Can't afford a baby. Nearly crying as I type this.

[arimelda]

Honestly, HOW do people afford childcare costs?

I have an awesome job that I worked very, very hard to get. I have guaranteed potential to move up once I've completed my degree. I don't want to sacrifice my job. I'm also the breadwinner.

We only have £700 a month leftover between us after all bills have gone out. We only have one car that we share. We can't cut anymore costs unless we started eating air.

We wouldn't be able to afford the £1000 per month for daycare. If one of us stayed at home, we wouldn't be able to afford to eat.

No grandparents who can look after the baby because they can't afford to retire.

I know people talk about tax credits for childcare, but what do these actually do?

I'm nearly 30 and beginning to wonder if my financial position will improve in time to beat the biological clock...

Thank so much....

Also look at the tax credit calculator to see if you would get tax credits.

There are NO more tax credits for new applicants. It is a legacy benefit. All those on them will be migrated onto UC. All new applications are UC since December, 2018.

It's a different system and far from as generous.

Your dog food is very expensive. You could half this without thinking about it.

What is the earning potential of your partner? I would get as many qualifications as you can before you have a baby and get to a decent level in your chosen field. Since having a baby it's taking me a long time to switch my work brain back on and i still feel like I'm not on top form.

How long till debts are cleared and what's your mortgage prediction?

Just to offer a different perspective. We have a baby and rent but we live in a stupidly expensive area and I prioritised quality of life - I love where we live and love my house. I spent so much time here during pregnancy when I had a tough time and with a new born I would have been miserable if I didn't love my home. We are choosing to stay renting because the house prices are bonkers and I want to get my son into a good primary school and the catchment area is 0.2 miles 🙄

if your line of work does allow it, would you consider moving for Europe for the first a few years of your child's life? child care is government funded in a lot of countries for example full day kindergarten in austria is around 200 euro a month. obviously only possible if your line of work is allowing this so you don't take a career hit.

What you're actually saying is you can't afford to keep expensive dogs AND save up for a mortgage AND have a baby

You've posted an idle concern/rant (if you really wanted to make this work, you are already earning enough to make it work) not realizing that some people reading this have much harder choices to make

100% this.

To give a different perspective, you shouldn't feel that you must have children or that there's something wrong if you don't. Obviously you may have an overwhelming biological urge to have them but if you don't, there are many advantages, particularly financial, to abstaining. If you feel it might be societal or familial expectations that are putting pressure on you to procreate, take a step back and ask yourself if it's what you really want.

We managed with our first baby on much less disposable income than you, but it wasn’t easy and sacrifices do have to be made. You can’t have it all. As other posters, the thing I’m most concerned here is the intention to bring a baby into a house with massive dogs. This is highly irresponsible, to say the least.

One simple way to cut costs would be to get rid of the dogs, it wounds as they are not suitable to have near a baby anyway.

OP, I am wondering how recent this desire for a child is?
Because I can't help thinking that if you had been serious about it for a while you wouldn't have got two large, expensive dogs.
You don't want to have a dc before you have sorted your debt as a minimum.
Ideally you would also have completed your degree, bought a house and both have stretched your earnings potential.
I don't think free grandparent childcare is really the main issue here. There seems to be a lot to get sorted before you start having dc.

@arimelda how much do you spend on rent and in what area do you live?

People in poverty, on benefits, minimum wage etc etc manage somehow to bring their children up. You will too when you have yours. Maybe not in the financial style you would ideally like to. But you will find a way. It's what parents do because honestly, even with a plan life is never ideal.

DS is 12 weeks now. We don't have a high income but we're making it work. I'm back to work in July because that's when my mat pay stops. DS is going to nursery but my sister is a student and has offered to look after him until her classes start back. Then he'll be in nursery 2 days a week until the end of the year. DH has Monday's and tuesdays off to look after him. I've split my holidays to cover every Wednesday until the end of the year and I don't work weekends so he's in Thursday and Fridays. We won't get to be together as a family much but it's only for a few years and when we have funded hours we can reassess when we work. It won't be easy but we wanted to have a child so we'll figure it out.

You'll just have to wait.

If I were you I would rehome the dogs - not suitable around baby really. That's £600/year towards your deposit at least.

Complete your degree, get best job you can, get mortgage, have baby.

All doable by 35 I would have thought. Question is really about your priorities. You would rather have expensive dogs than family at the moment.

If you have Tibetans or Great Pyrenees’s, kids are not good to add into the mix. My friend (farmers wife) had a Pry (not working, as a pet) and she couldn’t adjust at all the little ones. Broke hearts but vets and breeders said they really need to be puppies when the kids come along to be good family pets

I suspect you need to earn more now. You've said you pay £500 pm rent, & have said you have £700 pm over after paying bills. How much can your bills be? Sounds like you earn about £1500 pm between you, that can't be right, my son earns almost that on only slightly above minimum wage.
If you both do second jobs now, or even only one of you if you're studying, then you'll be able to save to cover early child rearing years.
And once you have children, you may need to arrange it to work opposite shifts, at least some of the time.
I had my dc many years ago, but worked evenings and weekends on top of my day job pre children in order to be able to afford maternity leave. Wasn't ideal but it worked.

You’ll have two years of the full on costs, (if you take a year off) as you’ll most likely qualify for 30 hours per week (term time only) from the term after they are 3. Then obviously they’ll start school at 4, if you’re lucky and have a summer baby you’ll save nearly a year of nursery fees.

Rather than looking at it as £1k per month, actually calculate what you’ll have to pay, then bear in mind tax free childcare.

I get it - we had surprise twins, we have no family around, and both of the twins have disabilities. I can’t work properly right now and have no idea when I’ll be able to either.

You’ve chosen owning dogs over starting a family.
Fine, that’s your choice, but own the decision.

@arimelda how much do you spend on rent and in what area do you live?

She said they rent from her parents and pay only £550/month.

At the moment, nobody tiny is keeping you up half the night screaming to be fed. Nobody needs picking up from nursery, or de-nitting, or taking to the GP/dentist/nightmarish softplay party.

Take advantage of that. Use those spare hours to earn £10, or £20, or £50 more each week. If you both do that for the next year, you would have a cushion for the eventual nursery fees.

Yes, I know you probably feel like you have no spare time now, but it'll be good practice for when you really don't have any.

I'd rather just not have kids if getting rid of my dogs is the only option.

If it's dogs or kids and you choose dogs, well, there's your answer.

This is what myself and DP did.

I became a SAHM for our 2. I took evening and weekend work, and when the Dc's were older became a childminder for a few years. Money was tight BUT the bills were paid, everyone ate.

Holidays were very cheap caravans or camping. Days out were walks around parks, taking a picnic, flasks of drinks. Or a free museum. Country parks are free, and we would often spend the whole day with bikes, skateboards. I would even have to budget a couple of quid for ice-creams.

DC's are teens now and I work F/T. No childcare costs and 2 good incomes. We take them abroad, and all the other trimmings now...BUT I preferred it back then actually. Even though we can afford a lot more now, it can't compare to memories they have of what were completely monetary 'free' days out. Kids want time and attention. Plus, all those yrs scrimping are ingrained now. I watch my peers getting the bigger houses, more expensive cars and I prefer to save.

No right time to have a baby. You got to look at making changes that suits the family, else you will be forever putting it of.

I’d rehome the dog. It costs as much as a human to feed at £50/mo not including vet bills! Then save the £50/mo.

After that I’d plan on doing the degree while on maternity leave. Then you’d go back to work at higher salary. Your partner would hopefully also earn a bit more too. So by the time it came to a child minder or childcare you’d be able to pay it. You can also look into rentIng a cheaper place as well.

We could both go part time but I'm worried about losing money there and if we could afford it.

If you're modest earners, given childcare costs and the way the tax system works you may actually earn less on the 5th day of the week than you'd pay for childcare anyway. If you're on eg 25 or 30k, dropping a day will probably cost you no more than £250 a month take home and for many people, the childcare and commuting costs for that day would come out about the same.

What does your partner earn? You say you are the breadwinner, does he/she work?

If you can rent a place from your parents so cheaply, why not stop saving for a mortgage for the couple of years that you need to pay for childcare and resume your savings once the 30 free hours kick in?