Bottle feeding culture in the UK

[TeenyQueen]

This morning I saw a Facebook photo of my former colleague's newborn baby being bottle fed by her older sister (toddler). I suppose it was a cute photo, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby. What I mean is not just the baby's parents but all sorts of friends and relatives. Isn't infant feeding part of bonding? When did it become a 'thing' for siblings to feed a newborn?

I have three issues with this. 1. Breastfeeding mums are still being told that breastfeeding in public is undesirable and photos of breastfeeding are censored on social media (but it's ok to have pictures of bottle feeding).

1. We seem to be moving away from this idea that feeding a baby is part of social interaction and bonding between the baby and parent.
2. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

FYI the baby was in a completely wrong position for feeding anyway and didn't look very comfortable.

Any thoughts?

Well you started by assuming that formula feeding is a choice for all women. Shall I keep going?....

@Cherryblossomsnow, no I didn't. RTFT

My daughter had a suspected critical illness which could have meant she died at a month old or faced living with a severe chronic condition. Whilst the doctors were doing hundreds of blood tests, scans and other tests they moved her from breast to a specialist formula milk to rule out some issues. By the time she was given the all clear months later my breast milk supply was gone.

I used to feel horribly self conscious and embarrassed about feeding from a bottle because of holier than thou judgmental people like you OP. Whose business is it of yours, FFS?

There’s been rather a few posts here with an unpleasant tone that because the op is from a Scandinavian country she can’t have an opinion on uk breastfeeding rates and cultural understanding. Breastfeeding rates in the U.K. are embarrassingly poor when you look at how many women want to breastfeed. Lower than the US where there is no regulation on formula advertising and no paid maternity leave. We’re not talking about women’s choices here, something is unique in the U.K. It’s a women a health issue and of course it’s important for infant health. No one in their right mind thinks their child will go to Oxbridge and live to 100 because of breastmilk, but it’s the biological norm, it’s optimal, it’s much lower cost for the individual and environmentally. Why act like it’s some weird perversion to want to explore why so many U.K. women don’t end up feeding their babies how they want to? Seems like a lot of the anger is directed in the wrong places.

No problem with exploring rates of different feeding methods. The issue is the OP refusal to accept others might prefer for whatever reason to use ff and this doesn’t mean they have provided a second rate start in the lives of their DC’s.

Honestly, attitudes like this are what contributed to my PND twice,

5 mc
2 IVF - 1 successful
Loss of a twin at 10 weeks
Pre eclampsia at 32w
Baby 4lb 11oz
No milk arrived and baby couldn’t latch.
Bottle or SCBU

Smug and preachy. Don’t. Not unless you’ve walked in those shoes. Your attitude is what helps sustain the ‘BF Nazi’ label

My thoughts are that it’s really none of your business.

Some women choose or have no choice but to bottle feed. They don’t need people like you casting judgement or making assumptions about them or their ability to bond with their baby, certainly not based on a Facebook photo!

I don’t see any harm in letting children know that formula exists as an (admittedly not as good but still perfectly fine) alternative to breast milk and that there is no shame in using it.

Apparently you would prefer that children (if they know about formula at all) are taught to look down on women who use it, just like you do, instead of learning to respect other people’s choices and lifestyles.

@squirrealfriends please quote me when I have said that? - you will struggle as I have not said that.

@Parker231 I'm know parents who use formula can still provide a fantastic childhood for their children, in that the grand scheme of things, nutrition as a baby is only one of many things we can do as parents to help our children live healthy lives.

You don't believe formula is second rate but in terms of nutrition it doesn't match up to breastmilk. That is not a judgement, it is a fact. I don't really care how you feed your child, the reason I got involved with this argument was due to the fallacies I was seeing around formula being "just as good" and that the benefits of breastmilk were negligible at best. This is untrue, there is a reason formula companies can't advertise and there is a reason why the NHS recommends breastfeeding.

@squirrealfriends the earlier response you responded to was not in answer to your question. It was answering the Ops question.

You are saying that I stated that breastmilk is not the best option. Please quote me as I have NOT said that. I am yet to express a view on what is better between breast, bottle or both. In fact I have held back my view on this VERY intentionally.

@Cherryblossomsnow you never said it outright but I inferred from when you accused OP of not knowing her subject (benefits of breastmilk). You also criticised the choice of study implying that you did not believe it.

I also don’t think that the parents were trying to help the older sibling “bond” by allowing them to feed the baby. My toddler tries to hold his baby sister’s bottle because he likes to do things he sees me doing. It’s cute. That’s all.

I know a lot of busybodies like you who are for some unknown reason, weirdly overinvested in other women’s feeding choices even though it doesn’t affect you in the slightest. It’s funny that you only care what the children eat when they are babies! I don’t see you getting involved in when the children are older and stuffing their faces with junk food!

@Peapod29 the reason people have reacted is due to some of the very unfortunate comments from the OP. Many many unfair assumptions and statements that are offensive to some. She can explore all she likes but she needs to be sensitive at the same time. It's like me going into Saudi Arabia and telling them they don't treat women as well as I think they should.

@sqirrelfriends nope you are wrong. Very wrong.

There are pros and cons of both bf and ff - both provide an excellent start in life. Luckily in the UK we have a choice. There is masses of material around about bf and ff - just leave parents to make their own choice without forcing opinions and judgements on them - it’s not helpful. End of story - fed is best.

@sqirrelfriends the OP does not know her argument and this is fact. She has used assumptions throughout and stats from google. Like I say I have not given my opinion on Breast, bottle or both on this thread very intentionally as my very point is it's no ones place to tell others what they should do.

@Parker231 I agree that fed is better than hungry, or a depressed mother, or extremely sore tits.

don’t see any harm in letting children know that formula exists as an (admittedly not as good but still perfectly fine) alternative to breast milk and that there is no shame in using it

Children generally know bottle feeding exists. Dollies come with bottles, bottle feeding images in the media, seeing bottle feeding in public. They are less likely to know breastfeeding exists, seeing as bf images are removed from social media, not used in soaps, less seen in public etc. Considering the low bf rates in this country very few kids will even see siblings bf, let alone realise it’s normal.

I find it interesting that the Uk has lower bf rates than the US, similar culture, but which doesn’t have the maternity leave we do, 6 weeks i think is normal?

Don’t follow that persons feed anymore !!! They don’t need a friend who posts like this

Agreed. Most Children in the U.K. will probably reach adulthood never having seen a baby being breastfed IRL. I remember a friends kids being completely fascinated by me breastfeeding, they wanted to come right up and look as though it was a circus act!

I think we have generally poor post birth care here in the U.K. compared to many countries. That’s another factor.

Oh god! Here comes the Fed is best brigade......
No actually breast milk is far more superior to an artificial milk and always will be

@MondeoFan incredibly offensive to those that can not make a choice on this matter.

What’s wrong with fed is best? It’s up to the parents to choose between bf and ff and ensure their DC is fed properly. It’s not for anyone else to impose their judgement on them.

@bluebluezoo I think you're right, it's rare to see a little girl breastfeed her baby doll. My friends little one who was breastfed herself even uses a bottle on pretend play. It's just the way it is.

I think a lot of work needs to be done on normalising breastfeeding, I found it very awkward having to breastfeed my baby around certain friends because they couldn't help but comment or tell me that formula was the same anyway, how they were fine, their DC were fine etc. I agreed with them because obviously I wouldn't want to upset them but I never prompted any conversation on the subject. It was like the act of me breastfeeding made them justify formula even before they had DC of their own and even though I hadn't said anything on the subject.