Adventurous parents, talk to me

[SunshineBabies]

I know this is very common, but I've recently had a LOT of naysayers and general doom casters relishing telling me and DH all about how awful having a baby is going to be, our lives are now over etc etc. Naively perhaps, we are hoping to find a way to still have a sense of adventure about our lives, and (in and around a routine) do some varied things like travelling and eating out / taking the baby / child with us to do all of this. I do realise so many things won't be possible, and that this is a life-changing event, but all I've heard is utter negativity recently that would have me believe the next 10 years we will be stuck at home all day everyday.

Please talk to me about the exciting or adventurous things you have successfully done with newborn / baby / toddler? E.g. has anyone travelled anywhere, been on a plane, gone on holiday, long haul, shorthaul, visited new places, weekends away, restaurants??

Any positive stories and wisdom out there?

I wanted to maintain my spirit of adventure but unfortunately both of my children were clingy and screaming! It's luck of the draw the sort of baby you end up with I think. I'm not trying to add the negativity by the way sorry! Just pointing out that you can have all the will in the world but if your child isn't an "easy" one then it is rather difficult to work around.

We flew to Cyprus when my eldest was 5 months old and she screamed and writhed the whole way. A friend of mine has been to the US three times with her 2 year old already and she hasn't stirred.

Similarly I couldn't even go for coffee with either of mine without having to stand and rock them for the entire time, but in the restaurant I work in, parents come in every day with more placid babies who will lie happily in prams for two hours!

Took the kids up Mount Snowdon at 5 years old? If you go earlier than that, we took them abroad (on a plane) around 2 years old, and frankly they've been camping since birth (well, 6 weeks old for the 2nd one).

You just need to be organised, and have a supportive partner, because I would imagine doing it all on your own would be impossible. Even now, we do 5K runs, head to the gym etc., and if they have a problem, they can call us (ages 10 and 12 now). It needn't be the end of your life, really. But we do use the car a lot more, because you can take their entire 'life support' system with you (nappies, travel cots etc.) in a way you can't do on a plane or via public transport.

I went to Paris on my own on the Eurostar with a one year old which I thought was quite bold! Was staying with friend who had all the kit.

Thing is op toddlers whine and cry and need naps. You have no choice but to go along with this or you they and everyone around you will be miserable.

Great when kids mid primary onwards you can explore with them. Before then not so much. You may prove everyone wrong though!

We have taken our 7 year old to Japan, Malaysia, USA, Canada, Jordan and quite a lot of Europe (including three weeks interrailing just me and her). It is definitely possible to continue to do things you enjoy. It's just different and harder.

I think it does help only having one though, and she is a child who is very happy travelling. She likes new things and eats everything. It would be a massive pain to do the kind of trips we do if she didn't, and you don't have much control over that.

I have a 1 yo and we have been able to do loads with him. We’ve been on road trips in France and Scandinavia, spent many weeks in the Caribbean and also various little day trip outings. We’ve been out to lunch and cafes a lot. In the very beginning DS would sleep in his stroller while we ate, and I was so nervous the first time he woke up crying at a public place But it was not a big deal at all, I breastfed him discreetly and that was fine. I’ve spent long days walking with him around the city window shopping and having coffees and I’ve enjoyed it very much.

Of course we can’t do activities like going to cinema, theater or concerts so easily now. But have done that as well several times while DM has been with DS. Our parents are far away and we utilize any visits to take the opportunity to go out as a couple.

Having a baby doesn’t have to mean your life is over! Our baby has been easy to take a long and I realize we are very lucky. But many mums I know have also managed to travel and do all kinds of things with their babies.

Btw most of the long haul travel was between the ages of 0 and 3.

I moved across the world, went backpacking, ate out, went on 3000 mile road trips, generally had an amazing life despite dd1 going on to be diagnosed autistic at 2 as well. Kids don't have to restrict your fun

We took ds out from day dot really. Its easy when theure newborns if they nap in their pram. About 1 year old and taking ds our for diner started becoming tricky because hed found himself a bedtime of about 7pm. We've been for staycations in caravans and air b n bs and had no issues (part of choice not to go abroad so far is how hot it's been here). Me and a friend I made at baby group went on an impromptu few days away with babies last year and this Easter we, babies and dhs are having a uk break and have booked somewhere with a nice garden and hot tub - once babies asleep we can all chill. Dh and I started having date nights from when ds was a few weeks old and this Christmas we went abroad just the two of us for a few nights break. Ds (now 19 m9nths) loved staying with family.

Yes you will need to adhere to babys routine to some extent but I also believe in them fitting around you too. This summer I'm really looking forward to taking ds crabbing and we for walks around the rspb locally.

FWIW dh and I feel that our relationship is better than ever since having ds. Ds has been tonnes of fun with the odd tantrum thrown in! I don't k ow why people feel the need to be so down on things to others who have yet to experience them.

Everyone said the same to me and I had to go out of my way to prove them wrong! We still have a couple weekends a month away and travel long haul, just at a gentler pace.
My dad took my little brother on a year long round the world Trip just before he started primary school which I think is awesome! You don't have to give everything up, just adapt slightly

My dd had her first flight at 4 months, by her first birthday she'd been to Egypt, Cuba, Mexico and France on holiday. But she was a very easy baby, I breastfed so didn't have worries about sterilizing water and bottles, and I just wanted to make the most of my maternity leave!

My kids now (age 6&9) travel happily and have been all over the world, but holidays have become more child centred (we've learnt that they are happiest when booked into a villa with a private pool) but they love Asia & Mexico, were going to visit friends in the USA over Easter.

Top tips

Don't expect your dc to love sightseeing - they won't care about ancient monuments! This is doable when they are babies but 5 year olds will moan incessantly.

Avoid long haul flights with a crawling baby - eurostar trains are far better at this age...

Try and book night time /evening flights so your dc will sleep for most of the journey.

Have good travel insurance and bring medicine (calpol, neurofen, good in the ear digital thermometer,etc)

Make sure the destination won't stress you out (don't take a hyperactive child with zero sense of danger to Venice!!!)

Actually, travelling with dc can open up a whole lovely new world of travel - my dc somehow find local children to play with despite not speaking the language, and hanging out in a park somewhere is an awesome way of experiencing a new destination.

DD went camping with us for the first time at 3 months! Dinner out was much easier when she was a baby as she would sleep through it, now we need to be home by 7ish really or she gets overtired and stroppy

We live in Canada and we took our son hiking up a mountain in the national park when he was 6 months old. A friend of ours took hers on a summer-long road trip across Canada and the US, sleeping in tents and fishing for their dinner. My parents did similar when me and my sister were babies but in Asia.

It kind of depends on the temperament of your baby. Our daughter is a few months old and a big screamer who wants to be held all the time so it wouldn’t be fair to take her on long trips away from home but I’m sure we’ll do it eventually!

Even if you can’t do anything “adventurous” for the first 6-18 months, you will eventually!

First time I took my DS on a plane he was 10 months and we flew from London to Sydney (via Bangkok) and we haven’t stopped there; he’s now 9 and has visited 5 continents, over 15 countries and a few dozen cities worldwide. My son loves travelling we are actually going to “backpack” over the summer (staying in hotels not hostels) and are going to travel from London - Prague- Vienna -Bratislava- Budapest -London via planes, trains and buses. We are both really excited for our trip. Your life will change when you have a baby but only for the better IMO. Xx

Kids are 7 and 4. Been to Cyprus, Dubai and France with them. Been camping loads. Lots of city breaks in the UK. Do 6-7 mile hikes with them at least once a month.

Btw we go to a restaurant every week!

There's a book I had called "kids in the wild" about this amazing crazy outdoorsy family, made me realise anything was possible if you plan it right.

Travelled to Portugal at 6 weeks, spain at 9 weeks and South Africa age 1. Thailand, Vietnam, Sweden, Italy have all followed.

Children limit you doing some things but in general the only limitation is your own attitude.

Try not to make a meal out of parenting and travel, it’s really not hard

If you’re that type of person then you’ll make it happen.
We’ve done so much with our dcs. Just some examples are -
Texas with a 2 yr old
Vegas, Grand Canyon and hoover dam with a 4 and 2 yr old
Climb up Cader Idris when youngest was 3.
My dcs have been to 9 countries and 5 US states.
We’ve been all over Wales and England for short breaks. We’re hoping to do a road trip to the Highlands this summer.
We ate out in restaurants from when dcs were babies.
We do day trips as often as possible.

Some recommendations are -
When dcs were very young, we had an early dinner and had a main course only when eating out. Dessert at home.
Didn’t do flights when any dc was under 2. It was just easier when they could colour or be entertained by cartoons. We did uk trips til then.
Villas/cottages/air bnb for long stays as it’s easier to stay in our own routine with snacks and food, as well as cheaper.
You do have to factor in naps sometimes but I just used to make sure that dcs were either in the car or a push chair so they could sleep.

Newborns are great - they are so portable. We went for so many lovely long pub lunches in the first few weeks. DS is now nearly 6 months and some things are a bit more tricky but nothing major really. My life hasn't changed much, I just drag DS along to whatever I'm doing!

My eldest went on first flight at 10 weeks old and has pretty much continued to travel regularly since then. Teenagers now and have travelled much more widely than I had at their age!

There are obviously some restrictions with young children.. but they are so adaptable and portable as babies, and if you go away regularly with them, it doesn't ever seem to be a drama.

Top tip: just go for it

We have a 3 year old and a 3 month old. We still manage to get away in the UK about once a month.

We have a skiing weekend booked in and a big trip to Indonesia later in the year where we're travelling to a few different places.

I think it's a case of timing. You get to know their routine and work with it to make things easier. You also pack ALL the stuff! But you'll never regret being over prepared!

Then it's just about adjusting expectations. Holidays and travel before kids was all about relaxation. Now it's about a little relaxation but also giving the kids a new experience. You just do different things and get different joy out it. And definitely don't expect to read many books!

We also eat out all the time, although again it tends to be earlier in the evening, or at lunchtime to suit the kids. To be honest I really like getting tucked up in bed not long after them! But you don't need to if that's not your thing!

I took my DD to Australia at nearly 1 and again at nearly 3. Most of the flights were no problem at all (the only exception was one where she was given food that she's allergic to).

It was definitely easier doing things with her when she was really tiny. I did loads of sports before I had her and up until I went back to work. It's taken me a couple of years to get back to doing things as bedtimes etc are harder now.

Have backpacked all over with mine, including as a lone parent. I had my children before my friends did, so they just came out with me everywhere.

Fully breast fed for years which made it easier. I can imagine if you are an anxious person (eg about health or germs) or ocd or don’t like leaving your children, it would be different , but I’ve been fine. Have very relaxed, adventurous children as a result.

As many PPs have said, having kids hasn't stopped us. Just adjust your expectations. City breaks, sight seeing and museums are very doable with babies but harder with toddlers. Hiking, swimming, biking is all fun, but probably in shorter bursts. We take the kids (now 6 and 12) regularly to the Alps. Have worked our way up from Airbnb with half day tours to proper hiking from cabin to cabin. We all love it.

The fun with kids is that everything is new adventure to them, so even simple things like camping in a forest can become the greatest adventure ever.

Oh, and eating out, top tip, before they turn 12-18 months, get them to sleep in the pram in the evening while you eat out. Might not be great for fine dining, but def works at your local Italian/Indian, etc.

Cape Town for 6 weeks when DS1 was 3 months. DH flew home for a week for work and my friend came out in his place. I look back now and feel like I was brave. There's pictures of me, my friend and baby DS up table mountain (this is via a cable car mind, not hiking 🤣), eating out, vineyard visits. Next long haul trip was India when he'd just turned 2, which was with another couple and toddler, and quite adventurous- huts on the beach with just a hose for a shower, tuk tuks etc. I have some amazing photos of DS covered in dirt, just having the best time. With 2 DC we did easy hotel holidays in Egypt a few times, then no long haul once DC2 was about 2 as that seemed like hard work. When DS2 was 5 we went to South Africa and we've been doing lots of travel ever since. And also travelled to Europe/round UK since both were small. We like to travel!