Can't afford a baby. Nearly crying as I type this.

[arimelda]

Honestly, HOW do people afford childcare costs?

I have an awesome job that I worked very, very hard to get. I have guaranteed potential to move up once I've completed my degree. I don't want to sacrifice my job. I'm also the breadwinner.

We only have £700 a month leftover between us after all bills have gone out. We only have one car that we share. We can't cut anymore costs unless we started eating air.

We wouldn't be able to afford the £1000 per month for daycare. If one of us stayed at home, we wouldn't be able to afford to eat.

No grandparents who can look after the baby because they can't afford to retire.

I know people talk about tax credits for childcare, but what do these actually do?

I'm nearly 30 and beginning to wonder if my financial position will improve in time to beat the biological clock...

Thank so much....

@columbapalambus our dogs are perfect, but we love dogs and allow them on furniture and to sit with us. Can't see a childminder being happy with this. Also not literally just going to throw all sense to the wind and go in completely winging it - would create some sort of plan; I just meant no point overthinking it to the point of insanity.
@Princesshoneysuckle never buy treats, all our clothes are full of holes, just always seems to be a birthday, or something broken down, or vet bills etc

As for rent, we rent off my parents. Rent is £500 per month. Can't get anywhere cheaper than that without living in a tiny house that won't fit out dogs, or in a dangerous area

And whoever said get rid of the dogs can go suck a toe! I'd rather just not have kids if getting rid of my dogs is the only option. What sort of irresponsible and heartless person do you have to be to even think that's an option. Dogs aren't just disposable things you can throw away when they no longer fit your lifestyle. They're our best mates

No one can ever afford kids, but somehow we all managed

I haven't read all the replies here, however I have a baby who goes to nursery full time and wondered as well how people do it.
We are in the fortunate position to be able to afford it, but it's still crazy money!
The only thing I keep repeating to myself is that it's only temporary. You can benefit from the taxfree childcare to start with, then once DC is 2/3 you can get the 15/30 free hours. Hopefully there might be other tax credit/discounts you can benefit from? Then shortly after DC will start school and the biggest chunk of childcare fees should go.

A dog probably costs as much as a baby tbh, childcare aside. More if you bf and don't go crazy on kit! You'd obviously be EXTREMELY careful about dog and baby together.
I much preferred a childminder to nursery, having used both. And potentially less expensive.
Do you need to be renting where you do if it's in the south? How far off from the mortgage deposit are you?

@sexnotgender we do a lot of meal prep, lol. The dogs are massive so eat a lot.

Perhaps we will just have to wait til we're 35-38 when we're more financially stable. Feels risky waiting that long though.

You'll get maternity pay for the first year of your baby's life. And they start school at 4 so you'll be able to get back into work again then. That's basically what we did. It was a tight few years but being a SAHM was cheaper than nursery. I tried going back to work pt but the wage was being eaten up by fees.

You are still young. I didn't have my first child until I was 33 and my second when I was 38.

In your case could you wait until you were in a higher salary band before contemplating having a family? As a financial controller you must know that it's just not on to enter parenthood if you have debts hanging over you?

Focus on getting the mortgage first!! Put the whole baby idea to the side!! Once you get a mortgage then it may be cheaper than your rent and you will be in a more stable situation!! What age are you OP!??

@yerroblemom1923 That's a good point - that kind of slipped my mind. It is only very temporary, isn't it.

unfortunately OP as harsh as it sounds between you, you dont earn enough.
I havent figured out your income between you but it's not high enough yet.

Are you older than 35 or have fertility problems that get worse with age? If not then focus on buying a house first

I live on 800 pm to live on, inc paying mortgage. Also single mum and you have partner!
Of course you can do it.
I have two kids and don't regret a min of it.

You don't have to be rich to have kids. Plenty of people have babies everyday with no thought of tomm. (Mn feel free to attack now)

You are not even that poor!

My kids are happy and healthy.

Also, if you both work part time then you wouldn't need childcare. Him 3 day and 3 evenings woh. You 3 days and 3 evenings woh.

@onlyfoolsnmothers I suppose that's that, isn't it. We just don't earn enough so we cannot have a child. I feel it's so unfair that all my friends have grandparents who have retired or don't work, who can look after their children. Oh well. So is life

Well, guess you won't be having kids then . What did you expect? You have to make serious sacrifices when you have kids, and it's not always a guarantee that they are born and/or remain healthy. If you're not willing to compromise anything, then that's your decision. Having huge dogs lounging all over the furniture sounds like a disaster with toddlers anyhow.

I'd rather just not have kids if getting rid of my dogs is the only option sounds like you have your answer.

I would focus the next couple of years on saving hard, and trying to get better-paid jobs.

WRT grandparents- not saying your parents or any parents should feel obliged to but if they wanted to help but can’t afford to retire- one option that worked for a family member was that each grandparent provided one day per week childcare meaning the each stayed working but reduced by one day a week. Obviously not an option for everyone but might be for one or two of the grandparents in your case which would give you a couple of days childcare? Then if you and DP were able to compress your hours and do a day each yourself. It would massively reduce the cost.

You say you’re not yet 30 so you do have time.

What about those debts? Figures? Time left? Repayments?

I would def be getting married and buy a house first for security, otherwise if it all breaks down in a few years your be one of the many on here complaining about UC and that it does not provide enough to bring up their kids

Expensive childcare is only for a few years.

I went back to work 3 days per week. Don’t earn much- £12 per hour. Childcare is about £5 per hour. We have the tax free childcare account which works out great. For every £8 you put into the account you get £2 extra.

We’re still better off each month than if I wasn’t working.

ONLY £700 after the bills are paid?

How the other half lives.

You have more left over than many other people have to raise their family on. If you wait until you can afford a child, you will never have one.

I feel it's so unfair that all my friends have grandparents who have retired
The next generation is really going to be in the shit with parents who can’t retire till 70. Virtually nobody will have grandparents who can babysit.

If you're in the NW, are you sure about those Childcare costs?

Also, what's your actual household income after tax? I can't quite make the math work for me. Are you both working full time?

If so, even on the minimum wage, with that rent figure, unless your bills are very, very high, you should have more left over. From the sounds of things, you aren't on the minimum wage, either.

How much are your bills each month? How much is the debt repayment and can you restructure it to drop it? If not, when will you be free of the biggest chunk of it?

I think the issue might really be that you're trying to do too much at once - study, work, buy a house, have a child, have expensive pets....

Also, if after bills (and does that iinclude travel and pet costs?) you have £700 left, you really shouldn't be struggling to buy some new clothes.

The suggestion to compress hours into 4 days each makes sense - you would then only need childcare for 3 days - but there seems to be a combination of maths not working and too many things happening at once here.

I would reccomend you carry on saving as you are. Pay off all your Debts and get a mortgage, then start trying for a baby. At 200 a month you can't be too far off getting ready to buy.
I have two sons, one owns and one rents. The owner pays a lots less than the renter and has a larger home. The other is renting till they have saved a deposit and then will buy, get settled then start a family.
Get it all in the best order and save yourself a lot of stress.
I also agree that if one of you is going to go part time of be a SAHP then marry first.

I have guaranteed potential to move up once I've completed my degree

So wait. Complete your degree and then have a baby.

What are your incomes? With 500 a month rent, Bill's and then 700 left it doesn't sound like you have a much coming in - especially in the role you state? How long is left on your debts?