Dad not allowed to ask questions at weighing clinic!?

[mareylu]

I've recently started working again and for that reason my husband has to take our daughter to the weighing clinic when needed. He did it for the first time today and had a few questions about weaning etc, and I wanted him to ask a few questions on my behalf about breastfeeding.

The woman flat out refused to answer any of the questions because he wasn't the child's mother. I am absolutely livid. Is this how it's meant to be? How am I supposed to get my work done if he isn't allowed to help out (they did weigh her tbf, but could really do with someone answering our questions)? How is he meant to look after our daughter if they aren't allowing him!? I'm so confused and angry.

Have any of you experienced this? Are dads not meant to take their babies to the weighing clinic, is it for mums only!?

And who is it that actually runs the weighing clinics normally, are they health visitors?

Yes, saying stay at home dads would be redundant if health visitors didn't interact with them is hyperbole, unless you believe that the only or prime role of a sahp is to interact with health visitors.

No, but if every interaction with a HV has to be done by mum, all vaccinations have to be done by mum, that's quite a lot of time mum needs to take off work isn't it? So, no I don't think it's hyperbole. If you don't need much interaction with the HV then it won't impact too much but in instances where there are issues, baby not gaining weight or not reaching milestones or has a long term health condition etc how can the HV justify insisting they will.only talk to mum?

He can ask about weaning. He can ask about anything to do with the baby except specific questions about breastfeeding.

You'd think wouldn't you, except op is very clear, the HV refused to discuss anything with him. That's why they should complain. Because there's no justification for refusing to discuss anything.

Even if she was worried about abuse how has her refusing to interact done anything to help the situation? So according to a pp her red flags were waving and what has she done about that?.if she truly was concerned shouldn't she have asked for ops details and promised to ring her to discuss her questions? At least then she could have checked to see if a woman in possible danger needed any help. Simply refusing to speak to the dad has basically done nothing to help anyone has it?

We hace a family friend who is a windower. His children were primary school age even his wife died, so beyond HV years, but the takes he tells of the resistance he comes across with people who expect to deal with the mother of his children, and the resistance he meets as a father in this respect, are shocking.

Wow this has escalated!

@AgnesGrundy I can assure you I am not on their radar for anything, so we can take that out of the equation straight away. (Even if I was, without my knowledge, you’d think they’d be in touch by now to see if everything was ok. They haven’t.)

The questions about breastfeeding were completely generic, not relating to my particular set of breasts. I believe she should have answered them, but I see that some of you disagree. Fair enough. She should have discussed weaning with him (and if she thought it was too early to be brought up, she should have said. She didn’t.)

Since English is my second language I prefer having things run by him, to make sure I don’t misunderstand anything.

As this thread has shown, he’s clearly not the only dad who’s had a bad experience in meeting with health visitors etc. I find it really disheartening. Dads should be encouraged to be involved, she’s just as much his as she is mine.

mareylu having everything run by him will create worry if your spoken English is as good as your written. It isn't usual to have to have all breastfeeding issues run passed your husband nor to only see maternity and postnatal health professionals with him present. Did you have any midwife appointments without him in the room?

I've had two babies in my second language and with the first my grasp of the language was pretty basic, I know what it's like and unless your husband is also writing your posts for you you're no more likely to misunderstand breastfeeding advice given in English than many native English speakers.

Does your husband speak and understand both English and your language better than you speak English? Unless that's the case breastfeeding advice given in your absence and passed through an intermediary is going to be more garbled than breastfeeding advice given directly to you as the breastfeeder.