Getting rid of the dummy for a nearly 6 year old

[Totallyawinetaster]

Hi all, I need some advice on how to get rid of my nearly 6 year old DD's dummy. We have tried everything to convince her to give it up and nothing has worked. I know she's really old to still be having a dummy, but now she is so attracted to it that she won't even consider giving it up.

We've been through the dummy fairy, giving it to Santa, the Easter Bunny taking it, we've read all the books, tried bribery, threats, we've lost it, forgot it going on holiday, everything. You name it we've tried it. Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Part of me wants to believe that she'll stop using it on her own, but I can't see it anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice?

Just remember that you have got past the worst of it now. You've done the really hard thing of sticking through the first night. It will get easier from here.

@Totallyawinetaster, my daughter who is now 12 gave her dummy up at 7 or 8. My husband went on and on about her having it but I wouldn't take it of her. She gave it up when she was ready. Her teeth are perfect. My mother took my dummy when I was 2 and told me to suck my thumb instead... I still do now at 39 Don't be listening to all the others bashing you about dd having her dummy.

But @IndieRo the OP has said the dentist has advised them that the dummy has started to damage her DD’s teeth.

OP, you have done so amazingly well. Just take each day as it comes and all this crying will be a distant memory soon.

She'll probably have a dummy or two stashed away somewhere that she'll come upon. Well done for being strong so far! A couple more days and you'll have it cracked.

Well done on last night. Now stay firm with her. You really can't keep letting a 6 year old dictate like this to you. She needs to learn that tantrums don't get her what she wants.

Imagine yourself forward to next week. She'll have got over this and so will you. It's tough but it's got to be done some time, so it might as well be now.

@indiero the science is clear that it is damaging for the teeth and jaw. Your daughter being a lucky exception does not disprove the science.

Nobody is suggesting that she sucks her thumb instead, which is arguably worse for teeth. Your mother telling you to suck your thumb instead was pointless, as you found out.

You must feel bloody fantastic! A huge achievement.
But be strong now, if you give in, then all of yesterday will have been a waste of time.
You've done the right thing.

Well done OP. I dare say the next few days are still going to be difficult though.

What about getting her a teddy or a bunny or something else that is comforting, as a "replacement". Its all about it being her comfort blanket if that the right term.

My son had a bear. Then it progressed from sleeping in the bed with him to on the bed. When visitors came over bear would get hidden under the bed. Bear was officially packed away when he was about 16.

Well done!
Check her bed, though to make sure there aren't one or two dummies down the side of the mattress.

When he was a toddler, I found a stash of dummies in DS's bed that he'd 'borrowed' from his baby sister.

Just recently went through this

First I got rid of them bar 1 over a couple of weeks

Made it very clear that once that one has gone or lost or damaged that's it. No more dummy's

Over a couple of months it got lost a few times and he had to go to bed with out it.

Then one night when the time felt right... I binned it and said it was lost. One night of crying and then he was fine. Phew 😅

A friends child sucked her two middle fingers from birth and had to have speech therapy to enable her to make certain speech sounds. The finger sucking had damaged the development of mouth, teeth and tongue movement.

Stay strong! It really is the right thing to do for your child and although she'll hate it now, it is so much better in the long run. It's also much fairer on your older children to see the tantrumming one being stood up to. It harms them if they see themselves being treated differently to a sibling.

Well done OP. You've broke the back of this, do NOT go back now for any reason!!

Well done OP... no doubt it will be a shorter round 2 tonight. But don't forget: you have already done the hard bit by setting the tone last night. 🍀🍀🍀

Hang in there for the long haul. Two years after my partner stopping DSD’s bottle at night in bed at the age of four, she still asks, with genuine hope, for one. Different situation of course as there’s two homes with unaligned parenting. But it shows how they have a long memory and endless optimism that they will get their way !!

Great job, get the older kids to keep an eye out for more

Well done OP, it's so hard not to give in at that time in the morning (which is the same time my 7month old ds woke up blowing raspberries and battering me with his myhummy...)

She may be so tired today that she goes to sleep with less fuss or wakes up less.

Well done op. Keep strong

@IndieRo

Well they are. Science and professionals explain that dummies past a certain point are harmful.

It's the classic "well they didn't have seatbelts in my day and I'm fine" crap.

@IndieRo the OP wants to get rid of the dummy and has been trying to for 2 years, that's what she's doing now. I don't think coming on here and saying it's fine my child had a dummy until they were 7/8 is anything to be proud about

That’s all good. You’ve done a day now so there’s no reason to give in now. You’ve done the hardest part

@Raaaa, never said I was proud. I gave my experience. Am I not allowed share my experience???In the grand scheme of raising a child, is a dummy the be all and end all of life. I'm sick of the mam bashing. Mum's on here make out they are perfect 24/7. There's an old Irish saying "when your rearing you should be sparing".

When does she use it op? It's completely normal for children to have a crutch. She's had it from a baby so no wonder it's difficult for her, it's her world. Maybe you can look at getting something to replace it with? Get her really involved in getting a lovely new toy or something and have them both together, then gently say the toy needs her and not the dummy.