Bottle feeding culture in the UK

[TeenyQueen]

This morning I saw a Facebook photo of my former colleague's newborn baby being bottle fed by her older sister (toddler). I suppose it was a cute photo, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby. What I mean is not just the baby's parents but all sorts of friends and relatives. Isn't infant feeding part of bonding? When did it become a 'thing' for siblings to feed a newborn?

I have three issues with this. 1. Breastfeeding mums are still being told that breastfeeding in public is undesirable and photos of breastfeeding are censored on social media (but it's ok to have pictures of bottle feeding).

1. We seem to be moving away from this idea that feeding a baby is part of social interaction and bonding between the baby and parent.
2. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

FYI the baby was in a completely wrong position for feeding anyway and didn't look very comfortable.

Any thoughts?

Why do you care so much? I never understand how people can get so worked up about infant feeding.

Because the fact that the culture and rates are so different in the UK than elsewhere shows its partly political.

You sound like a judgemental and patronising person. This is very spiteful!

Oh and fwiw I breastfed... most people don't actually care how others feed their babies (as long as they do so safely).

There are big pluses and minuses with both bf and ff but it doesn’t matter which you choose as there is no difference as they grow up. DT’s are 20 and solely ff - their cousins are the same age and bf - you cannot tell which were bf and which were ff.

I don't think it's for anyone to judge what and how a mum decides to feed her baby. It's a bonding thing, yes - and it's nice to share it with those who are close- be it your best friend, partner, whoever!

Opinions like your OP is why so many new mums are ridden with guilt over the whole - can I, should I, what will the other people think... who cares!!!! I don't really understand what's the purpose of your post- to gain agreement from other people or for them to prove you're wrong?

Why does it matter to you? Do what you want to do with your own baby and let others do what they want. A photo on Facebook is hardly an insight into the lives of these people. Stop being so judgmental.

The breast vs bottle debate rattles on and it pisses me off. I have one woman on my fb who is so vehemently, aggressively pro breastfeeding she writes daily posts about it, shares photos and basically insinuates anyone who chooses to bottle feed is abnormal.

Just leave each other alone and concentrate on your own lives, families and choices.

What a ridiculous OP.

You sound like a judgemental and patronising person. This is very spiteful!

"Sound like"?? She IS a very judgemental and patronising person.

Actually there is a difference or it wouldn't be promoted by WHO, NICE and practically every other health body.

Whilst it is absolutely the choice if the mother how to choose to feed her baby, comments such as "The benefits of breastfeeding in the UK are negligible" are simply not true and shouldn't be used to "justify" formula feeding.

We cannot argue that there are a huge amount of advantages to breastfeeding, both for mother and baby.

Just the other day I was discussing with my midwife the benefits of reducing the likelihood of certain cancers in the mother and extended breastfeeding. Personally for me, that is a very big advantage and one especially close to my heart (my mum was diagnosed with an aggressive gynaecological cancer at a very young age).

That's not to mention the many, many benefits to baby that have been proven to continue well into adulthood.

Again, whilst it is absolutely every mother's choice to choose how to feed their baby, I do believe this should be an informed choice for all.

@RainMinusBow @MiddlesexGirl I agree, unfortunately you have to pretend the benefits don't exist, or else you might make someone who formula feeds upset.

Nobody has suggested that you can just look at an adult and be able to say what milk they had as a baby. It's not about that.

What a toxic attitude! Stop the mum shame.
Bottle feeding and the motion to further normalise breastfeeding are completely separate things.

I actually don't think we live in a pro bottle feeding country. I think we are generally pro the idea of bfing but that many people for many reasons go on to bottle feed. The pressure to breastfeed is immense, people ask you if you will when you're pregnant and then aftercare is all about getting you bfing (even if subsequent services are hit and miss).

I am still breastfeeding at 12 months and honestly it isn't always this magical bonding experience. Half the time in the early days I was in agony due to a poor latch or just being totally shattered. Sometimes he was feeding so often I was bored and looking watching TV. Othertimes it was glorious and snuggly or funny and still is. I remeber feeding my DS a bottle in the first few weeks when I was struggling and really being able to look at him instead of his face being squished up agaisnt my boob and his eyes closed.

I think bf is sometimes made to be this almost spiritual experience between mother and child and sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't in the same way that bottle feeding is sometimes functional and other times bonding. Whatever bonding you may 'miss' if bottle feeding will be made up elsewhere by a loving parent.

Just feed your babies and do the best you can. That's all you need to do.

My DH bought me two beautiful pashminas (from a local Indian clothes shop) in case I was self conscious about breastfeeding in public. They were my "baby " gifts from him.. that was our plan until reality of my poor health and mw/hv disinterest in me took hold - I couldn't help them meet their bf targets do they stopped bothering with me.
Turns out, due to my failure to achieve bf, I should have used the pashminas to hide the fact I was bottle feeding- all the cat's bum faces I felt I had to endure - I was vulnerable with a newborn so yes, I felt judged for my failure. I made sure I stayed in to feed to avoid it.
Other health professionals, including a surgeon doing reconstructive surgery , sorted it where they failed to do their job properly.

There are some absolutely ridiculous comments in here by breastfeeders who have clearly made some very ignorant assumptions about mums who ff.

Did it occur to you perfect breastfeeding saints that sometimes things occur in pregnancy that mean breastfeeding would be either physically impossible or harmful to the baby?

Have you heard of cleft lip and palate?

Have you heard of mothers developing conditions during pregnancy which need to be treated with medication that could/would harm the baby if consumed through breast milk?

Well you have now, and I'm referring to what has happened to just me in my only 2 pregnancies. There's a whole world out there full of less than ideal situations that prevent a mother from breastfeeding or cause her to opt to bottle feeding.

Get off your high horses and into the real world.

@RainMinusBow @MiddlesexGirl I agree, unfortunately you have to pretend the benefits don't exist, or else you might make someone who formula feeds upset.

People know the benefits.

People do make 'informed choices', a quote that comes up a lot.

The mum decides whether the potential benefit is worth it

You will get over it, honestly as long as baby is fed. It was 1 picture that would have taken seconds, not an hour long video of have baby been fed.

@RainMinusBow @MiddlesexGirl @sqirrelfriends

It’s only the same as those of us who ff aren’t meant to mention the benefits of ff as we might offend those who bf.

@Raaaa If every woman truly made an informed choice, why the arguments on here that benefits of breastfeeding are "negliable", there is "no difference to the baby as they grow up" etc. The evidence clearly shows otherwise.

Again, whilst it is entirely the right of the mother to choose how to feed her baby, it is foolish to pretend these many benefits of breastfeeding simply do not exist.

@Parker231 go ahead, you won't offend me. What offends me is when people say there is no difference.

I loved breastfeeding, it had loads of benefits and enhanced mine and my babies life's and I never regretted it for a second - this statement is about me and my baby. This is not judgement and makes no comment about FF, why is it so controversial?

@Parker231 And ultimately the huge amount of research out there fully supports the opinion that the benefits to both mother and baby of breastfeeding outweigh the benefits of formula feeding. This is just stating fact.

My DT’s are now 20 - ff - healthy so why wouldn’t I believe I made the right decision. They might have been equally healthy if bf . I’ll never know but I had a choice and decided to ff.

@RainMinusBow it seems like your locked into the benefits, in a lot of people's eyes and experiences from what they've seen it's not clear cut that the benefits are that great and thats why they says things like what you've quoted.

As we can't make a clone of our baby's and bring one up BF and one FF we will never truly know if the feeding choice affected them.

I'm the only one in my family who bothered to try breastfeeding, am i gunna sit around and bang on about the benefits to those in my family who didn't no, do I deserve a medal, no

I can't help but notice its always BF mums that get called the names on these sorts of threads.