@theworstwife Yes, I've heard about some schools refusing to accept a private diagnosis a lot, too.
However, there are diagnoses and diagnoses in the private sector, there are also screening tests which some private firms carry out that some parents believe are diagnoses when in fact they only predict the likelihood of a child having certain condition(s) but they don't actually diagnose the condition(s).
That's why, as I said in my previous post, it's important to choose a team who also work for the NHS, then school and the LA cannot dispute the diagnosis.
e.g. for Gold Standard private diagnosis, the Lorna Wing Centre diagnose privately but as the leaders in their field, their diagnoses are not disputed by schools or local authorities. www.autism.org.uk/services/diagnosis/about.aspx
(They also do a screening test but are quite clear that it's not a diagnosis)
General diagnostic info from NAS www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/children.aspx
SOSSEN can help when the local authority refuses to accept private diagnoses during the EHCP process, do ring them and find out what type of diagnosis a LA can actually refuse before you go down that route.
The whole of the AN/SN/SEN diagnostic and support system is not consistent throughout the country.
The usual route when someone suspects their child isn't just 'the naughty kid' or is significantly different to their peers is to have a meeting with the SENCO - ring the school and ask for one- ask them to observe their child at school and put it in writing, make a list themselves of their child's different behaviours then see their GP with SENCO's letter and their own observations and ask for a referral for an NHS assessment of any AN the child may have.
Simple, what can go wrong with that?
Well... each individual school is staffed with humans who have their own ideas on what AN/SN/SEN really look like and what help they may or may not provide. Many SENCOs are sadly very lacking in their knowledge and understanding of AN/SN/SEN and they will "see nothing" and infer the parent is mistaken/making excuses for a lazy kid/is a helicopter parent or is overbearing/has Munchausens by Proxy or whatever its modern name is now.
Many schools are atrocious in providing any help for pupils that need it. Some punish pupils for displaying behaviour specifically related to their diagnosed AN.
Some schools are absolutely excellent, have staff that understand a broad range of conditions and who will go above and beyond to put interventions into place to support every child that needs it and will work with the parents to obtain extra funding etc.
No-one knows what their child's school will be like until they start the ball rolling. Some parents are helped unconditionally, some are dismissed and their parenting is blamed, some SENCOs and other staff have very fixed ideas on ASD presentation and will tell a parent outright their child could not possibly have ASD because they can make eye contact or any of the many myths about autism, and from that totally wrong observation they refuse to help in the diagnostic process.
Some GPs are wonderful, others are utterly clueless and will refuse to refer a child for assessment because they also have a fixed idea of how a presentation of autism should look, so even with school support, parents have been turned down for GP referral because the child made eye contact or showed empathy.
The whole system for having a child referred for an NHS assessment rests on having a school who sees the difficulties a child is facing and who are willing and able to put interventions into place and who will support the parents. Then parents need a GP who is more clued-up than many to actually put the NHS referral into motion.
Generally in the UK there is currently an 18 month to 2 year wait for an actual diagnosis of a child with a fairly straightforward presentation.
Many children mask and aren't disruptive or academically behind so for them and their very frustrated parents, it can take many years for school and then a GP to actually see there's a problem and make a referral.
@lookingfortreasure it's impossible to say in your neighbour's case. It depends on the child's scores on the tests that were done for their diagnosis and on the clinicians' observations, both privately and on the NHS.
She may be an overbearing hypocrite who is making excuses for her lazy and spoilt son's deficits or she may be the parent of a child who has a very atypical presentation and needs further expert testing to unpick all the complications, whose concerns have been minimised and brushed off by an uncooperative professionals for years. Sadly that also happens.
Diagnostic criteria is skewed towards the male presentation of autism, so girls and boys who present with a female presentation can still be overlooked. Autism is a condition that's lifelong, if someone's autistic, they are autistic, but having a diagnosis certainly helps particularly during the school years.