Bottle feeding culture in the UK

[TeenyQueen]

This morning I saw a Facebook photo of my former colleague's newborn baby being bottle fed by her older sister (toddler). I suppose it was a cute photo, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby. What I mean is not just the baby's parents but all sorts of friends and relatives. Isn't infant feeding part of bonding? When did it become a 'thing' for siblings to feed a newborn?

I have three issues with this. 1. Breastfeeding mums are still being told that breastfeeding in public is undesirable and photos of breastfeeding are censored on social media (but it's ok to have pictures of bottle feeding).

1. We seem to be moving away from this idea that feeding a baby is part of social interaction and bonding between the baby and parent.
2. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

FYI the baby was in a completely wrong position for feeding anyway and didn't look very comfortable.

Any thoughts?

There's also a really weird perception of 'UK culture'. The undertone is that this is what English/Welsh/Irish/Scottish people do. The whole post has sweeping generalisations when much of the UK is multicultural and so what on earth would the OP mean by the UK culture - very oversimplified statement.

Why do I care? I care because people tried to put me off trying to breastfeed whilst I was still pregnant. I care because in England only about 24% of babies are still exclusively breastfed at 6 weeks, and to me that's abysmally low. Low income women are the least likely to breastfeed and they end up spending a significant proportion of their income on formula when breastfeeding is completely free. Women who do breastfeed are put under pressure to switch to ff if they encounter any problems. As a nation the UK has lost sight of what normal infant behaviour is, e.g cluster feeding. Siblings bottle feeding a newborn isn't something I'm used to and IMO it's not necessary for siblings to bond. The relationships between siblings and a newborn and the primary caregiver and newborn are two completely different things. Lots of ways for older siblings to help care for a baby other than feeding them. I just find the idea of the whole family getting involved in feeding bizarre, that is my opinion.

Ultimately, not your business though.

I was teaching 10-year-olds about animal classification and talking about mammals. Only a handful of them actually knew that humans can breastfeed (that's one of the definitions of a mammal) and they thought that even saying the word ' breastfeed ' was disgusting. That would not happen in Scandinavia.

TeenyQueen

I don’t think that answers why YOU are so invested in this though.

I don't think OP is overly invested, she made an observation and was ripped to shreds by some posters over it. Is it not ok to defend yourself or your opinion? I

She’s done nothing but tell those of us who ff, that we’ve made a bad decision.

I’m all for new babies to be celebrated by the whole extended family. DC’s were fed regularly by grandparents, aunts and uncles as well as obviously DH and I. My amazing DMil fly over from their home in Quebec and stayed for six weeks to help out. I got so well looked after. She treasured that time with DT’s.

Is it not ok to defend yourself or your opinion?

Of course.

I think OP has been judgemental at times and quoted facts and figures at others. I just wonder what makes a person so invested in what others do.

Lots and lots of posts on MN would be pointless we just replied "mind your own business".

I made myself ill trying to breastfeed my first baby because of attitudes such as yours. Even though I was convinced he had tongue tie I was told again and again by midwives and health visitors that he didn't. I pushed for a paediatric referral and when he was 8 months old (by which time I was on medication for pnd) he got a diagnosis of tongue tie. He was UNABLE to feed properly yet because of people like you judging me I nearly put myself in hospital trying to do what was "right/proper/natural" because I thought I was a failure.

I've been on mumsnet for 8 years. I'm delighted to hand you my first ever .

@Abbccc agreed, it's interesting why it's such a touchy subject.

OP that's your opinion and obviously that's fine. But there's no need to make anyone who doesn't agree feel bad for their own opinions or choices regarding feeding a baby.
Personally I don't agree with you at all and I think siblings or other family members feeding a baby is a lovely way to bond. My family and close friends enjoyed feeding my baby and I enjoyed letting them. I still have my bond with my son. Also I loved being able to feed both my siblings as well as doing plenty of other things for them. Also feeding other family members and friends babies as well.
I'm not making you feel bad for your opinion though. I respect that everyone is different which is absolutely fine. Just respect that everyone can make their own decision and should not be judged for it or made to feel bad for it (professionals do that to formula feeding mums enough as it is).

Let's turn the tables - some have the perception that Scandinavian countries are too open about nudity especially in front of children and find it weird. My point being that your country has a different perception of how things should be done? Why come into a predominantly UK based forum to tell predominately UK based posters that you dint like how they do things??

Good I hope you don't teach my child. He is much younger than 10 by the way and when asked just now where babies are fed from he just told me it is either mummy's boob or a bottle.

*god

Fed is best ... it's very stupid and offensive to tell mothers who cannot breastfeed that their babies are getting second rate deal.
That baby does not need your patronising smugness ... it need to be fed... fed is best whether by breast or bottle.

@Cherryblossomsnow you never know...
You may be surprised to find out that professional people can keep their personal and professional lives separate and follow a code of conduct. I don't criticise a parent openly even when their child is sent to school without breakfast wearing a dirty uniform (which unfortunately happens a lot).

But that is my very concern with you. You say you don't openly criticise. You come across as being a VERY judgmental person and for this I would not be delighted to have you teaching my child at all. I live in the UK but I am not from the UK either. There are many reasons why different countries do different things which is fine to discuss however some things are sacred ground particularly when it's something so personal as how people chose to feed their children. Your argument is very very weak as you are very misinformed and make a lot of generalised statements. You'd be better off knowing your subject much better before putting yourself out there to challenge a nation on it.

@Drogonssmile I don't know what that flower symbolizes, I'm guessing it's bad?

I don't care or judge how you feed your baby. I do care about the UK's low breastfeeding rates and lack of education and support around breastfeeding. You were clearly failed by HCPs and that shouldn't have happened. Your bad experience doesn't mean that other women can't breastfeed successfully.

How do you know it wasn't expressed breast milk.
You sound quite judgemental.

I love that you have typed a question into google and have just taken the first statistic that has popped up in your screen. Dear oh dear...and you teach children!?

@Cherryblossomsnow what were the generalisations and misinformation?

I do care about the UK's low breastfeeding rates and lack of education and support around breastfeeding.

Well maybe you should try to use that concern to good use. Posting on here, upsetting mums, judging others, judging ‘UK’ mums isn’t the way to help anyone.
I still think you have your own underlying issues that you should address.
If you really do care, then read the room better.

What a judgemental and ill informed post. Breast feeding did not work out for me and with my first baby I made myself feel so, so awful about it because of attitudes likes yours. With my second baby I expressed for a week and he is entirely bottled fed and has my 3 year old asked to feed him and do we have a photo yes we do because she adores her brother and wanted to be involved in his care (obviously a bit tricky so we took over but it let her feel involved and helped her bond with her baby sibling). Now my 3 year old grasps with no judgement whatsoever that some babies are breastfed and some are bottle fed and some get both. I hope when my children grow up they will be not as rude and judgemental as you.

@Cherryblossomsnow there are so many studies have been quoted on this thread showing the benefits of breastfeeding. Yes, people can choose to feed their babies the way they want but it comes across as very ignorant to state that breastmilk isn't the better, most nutritious option in most cases.