Can't afford a baby. Nearly crying as I type this.

[arimelda]

Honestly, HOW do people afford childcare costs?

I have an awesome job that I worked very, very hard to get. I have guaranteed potential to move up once I've completed my degree. I don't want to sacrifice my job. I'm also the breadwinner.

We only have £700 a month leftover between us after all bills have gone out. We only have one car that we share. We can't cut anymore costs unless we started eating air.

We wouldn't be able to afford the £1000 per month for daycare. If one of us stayed at home, we wouldn't be able to afford to eat.

No grandparents who can look after the baby because they can't afford to retire.

I know people talk about tax credits for childcare, but what do these actually do?

I'm nearly 30 and beginning to wonder if my financial position will improve in time to beat the biological clock...

Thank so much....

You say you're the breadwinner - do you mean your partner doesn't work?

I would be very wary of your dogs with a new baby in a small flat. I know you love them but surely you can see there could be a serious problem?

Are they left alone all day?

Can you condense your hours to have 1 day off a week? I have every Monday off and lose 2 days a month pay and work longer hours each day to make up for the other 2- it means I don't lose out on too much and I have an extra day with my DS every week. I used to split this with DP so we would alternate Mondays, that way I didn't have to drop any hours for money and just work extra to make up 2 days worth of hours a month.

Can you buy your parents house?

Surely the dogs will be a potential danger to a new baby? My friend’s dog one day attacked her small DD when the DD accidentally stood on the dog’s tail. My friend had always had dogs and was very careful with never leaving them alone with the DD so fortunately she was in the room. But you basically have a dog bigger than a baby whose teeth could kill that baby.

Yes, I know lots of posters will come on and say their dogs are gentle and friendly and so on, but what happened to my friend’s DD would always make me question the wisdom of any dogs in a house with small children.

I didn’t plan to get pregnant but would have made it work come what may. I can afford my mortgage, childcare, a loan I took out for house renovations, plus all normal expenses and save £100-£200 a month (which often gets taken up with emergencies like car problems of course but still means I have a little saved). I’m a single parent and teacher so not on massive wages, but can manage all of that (and I live in a nice area just not near London). To be honest though if you cost out childcare across the pre-school years, you can always take out a loan over more years than that to reduce the monthly outgoings. I calculated it with a spreadsheet and (after the 20% tax free childcare allowance) I needed about 16k to get me through to the 30 free hours stage. I haven’t needed to but if I took out a loan for that amount I could spread the cost over a longer period of time, making it a lower outgoing each month.

Most companies won't allow working from home in place of childcare

Sorry, that wasn't what I meant when I suggested it. I started working from home when DD started primary school. It meant I didn't need a childminder on those days as I was paying her a full day basically to drop her off and pick her up from school. I couldn't do it myself as the commute meant I left well before school started and got back well after it finished.

With working from home I saved a two and a half hour daily commute and I was able to drop her off at school myself which was something I hadn't been able to do before and it really made my week. I then picked her up from an after school club so I was able to cut my childcare hours at that point.

Apologies if I gave the impression I was trying to run meetings with a baby crawling around!

You take the baby to the childminders house, they dont come to you.

It's hard to say without knowing what you earn what your situation is like or will he like but if its goimhbyo be a total miserable struggle, I would wait until you are better off. Also there is always a risk of having twins etc.

The doggies need to go. They are definitely a luxury

Wow, she’s getting advised to dump her dogs without a second thought. They are her responsibility! It doesn’t sound like a small space, so she can keep them apart most likely.

The dogs won’t be the tipping factor wrt affordability. It’s the debt. Either her partner can step up and make more money or he can stay at home during the early years. He’s not pulling his weight from the sound of it.

First three years are incredibly hard financially but you are not in a terrible situation - lots of people have children in similar circumstances, and being young means you have energy and many years ahead to keep improving your career and finances. I had children at 27 and 29 in a similar situation (32k combined income) and in the long run it turned out fine because we both kept progressing our careers.

Seriously op £700 a month is loads. You just adjust your expectations. Find the nearly new sales, embrace charity shops, budget. You'll be fine. Babies don't really need much, and the only things they need new are mattresses and car seats. You get £82 child benefit every month and family and friends donate stuff (we hardly had to buy any clothes for the first 6 months). The fact you're aware of your budget and on top of it will also massively help. You'll just find you prioritise different things ( you're mate may not get birthday gifts, and you may not have many trips out but your life will change, your friends will forgive you for a cuddle with the baby and you're social life will become baby groups for a while). It won't last long. It flies.

But £700 has to include food for them and the dogs, transport etc - they only have around £100 left per month in reality.

"they only have around £100 left per month in reality."

Actually they have £370/month left.
£200 they are saving and £170 which OP says they use for various things.

It's more than a lot of people have.

But it's a pointless debate without all the info (or at least the key info) about income, expenditure and debts.

Buying vs renting
Saving vs paying off debts
Finish degree now vs putting it off
Staying in big enough property for dogs vs moving somewhere else

meh - all debatable.

What's not debatable IMHO is having a baby while also having these two large guardian breed dogs which are used to the run of the house.

You've taken these animals on (and raised them in a specific way) you should wait now until they pass away before TTC. I'm guessing that will take you to mid 30s roughly? Plenty of time to stick to your current plan then. I honestly think bringing a baby into the situation you have at the moment would be very risky.

I've got nothing against giant breeds. Had them myself - and kids! BUT the kids came first. The youngest was 8 before the big dogs arrived and the dogs were trained accordingly.

Hmm. I changed my job so I was working evenings and DH working the days. I did still manage to send them to nursery thou 2 days a week so I could do more work. Tax credits helped massively.

I'm not sure I believe people really when they say they can't afford one. What they really mean is they don't want to change their existing lifestyle.. Which is fair enough. We managed on a low income (joint of under £25k, both of us working) which going off your OP you imply you earn good money.

Oh my god this thread. Congratulations on thinking about the practicalities of having a child. And thank you for honouring the commitment you made to your dogs. The responses you're getting are appalling re your animals.

A very wise friend once told me that the best time to have a baby is when you are pregnant. You make it work. Good luck OP.
💐

Just do it.

OP and her DP obviously have significant debts/debt repayments. That’s why it’s not adding up.

OP - your DP needs to increase his income. Perfect time for a second job, before you have children and if you want to get a mortgage.

Increase income, pay EVERYTHING off the debts and stop saving, then save hard for a deposit after that.

You can afford a baby. You just can’t afford a low-earning DP, high debt repayments and mortgage savings all at once. You can fix some of the things so debt-free comes quicker.

Finish your degree so that you can get a promotion.

Put your £200/month towards paying off debts rather than saving.

Revisit situation in say 3 years and look at your position then.

If you really want children you may need to look at having children first and buying a house later when they are in school and your career is further along. There's a lot to be said for the flexibility inherent in renting and it could be useful when looking at school applications and so forth anyway.

You get SMP for the first 9 months, then free hours from when the child is 3.
So there is such a small amount of time to find extra money for childcare.

27 months in total.

It’s a blip in the hopefully long life you should live.

Buy a house, have a baby, mortgage is nearly always cheaper than rent and you can stop worrying about putting money in savings for it then too.

If your husband is the lower earning the most sensible option is for him to go part time or SAHP.
No need for you to give up what you’re working for.

Really?

Get rid of the dogs? They are part of the family, not throwaway toys

Some people have no heart.

Hmmmm you're all going to be amazed by this but after childcare fees/mortgage/bills all been paid I have only £200 to live on. If I can manage anyone can. True I have no Emergancy money and I'm even expecting baby number two. But it's not forever and my funded childcare is finally starting to phase in slowly. We both work full time and run two old cars and I have crazy council tax charges. We bought a modest 3 bedroom house but in a nice area making us band G

How many year left of your degree? I timed my baby to arrive at the start of my degree because student finance pay for childcare. When I finish my degree he will get the 30 free hours childcare then into school.

What breed exactly are the dogs, OP?