you can and chuck. Ideally incentivise her to find them for you (a £ a dummy that can then be spent in the toy shop?)

You've already been told by a medical professional that the dummy is doing her damage but still you don't listen. What will it take? She has an overbite and a pretty high chance her speech is affected. Stop giving into tantrums from a six year old and think about what sort of child you are trying to raise. You're not doing her any favours at all.

Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy. This is where the mistake is, every time! Do not give in, the crying will stop and your DD will move on, but only if you as parents follow through.

Throw them all away, in an outside bin, then she can't have them

How old are your older 2 DC, OP?
It sounds like they are seeing the ‘baby of the family’ (who is almost 6) get their own way by screaming and tantrumming. I imagine that they don’t get their own way by doing this and it’s not fair on them to treat them differently just because of order of birth.

Just chuck it away, find the others and chuck them away too. She will be upset and have a major tantrum but she will eventually calm down. I think the attitude of waiting for it to wear out and then doing it is just putting it off tbh. If you are serious about it you'd do it right now

Don’t assume that braces will be a magic definite fix to the damage being done now. They don’t always work long term and require a lot of care which you’re going to struggle to get your DD to comply with as you can’t cope with her tantrums.

Do you think that when she’s older she’ll be grateful to you for allowing her to keep using dummies for so long?

You need to toughen up now in order to limit the damage and to show her she can trust you to have her best interests informing your actions.

This 'she's my last baby' is damaging. She is 6. She's not been a baby for years. There is no quick fix to this, she and the dummies are not the problem. You've made this harder on yourself every time you gave in. Cut them up, bin them in the outside bin and deal with the tantrum. Remove other privileges if you need to. Then start working on establishing better boundaries before your other children start resenting you too.

This is actually bigger than a dummy OP.

You're teaching her that throwing a tantrum gets her what she wants.

If you don't sort this you'll end up posting again in 10 years asking for advice about a 16 year old who throws a major hissy fit when she's asked to do anything she doesn't want to and is virtually uncontrollable.

Bin the dummies you can find. If she finds a new one bin that too. Damage them before you bin them so she can't sneak them out of the bin.

Do not give in.

There's no magic wand here - you just have to be firm.

You are setting your child up for painful braces. Cut the top of the dummies and put them straight into the outside bin so you can’t give it.

This 'she's my last baby' is damaging. She is 6. She's not been a baby for years.

And this in spades ^

Poor and lazy parenting, it isn't up to the child. She doesn't have a choice.
You take it off her and don't give it back, ignore the resulting tantrums.
there is nothing worse than the sight of a child this age with a dummy in their mouth.
People seem to be terrified of their children these days and compeltely unable to say no.
I hope to god she isn't still in nappies.

Snooks1971 is right. Not only are you letting your 6yo down by not doing what's best for her, but your older 2 are probably becoming resentful of the way they are expected to behave in comparison to their younger sister.

I know it's hard, but the only right and fair thing to do is to bite the bullet and. To give in to the tantrums.

You have to sit it out and it will get better.
DD is the queen of tantrums. Usually with me they last about 10mins or so now. When im not around and they are with DH she gets away with everything, because he will always give in! He is getting better now, but when DD is alone with him she will throw fits that last up to 2h.. because she knows there's a chance that he will cave!
You have made the situation worse for yourself. The longer you wait, the worse it will get. Not just with the dummy!

Is this for real?

....and when she's a self-conscious teenager having to be fit for braces she won't thank you for having given in to her.