Can't afford a baby. Nearly crying as I type this.

[arimelda]

Honestly, HOW do people afford childcare costs?

I have an awesome job that I worked very, very hard to get. I have guaranteed potential to move up once I've completed my degree. I don't want to sacrifice my job. I'm also the breadwinner.

We only have £700 a month leftover between us after all bills have gone out. We only have one car that we share. We can't cut anymore costs unless we started eating air.

We wouldn't be able to afford the £1000 per month for daycare. If one of us stayed at home, we wouldn't be able to afford to eat.

No grandparents who can look after the baby because they can't afford to retire.

I know people talk about tax credits for childcare, but what do these actually do?

I'm nearly 30 and beginning to wonder if my financial position will improve in time to beat the biological clock...

Thank so much....

Hang on a minute did you say you aren't 30 yet? save like mad for a couple of years than review

If you want a baby then you’ll manage. If you wait until you can afford it, you never will

I wish people would stop saying this...yes ok there is probably never a perfect time!! BUT that being said:
Finishing your degree, working a few years and getting a house/mortgage sorted is BY FAR a better position than a LACK of all those 3 things!! And that is a fact!! Trying your best to be in the BEST POSITION POSSIBLE is all we can do, and I think OP could do all that over the next 2-4 years and still be at a good age to have dc!!

have not RTFT but

downsize your home or relocate somewhere cheaper
give up one of your cars and/or use public transport
shop at a cheaper supermarket
switch energy providers etc
use a childminder instead of a nursery
remember you get child benefit and possibly tax credits
see if your employer does childcare vouchers

above all, you aren't even 30 yet, there is still time. Start by making some lifestyle changes and putting money away.

I am sorry that you are upset, but honestly, you can become a mother with a plan in place!

Focus on clearing any debts you have (you know this, it's the logical thing to do)

Then, when the rental is up for renewal, move to a cheaper place to save up money. Put up living in a not as nice place with not as nice finishes if it means having a few quid left at the end of the month.

Do continue to study to complete your degree - in the space of a couple of years you will be getting better paid jobs or access to better paid jobs.

You're only 30, so you have plenty of time left. I became a mother for the first time aged 36. Plenty of women are having children after their 30s these days, it's not the end of the world!

Also, if you plan for a couple of years, and then have a child, hopefully you will have built yourself a bit of a financial buffer for childcare costs, and maybe even one of the grandparents might then already be available to look after the little one once a week if they're retired. From age 3, the free 30 hours kick in!

There are things you can do to help with costs of childcare, as the PPs have outlined. But also, consider doing condensed hours at work, for example.

Resist the temptation of buying all new stuff for the little one as well: I've done very well from presents from relatives and friends, and plenty of "nearly new" Mum 2 Mum sales. You'd be surprised at how good quality clothes and toys are!

Take a deep breath! :)

Dh and I work full time (I work compressed hours over 4 days, saves £200-250 a month on nursery). We are in a nice part of the SW. with tax free childcare (youngest is 2, oldest is in primary), we pay about £550-650 a month for nursery. We have never had family help. We do everything ourselves. It’s really not a big deal.

It is very worth finishing your degree and progressing your career now and between children. I was a PhD student when we had our first (so like almost no income but a lot of flexibility). My earnings pretty much just covered our nursery bill. We had our 2nd 4 years later and when I went back to work after that mat leave my salary was double what it was after the first. Covering nursery is not a struggle now. Dh’s salary is also about 3x what it was 7 years ago too. A lot can change in not many years, particularly if you are just starting your career, particularly if you have a bigger age gap (5 years between ours).

My friend is a single parent (her partner literally packed his things one day when she was pregnant, left and she’s never seen him again). It’s been hard on one income but she’s managed. You’ll find a way.

You can’t afford to have a baby yet you say you won’t get rid of the dogs to save money to have a baby? I guess you’ve answered your own thread really, having a baby isn’t really that important to you, you’d rather have the dogs than a baby.

OP said choice made higher up thread. Dogs rather than kids. And that's fine.

The two dogs must cost a lot to keep.
Are they more important to you than having children?

I appreciate that to some people the dogs are part of the family. But would you be prepared do sacrifice the dogs if it meant you could afford a baby?

If we had waited til we could afford it we never would have had any. We are super skint but we get by. We can't afford to save.

Should have read the whole thread - I see you are prioritising dogs over children. Your call, and your choice. You can't be that desperate for a baby though!

You've said you have potential to move up once you've completed your degree.

What's the rush?. Just wait until you are earning enough to afford a baby.

Going into into it planning to rely on state benefits is not a good idea. What If the benefits change?

Just wait a couple.of years.

I was 35 when I had DS1. DH and I saved up for a year so we had a cushion when I went on maternity leave. But I never went back to work. Am now 40 with 3 DC (no more will be coming). I gave up a job with a salary of £65000. But DH has been promoted twice in those 5 years. I am more careful with money and spend far less than I did when I worked- I actually cook now and don't need all the work clothes I used to buy. I also cut our bills by looking around for better deals. Ds 1 is at school, DD is about to click in to free nursery and Ds2 is a baby and at home all day with me.
I'd say we are £30, 000 down annually on my salary with DH's promotions taken into account. But we spend about £7,000 a year less and our quality of life is so much better than it was.
Save up a 'cushion' for when you are on maternity leave.

@Angelw

Have a look here for some actual data.

(hint, compare the live birth rate for over 40, with that for under 35)

Factor in Twins???

You can afford a baby. You're choosing to prioritise other things like expensive dogs. We all make our choices i guess. But you can't moan about it when you're actually in a very privileged position because you can't have everything you want right now.

I would try to buy a house first if at all possible. Renting with children can be difficult and mortgages are usually cheaper than rent.
I would also try to save as much as possible to cover childcare for when it happens. That said, you can't plan for every eventuality. Sometimes you just have to crack on with it and see what you can do or what else might fall into place closer to the time. There is rarely a good time to have a baby. If you want one, then go for it. It might not happen right away. I can't believe that you only spend £100 a month on food for the two of you though! How do you manage that?

Op, how much do you both earn? The numbers you post would indicate you're either both very, very low earners, or there is a very large debt there? How much is the debt repayments monthly? Or is your partner below min wage?

How long will you be paying the debt off it this is the main issue?

It's no good crying OP. If you want a baby you need to save up. That means looking at current outgoings and deciding if you need all of them.

For me the dogs are the obvious unnecessary expense. But I don't like dogs. I also don't think dogs and small children mix. But if you disagree and want the dogs then you don't want a baby enough. That's absolutely fine. But no good crying because you can't have everything.

OP, you can moan and you should.

It's a bit of a national disgrace that two working adults can't afford one child.

Posters claiming having pets is preventing you because of the expense... cos a can of dogfood costs as much as a nanny, of course.

you have 2 attack dogs that you treat as mates
I'd be worried they'd treat the baby as dinner

Don't panic - look at the figures and work out what's achievable. You will get paid maternity leave and though it will be less than your salary it can be cheaper to be at home with a baby than out at work. You can work out how much you would get using the gov calculator (though your employer may offer additional benefits).

www.gov.uk/pay-leave-for-parents

Also look at the tax credit calculator to see if you would get tax credits. Make sure you include in estimated costs of childcare - even if you are on a decent income you may still get childcare contributions.

www.gov.uk/tax-credits-calculator

If you are each earning under £50k you will get £20.70 per week child benefit for your first dc.

And keep in mind that when your dc is 3 to 4 they will get 30 hours a week free childcare. You can still claim tax credits for additional childcare if you need it. Likewise when they begin school.

Speak to HR and find out if you could do compressed hours when you return to work, which would take a little pressure off the childcare. Your dp should also do this.

And if you do become pregnant go to nearly new baby sales - dcs grow out of things so quickly you will find fantastic clothes and equipment there for next to nothing.

Good luck!

it is hard, if you take 9/12mths mat, then most people only have to pay full childcare for 2yrs as will get 15hrs free childcare which will help when are 3

unless have another child then starts again .........

My god I don't think I have ever met anybody whose rent is only £500pm! That's amazing and I doubt a mortgage repayment would improve on this as a monthly cost....

Our mortgage is £300 per month. Rent on a similar property is £400.

Not everyone lives in stupidly overpriced areas!

It's a bit of a national disgrace that two working adults can't afford one child.

When you have debt, two large dogs and are also saving for a mortgage, you probably can't afford a chid.

You make your choices. OP chose a lifestyle that meant they got into debt. Then they chose to spend money on two large "guardian breed" dogs instead of putting the money they'd save into paying off the debt.

You need to work on getting rid of your debts. Martin Lewis money saving blokie always says pay debts before thinking of saving - especially now while savings have such poor interest rates. Can you transfer your debt onto 0% credit cards and work to clear that. You save a ton of interest that way.

The doggies need to go. They are definitely a luxury. Think about what phones you’re on - can you go SIM only, way cheaper? Can your partner get a bike off FB or Freecycle? Home phone? Think about moving supplier, ditto fuel and insurances.

I regularly check our stuff and negotiate lower or move if it is not competitive
Is there any freelance work you or your partner can do? I bet if you listed everything you’re spending people here would find savings for you.