Can't afford a baby. Nearly crying as I type this.

[arimelda]

Honestly, HOW do people afford childcare costs?

I have an awesome job that I worked very, very hard to get. I have guaranteed potential to move up once I've completed my degree. I don't want to sacrifice my job. I'm also the breadwinner.

We only have £700 a month leftover between us after all bills have gone out. We only have one car that we share. We can't cut anymore costs unless we started eating air.

We wouldn't be able to afford the £1000 per month for daycare. If one of us stayed at home, we wouldn't be able to afford to eat.

No grandparents who can look after the baby because they can't afford to retire.

I know people talk about tax credits for childcare, but what do these actually do?

I'm nearly 30 and beginning to wonder if my financial position will improve in time to beat the biological clock...

Thank so much....

When people say 'get rid of the dogs' it means they are looking at the practicalities of two large dogs, possibly confined space and a small baby. This is not being heartless, but practical.

If the OP wants to keep her dogs which is understandable, she needs to ensure that wherever she lives with a small baby as well, is safe.

My advice though would be to complete her studies and be in a better earning position which means in any eventuality in the future she will be more likely to have a higher income. It will also help when applying for a mortgage. Put having a baby on hold until that time.

I mean, most people just take the plunge and find a way to cope if they really want a child. I don’t quite understand the level of angst. You’re only 30 as well so have a few years of strong fertility ahead of you so I wouldn’t fret. Finish your degree first and see what happens 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you really want this then given you have no commitments both could get a second job to clear the debts.

Just going for it is madness. If you can’t afford it jointly how would you manage if your were to split?

You can’t have it all. If you get into debt, decide to study and the cost/loans that come with it and don’t get onto the housing ladder for years then all those decisions have an impact.

If I had two dogs I would have not have been able to afford kids either!! Dogs are not disposible but can br given away for adoption to a family who CAN afford them...

Get rid of the dogs? They are part of the family, not throwaway toys

No-one has suggested dogs are throwaway toys. But they are animals who would transfer their affection to the next person who feeds and houses them.

We're just suggesting that the OP might want to prioritise a baby over an animal if she's as desperate for a child as she says she is.

It’s so frustrating and crazy that they don’t make it easy for people who want to work! Instead they give handouts and benefits to people who don’t work and decide to have kids! Makes me so angry. I had the same issue as you and decided to stop working after my second dc because my salary wouldn’t cover their daycare. But I don’t have much advice as my dh was able to support us. We also have no family to help. So I decided to stay home as I wasn’t going to pay to work! Don’t love work that much!! lol.

Could you move to a less expensive area to save on rent?

OP “can’t afford” DC because she and her DP have debt, her DP is earning v little and they have expensive pets.

And they're putting money in savings for a mortgage, and she's a student.

Choices.

Just do it. I got pregnant and it wasn't planned (contraception failure). I don't think we would have ever made the decision for ourselves. It's too big and daunting, expensive and not practical. But it's the best thing that ever happened to us. You find a way somehow and ends just meet.

I’m not advocating anyone having children they can’t afford, but the age old ‘there’s never a right time’ springs to mind.
It will be a case on compromising/re-prioritising things.

Mamabear12 - true. I know a CEO of a software company who's created a nursery in their office to attract the most committed and loyal workforce you can possibly get But that's in Germany. And it's pretty rare. Sigh.

Just do it.

I don’t know why anyone would advise this in OPs circumstances. If she was 35+ then yes- I could understand but she isn’t even 30, and it’s really not a case of “the time will never be right” for her. If she sticks to plan (pays debts, qualifies, buys house, marries DP) then it’s incredibly likely the timing will be perfect for them to have a baby in pretty ideal circumstances. Why on earth would anyone advise her otherwise? making smart decisions about when to have children massively affects how their and your life turns out.

I totally would. Time waits for no one, and time/youth is more important than money in these circumstances, in my opinion.

If it was poverty situation I'd say deal with that first, but it's not poverty at all and seems well above minimum wage level. Becoming more frugal and more clever managing time and money is something that many parents have to do. Many become more responsible and resourceful than they have ever been prior to becoming parents.

I'm sorry I haven't read the full thread but I just wanted to say obviously it is sensible to work these things out in advance I think sometimes you can think too much into it, if you wait for the right time you might be waiting forever sometimes you just have to go for it and things work themselves out.

You could always make a plan to revisit the baby plan in 3 years. you’re, at most, 29 now so that brings you to 32 max, still well early enough to start TTC. But you’d have 3 years of clearing debts, building savings, hopefully have qualified and both be earning more. So even if you haven’t bought a house or cleared all your debts you’d still be in a much better position to have a baby than you are now.