Bottle feeding culture in the UK

[TeenyQueen]

This morning I saw a Facebook photo of my former colleague's newborn baby being bottle fed by her older sister (toddler). I suppose it was a cute photo, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby. What I mean is not just the baby's parents but all sorts of friends and relatives. Isn't infant feeding part of bonding? When did it become a 'thing' for siblings to feed a newborn?

I have three issues with this. 1. Breastfeeding mums are still being told that breastfeeding in public is undesirable and photos of breastfeeding are censored on social media (but it's ok to have pictures of bottle feeding).

1. We seem to be moving away from this idea that feeding a baby is part of social interaction and bonding between the baby and parent.
2. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

FYI the baby was in a completely wrong position for feeding anyway and didn't look very comfortable.

Any thoughts?

YANBU about a few things - it's rage inducing that pictures of breastfeeding are censored from social media. I also don't think it's a good idea to let a toddler bottle feed a baby.

But YABU about the feeding in general, it's up to the parents how their baby is fed, whether bottle or breast or a combination. Also although I know the sort of photo you mean and agree it can make uncomfortable viewing, the parents could well have taken it in a second and then continued to feed the baby themselves. As no, it's not a great idea to let a small child feed a newborn!

Anecdotal evidence doesn't really mean a lot. My breastfed baby is very advanced- is it the breastmilk? Probably not.

Breastfeeding makes a difference on a population level and is unlikely to make much of a difference to the individual, that doesn't mean the benefits should be disregarded.

@SnuggyBuggy funnily enough I've noticed this too. I wonder what would happen if someone said the same to a mother who FF 🤔

@SpillTheTeaa They don't just promote breastfeeding they promote both

Absolutely not true in the slightest. All you have to do is look at NHS waiting rooms, go to antenatal classes etc to see what the NHS promote.

If you're bottle feeding you get told to read the instructions and then a lovely little booklet about how you've made the wrong decision and your baby will die if all these things in the first year.... just what a new mother wants.

@sqirrelfriends @RainMinusBow you're made to feel guilty from the start (read above). I never ever wanted to breastfeed, I was pushed and pushed so I did my research, apart from an apparent benefit for less colds (which in my personal experience is rubbish anyway as all the BF babies I know have been ill countless time's) the rest of it is a negligible amount, all studies that have taken place relies on mothers interpretations of infections and they knew what the study was for and therefore there are always clauses in the studies that say that because they knew what the study was for they are likely to 'rub off' certain things that happened to fit a new narrative.
As has been stated before this is simply due to the fact that women don't want their newborns to be guinea pigs and therefore we have to rely on very limited studies.
WHO look at breastfeeding as a whole, so yes in some countries where there is no safe way to make up formula BF is the best and safest choice. However in a country which has all it needs to make sure formula is made up safely its less of a need and therefore, rightly, is based on a mothers personal choice.

And having bottle and breast fed both my babies (BF for first couple of months, bottle thereafter) I actually found bottle feeding gave much more opportunity for social interaction than breastfeeding did. Mainly as both my babies would fall asleep quickly on the boob, wake up, want another little bit, promptly fall asleep again (DS2 in particular would've spent all day attached if he had the choice, alternating between feeding and sleeping). Whereas when I was bottle feeding them, they would generally eyeball me and it gave more opportunity to "chat".

Here we are...

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/benefits-breastfeeding/

I don't doubt that there are benefits to breastfeeding despite all the anecdotes about tall FF kids with high IQs and good skin.

I don't feel our current breastfeeding promotion with its guilt and sometimes misinformation is right, I don't think the ends justify the means in this case. I don't like how many mums come through the experience with loads of emotional baggage.

www.bbc.com/future/article/20170503-are-there-downsides-to-breast-is-best

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/is-breast-milk-really-best-american-study-asks/

scimoms.com/is-breast-really-best-and-is-formula-harmful/

There are some benefits to breastfeeding, this hasn’t been denied. However a lot of people, professional and otherwise feel that some of those benefits have been overstated or were causal finds during observational studies, rather than direct correlations.

Also many feel that the breast is best mantra is harmful to cases where breastfeeding isn’t the optimal choice. Again, no issue with breastfeeding here, I think it should be more present in people’s minds. But when deciding how to feed a baby a lot more factors come into play than simply insisting breastfeeding is the best and most important way you can nourish your baby.

Snuggy squirrel Yeah, being called sanctimonious and judgemental when stating facts about breastfeeding is a (very effective) way of silencing really.

Please show me the booklet that says that your baby wilk die in the first year grumpy.

@Leah00 not all bf mums get shot down.

Only the smug, chip on shoulder ones

@Abbccc if I can dig it out I will.

Just feed your baby how you want to and don't preach to others

@Raaaa what makes you think anyone is smug or has a chip on their shoulder? The only posters who seem to have a chip on their shoulder are the angry ones calling the BF mums names.

@grumpyorange Absolute rubbish re the booklet and being told your ff baby will die!

Being a bf mum I had the total opposite with my NHS Trust.

My newborn (second son) was admitted for severe jaundice at one day old. I was told that as he needed to be in the incubator under light therapy it "might be an idea" to formula feed him. I was shown to a cupboard with literally hundreds of little glass bottles full of formula.

I declined and requested a breastpump which took about a day to arrive. In the meantime I took my baby out of his incubator so I could feed him - I have since discovered the Trust does have special light therapy blankets I could have used but these were never offered to me.

I attempted to use the pump when it arrived but something wasn't quite right with it as it made my nipples bleed and I was left in agony - so much so my milk was pink. I asked for bf support. None came.

I carried on bf'ing my baby although the pain was now excruciating. He was discharged after a week and I continued to bf him for three years.

This total lack of bf support by my NHS Trust is just one reason as to why I'm having a homebirth with my third baby (I'm 36 weeks pregnant).

@grumpyorange Definitely dig out that booklet claiming those things re a ff baby-you could be owed thousands in compensation! I'd love to see it.

@RainMinusBow I wonder if you're in the same trust as me, the support in my area was severely lacking. I pointed out to midwife and HV that DS had tongue and lip tie, one said he didn't and the other said "I suppose he does, I'll get you an appointment with a breastfeeding consultant" - even after chasing this never appeared. I eventually found a drop in session, that didn't exist anymore due to lack of funding, there was nothing in my area.

I just had to crack on with it despite the reflux and my nipples hardened up eventually but this was far from ideal. When DS was about eleven months he had a fall which broke his lip tie and he breastfed a lot better from then on.

@sqirrelfriends I didn't say you have an issue with formula feeding. I said you don't need to understand why some choose it.

Oh Jesus. It was probably a photo posed for fun. I’m not saying I agree with it but honestly, it’s 2020. If a mother can’t breastfeed/doesn’t want to/needs partner to feed so she can go back to work as the breadwinner then let’s just let her get on with it.

There sadly are a lot worse things happening to children than being fed in a non-traditional way, maybe you should focus your energy on that.

@sqirrelfriends you only have to look at the thread the other day, where a bf mum was slagging off another bf mum as the baby wasn't gaining weight.
Women only start up these threads as a platform, I don't believe they are 'interested' or want to 'understand' about other mums feeding choices.

Coming to this quite late, but hey ho.

• the 1% breastfeeding at 6m statistic banded round is very misleading. That's is exclusive breastfeeding from birth. If any food is introduced (even if in medical advice) before, you fall out of that group. If you've ever given even a single formula top up, you fall out of that group. I know lots of breastfeeding mums (including me), and very few would fall into the absolute criteria. More telling is that 34% of babies are still having breast milk at 6m. That rate includes those that have ever given top ups, or a bottle of formula because mum had to go somewhere, or are mix feeding, or whose child snatched a piece of toast at some stage.
• personally when bottle feeding (as I did my first) I do think it's good to limit it in the first few weeks - only me and my husband fed our first initially. When we did give a bottle with my second, my first did 'help' because she's in the inner circle of immediate family, just like me and my husband.

EBF figures don't necessarily give the full pictures. There are several cultures that give babies small amounts of special teas but the majority of mums breastfeed into the toddler years. Their EBF rate would be zero despite all the breastfeeding taking place.

@RainMinusBow the point is it seems that the support differs from trust to trust. In ours if you didn't want to breastfeed you were treated as the scum of the earth who is harming their baby. The booklet went along the lines of

'As you have chosen not to give your baby the best start in life by breastfeeding you need to be aware of the below implications

1. Your baby has a greater chance of suffering serious infections resulting in invasive hospital treatment.
2. Your baby is at greater risk of SIDS
3. Your baby is at risk of serious infection due to sterilisation issues
4. Your baby is at greater risk of developing severe allergies
5. Your baby is at greater risk of developing severe illnesses including asthma and diabetes

*Absolutely not true in the slightest. All you have to do is look at NHS waiting rooms, go to antenatal classes etc to see what the NHS promote.

If you're bottle feeding you get told to read the instructions and then a lovely little booklet about how you've made the wrong decision and your baby will die if all these things in the first year.... just what a new mother wants.*

Are you saying I'm lying about the trusts that I have been to and seen for myself? I am telling you for a FACT my trusts support both.
Oh give over, i bottle fed and had a leaflet and it didn't state any of those things.
Please do dig out your leaflet... this will be interesting since you're making very bold claims here.

@SpillTheTeaa same way your saying I'm lying about my experiences