Getting rid of the dummy for a nearly 6 year old

[Totallyawinetaster]

Hi all, I need some advice on how to get rid of my nearly 6 year old DD's dummy. We have tried everything to convince her to give it up and nothing has worked. I know she's really old to still be having a dummy, but now she is so attracted to it that she won't even consider giving it up.

We've been through the dummy fairy, giving it to Santa, the Easter Bunny taking it, we've read all the books, tried bribery, threats, we've lost it, forgot it going on holiday, everything. You name it we've tried it. Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Part of me wants to believe that she'll stop using it on her own, but I can't see it anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice?

@IndieRo

I would say that yes, something that can negatively affect a child's health, wellbeing and social interactions is pretty big on most parents agendas.

So if she has the dummy whilst cuddling toy at bedtime, then she might start associating it with the same feeling. Something small she can hold and put in her pocket maybe?

"When your rearing, you should be sparing"

What?!

When your rearing, you should be sparing

I don’t know what that means.

@2007Millie, in two seperate threads you have accused me of damaging my children's future health.

@IndieRo

It is absolute fact that a dummy increases the risk of damage to a child's mouth and has potential negative implications surrounding their speech development.
That is not made up. It is not an assumption. It is not an opinion. It is not something I've plucked out of thin air.
Yours views all are.

@2007Millie, my child is fine, actually one of the very few children in her class that doesn't need braces.Nothing wrong with her speech either.

@IndieRo

And that's great, but you have to understand that science says the likelihood is that will not be the case.

It's unlikely you'll have a car crash, but you still put your seatbelt on just in case. And you would never recommend to not put your seat belt on, just in case.

A parent, in my opinion, should be encouraged to make the 'better' choice.

I sucked my thumb, apparently the district nurse suggested it BUT I am talking a very, very long time ago. My overbite is terrible, never had braces although these days I'm sure I would automatically My parents were loving and caring and I had a great childhood, but oh boy do I wish they'd given me a dummy that I could have got rid of at 2 or 3 like my little brother did!

Stay strong OP, and don't let her start thumb sucking as a substitute, 'cos you can't cut off a thumb and throw it away and the habit becomes an unconscious one - I used to find my thumb was in my mouth, particularly when I was reading, for decades with no conscious decision at all. I am not proud of this at all.

@2007Millie, must "do better".. Noted, lol

@IndieRo please don’t be mistaken, 90% of the people on this thread will be agreeing with @2007Millie ...

Update, it's been a tough one so far.
She's has been in an utterly terrible mood so far today. One meltdown over the dummy just before lunch, and asked a couple of times other than that. Her behaviour has been generally awful though, but I'm hanging in there.

She's probably tired too

You're doing so well. Nearly 24hrs in. Keep reminding yourself that you don't want to ever have to relive that 24hrs, and that if you hold firm, you won't have to. Today and tomorrow will be tough because she's tired, but tomorrow will be better than today, and by the weekend you'll have this well cracked.

Just remember that there'll be pleas in the future when she's not well etc- prepare yourself for saying no then too

I juts read through the thread and I have to say you have done so well!!!

Well done. You’re over the hardest but so just keep going now.

do not give up

Ahhh well done OP! You're doing so well.

Well done OP.

You're going to be in for a tough few days but it will get better.

It's obviously hard to see her upset but you've got to stay firm.

Today she's going to be sad/angry about the dummies but tired and grumpy as well from a disturbed nights sleep..

Ironically that might help might help her settle better tonight as she'll be very tired.

Today I'd try and focus on dismissal and distraction. So if she says she wants her dummy just say "no more dummies" (don't elaborate or say something like "you don't need a dummy" because that's an opening to argue that she does) then change the subject totally "no more dummies, I was thinking about what to cook for dinner, is there anything you think I should make?".

She needs to know you're not going to engage in a conversation about the dummies whatsoever (same with your DH). Just keep to the statement "no more dummies" then distract.

You're doing well

Excellent work op! I wonder if you might suggest an extra story tonight at bedtime or similar 'now that she's a big girl' but only mention this at a time when she's not behaving badly so as not to reward any bad behaviour iyswim

Actually it might be better to wait until she's properly used to it and not tantrumming at all then suggest a treat/reward

Well done OP

@IndieRo

Like I said, it's fact that for a large majority of children removing the dummy at an early age is much better and more beneficial.

I appreciate it's not easy, my own son had one until 6 months, but if you allow your child to have a dummy beyond the recommend limit you are actively choosing to put them at a higher risk of damage.

Keep on going OP ⭐️

Keep going. The worst is probably over now. She'll probably play up again at bedtime tonight but keep going. You'll soon be there.