Getting rid of the dummy for a nearly 6 year old

[Totallyawinetaster]

Hi all, I need some advice on how to get rid of my nearly 6 year old DD's dummy. We have tried everything to convince her to give it up and nothing has worked. I know she's really old to still be having a dummy, but now she is so attracted to it that she won't even consider giving it up.

We've been through the dummy fairy, giving it to Santa, the Easter Bunny taking it, we've read all the books, tried bribery, threats, we've lost it, forgot it going on holiday, everything. You name it we've tried it. Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Part of me wants to believe that she'll stop using it on her own, but I can't see it anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice?

Great update OP! You may have a repeat performance for a few days, but hang on in there.

6 years old!
You are the problem here.
Potentially, Her speech and Teeth will be an issue unless you get rid of it and stop giving it back.

9 or 10 dummies?! She has more dummies than my 11 month old.
Bin it. She'll get over it. She will tantrum but let her. She's a big girl now. I'd be tempted to cut the teat off just so she can't rummage through the bin to sneak one out.

I do wish people would RTFT!!

OP you're doing a good job now.

Well done op - just keep going. You CAN do this

Keep on going OP.

Sorry OP but you haven't cracked it.

Shes fallen asleep exhausted.
It will start again tomorrow.

Dont have false hope.

Will take about a week

But you know she can go to sleep without it! And she will know that too!

But o agree there will be likely a few more tricky nights!

Hello

I am late to the thread, mine used hers until about 6 . She had started to get gapped teeth,I tried to remove it but she started thumb sucking instead which I thought would have been a worse habit to stop. I removed the dummy at night once she had fallen asleep (feeling a massive failure).

Meanwhile she was settling at school and making a new bunch of friend who were coming to play dates - realised they thought she was silly/babyish for using the dummy and stopped using them overnight!

So peer pressure! Is she interested in sleepovers?

Teeth are ok now

In the midst of a global pandemic surely a dummy has to be one of the most unhygienic things around. It's a direct route in for the virus and generally in older than newborns/2nd or 3rd children people are quite lax about where it's been before plugging it back in. Now is absolutely the time to stay firm and say no more even if a lifetime of teeth and related health issues plus the huge potential for bullying haven't been.

Good point @TheTeenageYears! Especially when the parents can't even find the damn things but the kids manage to squirrel them away and find them again.. god knows where they've been gross.

Great update op- tonight will be easier once she knows her tantrum won’t achieve anything .

You need to look at what else she is tantruming to get her own way . She is your youngest but she still needs to follow boundaries and rules and low your mo means no.

@Totallyawinetaster

I know I need to be tougher with her, she's is the youngest and she gets away with murder. With my older 2 I was much stricter, but DD is my last baby.

I guess you are all right and I just need to be firm. I've tried to get her to leave the dummies in her bedroom and only have them when she's going to sleep, but I've caved on that front too. She has about 9 or 10 dummies scattered about the house, so I can't wait for them to wear out. I'm also pretty sure there are more in the house so if I throw them away she could easily find another one.

If she has that many, you're facilitating this by buying them and obviously there's a major hygiene concern.

You need to accept that as a parent, it's your responsibility to see the bigger picture and manage her behaviour.

@Totallyawinetaster my mum let me have dummies till I was 5. I had braces at 14, teeth removed at 19, braces again at 30 that I paid for myself to fix what HER actions caused.

I would have nightmares of waking up with no teeth. I hated going to the dentist because it was always a problem.

I refused to get married until I had a straight smile for the pictures.

My current dentist and his specialist colleague said the damage was the equivalent of a massive trauma to my jaw. At one point they discussed removing bone from my chin to realign my jaw.

Recommendation now is to get rid of them by 1.

You have no idea what you are doing to your daughter. She won't thank you, believe me.

Well done! Brace yourself for more battles today. They will get few and farther in between 💪🏻

Well done. I think the battle will be over quite quickly as she will realise you're not going to cave this time. Previously you have given in very quickly, so hopefully with her being older she will realise that this time you really mean it.

I’m sure there will be a few more upsets today. But you’ve done the hard bit. Didn’t know that dummies were like a trauma to the jaw as PP said.

Yay!! Well done OP you did it. Stay strong now.

Update, last night she woke twice, compared to her usual zero. Under normal circumstances she probably would have popped her dummy back in and went back to sleep, but instead she came in to our room crying and demanding a dummy.

I'll admit it was hard at 3 in the morning not to start a house wide dummy hunt just so she would get to sleep, but we held firm. She got up at 6 this morning, which is earlier than normal but I expected that. She's quite grumpy today, so I'm expecting another battle.

Well done op.

Hopefully she's so tired she will find getting to sleep this evening relatively easy. You could suggest that she listens to an audio book in bed, or perhaps she would nod off with an extra long story time?

It would probably help to lavish some sympathy on her at how sad and angry she is about not having one any more but as the dentist said they are really bad for her teeth so you can't allow it.

I know its hard work work being ultra sympathetic when they are so grouchy and angry!

Well done for standing firm OP. You've managed one night so you can maintain this... Just keep telling yourself you can, and maintain a united front with your DP. She will be tired today so just run with it and reinforce the 'big girl now' message and how proud you are that she did it. Tonight will be difficult and for a few more nights yet, but you've done it once and you can do it again. Perhaps have another good look everywhere in case there are some random dummies around and destroy any you find.

Once this is over you can also perhaps think about how you can be firm when you are reinforcing other behaviours you want to encourage in your little one. It's never too late to turn things round OP... She'll thank you for it in the long run.

Stick with it OP you are absolutely doing the right thing and giving in now would really be sending the wrong message .

Well done op! You're doing great

Welldone!
Stick with it OP you are over the worst