Can't afford a baby. Nearly crying as I type this.

[arimelda]

Honestly, HOW do people afford childcare costs?

I have an awesome job that I worked very, very hard to get. I have guaranteed potential to move up once I've completed my degree. I don't want to sacrifice my job. I'm also the breadwinner.

We only have £700 a month leftover between us after all bills have gone out. We only have one car that we share. We can't cut anymore costs unless we started eating air.

We wouldn't be able to afford the £1000 per month for daycare. If one of us stayed at home, we wouldn't be able to afford to eat.

No grandparents who can look after the baby because they can't afford to retire.

I know people talk about tax credits for childcare, but what do these actually do?

I'm nearly 30 and beginning to wonder if my financial position will improve in time to beat the biological clock...

Thank so much....

How much do you earn? Surely as a financial controller it’s at least £50k? I assumed at start you were in London but with rent of only £500pm I think you must be burning money!

What's with the obsession with the dogs? Most childminders are based from their own homes surely so it makes no difference? Why would she get rid of much loved pets just to save £50 a month?

You mentioned that you have guaranteed potential to move up in your job after completing your degree so concentrate on your degree (would be very hard to study with a baby), get promoted and then look at your finances again before trying to conceive.

Also do you still need to complete your degree OP?? You really need to get a lot done first and stop the baby brain!!
Finish your degree, work your way up in your job, get your mortgage and house!! DON’T have a baby until you are in the best position possible!! It’s common sense really

SINCE WHEN do you need a mortgage to have kids.
MN class based sterilisation program!!

Only a privileged portion of the population can afford to own their own home nowadays. It's not the 1970s.

Are they the ONLY ones allowed to breed!

Outrageous is the politest word I can think to describe this opinion.

In reality, when people want children they all have to change their priorities.

At the moment you want big expensive dogs, to pay off your debt, to buy a house and to have a baby. In that order. If you want a child something will have to change unless you significantly change your income - that is the reality people face.

You've decided big dogs are non-negotiable. No one should have children and debt if it can be avoided. So, use the house savings to pay off your debt and forget buying a house.

That should shorten your time frame and give you time to train the dogs.

I had my babies at 19 and 23yo.

Between us DH and I earn about 60 grand a year for reference. Can you tell us what you earn?

We have three children under 5, none at school, and zero childcare from family. We also have two cats, two cars and a (UK) holiday a couple of times a year. It's doable if you want it to be.

Work less is, weirdly, the answer. I work three days a week and DH works 4. There are only two days a week we need nursery. One child is fully funded at nursery because he's over 3 and we are paying for one which is about £450 a month for two days a week. I'm on maternity leave with the third.

DON’T have a baby until you are in the best position possible!! It’s common sense really

Of course everyone needs to think about financial circumstances but not everyone can be a home owner. What’s the alternative, waiting until you’re 40 and need in IVF and risking your health?

OP- I’m sure you can find a way. Most people do.

Honestly OP- time is on your side here. In your shoes I would make a plan as follows.

1. have your partner look at increasing his income

2. see if you can reduce your interest on any or all of your debts. Switch to 0% credit cards if possible. Get credit union loan to pay off as much as possible

3. pay any and all spare money into clearing debts. Live as frugally as possible and make clearing debts your one and only focus.

4. assuming the £200/month is going into a help to buy ISA? Keep going with that- the 25% top up from govt is worth it. If it’s not going into a help to buy ISA then stop saving and pay it all into debt repayment including what you’ve already saved for mortgage. The interest on debt will cost you a lot more than any interest you will make in a savings account. (Except help to buy ISA)

5. once debts cleared pour everything you were paying on debts into deposit savings. By this point you will have already formed great frugal living habits and the figures won’t change so you won’t feel the difference. You’ll possibly have qualified by then and have an increase in salary too. (Pour the extra into deposit savings)

6. buy a house. Buy as cheap as you can to start off. Preferably where you can add value later. Rather than buying expensive with no potential.

7. get married

8. have baby.

I feel for you OP I really do. Our childcare for 1 in full time nursery was almost as much as our mortgage. It is crippling. However, the eye watering fees of early years childcare is only for a few years. Having said that, pre/post school childcare and holiday cover is still a cost to bear in mind.

Age is still on your side. Can you delay for a year and start saving ruthlessly from now?

In your shoes OP, I would forget the idea of buying a house, I mean this kindly, but you don't ear enough to save £200 a month at the moment.

I'd say priority 1 should be to get married (a £250 registry office job is all that you need)

Then put saving for a house on the back burner and crack on with TTC.

I wouldn't put TTC off until your late 30s just for financial reasons. Lots of people find themselves in that situation due to taking a while to find The One, but it is far from ideal, esp when you sound like you're ready now.

@Clockonmantlepiece NO ONE said that she MUST get a mortgage BUT she did say they were saving for a mortgage so obviously it’s a goal of OP’s...which would be made harder to achieve WITH a baby. So the ADVICE was to get the mortgage first and then have a baby.

Work your arse off for the next few years. Get another job on top, do whatever you can to increase your income. Pay off debts, get a mortgage, then think about having a child. Doing it any other way is madness.

That's how people do it!

As others have said Childminder's are cheaper - mine is £35 per day compared to £55 for nursery.
With tax free childcare account the government will put in 20% so that reduces the daily amount to less than £30

(Childminder's who are willing to be paid via the tax free childcare account are like rocking horse 💩 though)

What is more important - saving for a house or having children? Paying out for childcare is only going to be for a couple of years before 30 hours etc kicks in compared to a mortgage which you can get any time. I'd prioritise the baby making

I dont have any grandparents around, my husband is self employed so watches our 2.5yr old 2.5 days a week and she spends 2.5 days in nursery at £750 a month.

Everyone I know who has grandparent help though, does still use external childcare.

Do you/ your partner have higher earning potential?

Separate to childcare (which the government could subsidise), can you afford a maternity leave?

How much do you actually earn, OP? Does your DP work at all? If your rent is only £500 pcm, AND your job is awesome, what are you spending it on?

@DCOkeford worst advice EVER sorry... OP
you need to-

1. Finish your degree!!
2. Work up the “career” ladder
3. Keep saving and get a house/mortgage
4. Get married/ have a baby

How long do you have left on your degree OP???

SINCE WHEN do you need a mortgage to have kids.
MN class based sterilisation program!!

Only a privileged portion of the population can afford to own their own home nowadays. It's not the 1970s.

Are they the ONLY ones allowed to breed!

No-one here is saying who can and can’t have babies. We are giving advice based on what is the best financial situation in which to start a family. OP is asking for advice from a financial perspective. People are advising her on what is best financially.

I’m speaking as someone who had children while renting and is still renting 15 years later. I fucking wish to god I’d known the difference it would make to have already bought before having DC. It’s so unbelievably hard to save for a deposit with DCs.

And whoever said get rid of the dogs can go suck a toe! I'd rather just not have kids if getting rid of my dogs is the only option. What sort of irresponsible and heartless person do you have to be to even think that's an option. Dogs aren't just disposable things you can throw away when they no longer fit your lifestyle. They're our best mates

Well said OP! I volunteer for a rescue and the number of dogs we get in because a baby has come along and the dogs have now become disposable is heartbreaking.

I hope you can get the numbers to work for you sooner rather than later. Some good advice here (but definitely not including 'rehome your dogs' in that!)

I would also advise growing up a bit in terms of thinking your dogs are equivalent to your kids, or equally important.

£700 a month left over is a lot to be honest though obviously if you have childcare to pay it’s not realistic. I have 3 kids hubby works during the week and I work weekends. We can’t really afford childcare and have no help (I have to pay a childminder to go to a dentist appointment generally). I sometimes do the odd evening too. You learn up cut back when you have kids. Nights out become less, food shopping gets swapped for cheaper version, expensive cars can be gotten rid off, nail and hair appointment reduce etc. Your whole life changes a lot. Once kids get to 3 they get 30 hours funded childcare so if you can manage until then it makes s huge difference once you get it.

Where do you live? More to a cheaper area if its expensive.

You're still young :) so work hard & scrimp and save over the next 2/3 years.

Many people just go for it and the rest just falls into place and believe me it does. Good luck

Oh and OP- my advice would be to look into shared ownership. You don’t need much deposit to buy a property this way.

There’s also help to buy, lenders offering 5% deposit mortgages and more. It may be a lot easier than you think!