OMG...Assaulted Somebody Today

[Momp]

Hello All,

Haven't posted for what seems like forever so I hope you are all ok.

Went to Cadbury World today with MIL, DD (4) and DS (18mths). DS started to get crabby.

We waited in a cramped and very full area to see a film, but we missed the first show as there was so many people waiting. During the next wait, DS started screaming. He was obviously tired and he NEVER sleeps in the pushchair.

Our turn came for the show so we went into the small cinema. DS was very upset so we asked one of the staff to show us how to get out. MIL would take him out while I stayed in the show with DD. Staff said go into the cinema and wait for her to come over.

This didn't happen. 5 mins into the show a middle aged chap (on his own with wife) came over to MIL, asked her to leave as we were spoiling the show for everybody. Lady next to MIL said don't you dare leave.

Man goes back to his seat. MIL goes over to him and asks if he has kids. Quite politely I must add.

I go over to him and explain that we asked someone to show us the way out but nobody helped.

I then called him a very rude man, grabbed his glasses and threw them at him! We spotted a fire exit, left the cinema and came straight home.

I am now awaiting a knock on the door from Mr Plod.

What would my fellow MN's do in the same situation?

Momp, you really do need some "me" time. From the time my little girl was a couple of months old I insisted that my dh have her on a Saturday morning, just for an hour at first, and I still do (only now I've graduated to two hours, whoop de doop). I can go shopping, for a swim,get some peace, and he gets time with our daughter. Try it - don't beg, INSIST - it's the only thing that keeps me sane! (ish).

Momp,

Have just gone back and read the whole of this thread, and just wanted to say dont feel shitty, chalk this up to experience, forget about it and move on. I certainly have done similar things when I was younger (in my twenties)eg getting into a physical fight with another woman over a parking space. A policeman turning up mid brawl rather put into focus for me how much trouble my temper could have got me into. Fortunately he just ticked us both off...but from that day forward I have made a spectacular effort to control my temper and have managed to do so.....

Thank you handlemecarefully. I'm not alone! Mind you, I shouldn't be doing this sort of thing at my age (32)!

I truly believe that this will never happen again. The support I have received here on MN has really helped.

After breaking down a lot today DH became concerned and is now OK about DS going to college creche. (At first all he could think of saying was "are you on the blob or something" - Oh if it were that simple!)

Will be going to enrolment night next week.

That is great news, good on you. Hope you have a wonderful time.

Brilliant momp i am doing exactly the same so we can watch each others progress ( and how they behave in a new creche) really pleased for you

Cheers hmb x

Fairyfly - good luck to you in your new venture x

Have failed miserably with emoticons in the past - why I can't get them to work is beyond me - so apologies for the lack of them and hope "kisses" suffice!

Momp

Havong done the CadburyWorld tour last year with a soon to be 2 year old I know the 'cinema' type exhibit you are speaking of. Whilst CW is geared towards kids there is a fair bit of waiting around and it is hard on them, my DS got in a right kerfuffle and threw his shorts in the air in a fit of rage whilst I was nappy changing him and they fell down the loo so he had to do the rest of it just in his nappy

Anyhow, back to your original question I probably would have said to the miserable bloke that CW was geared towards kids and if he could not tolerate my child crying he should be the one to leave.

As a glasses wearer I would have been really peed off if you did that to me, live and learn, live and learn....

Oh Momp, really excited for you! So glad you've got dh onside. I'm sure having some time to do something for yourself will help the stress levels.

Shortcake, yup, think people do feel sorry for the bloke (that's why I posted about how having your glasses snatched might feel) but think Momp feels bad enough about this now without pouring on the guilt. And is working hard to make something good come out of it.

Momp - My dh was a bit like yours. He said that I was farming ds out to pre-school to get more time for myself, and that I was the one who wanted kids, so why did I want to get rid of him for two 2.5 hour sessions a week. I (gently...cough) explained to him, in no uncertain terms that most people's children went to pre-school, and that it would do both him and me the world of good to be apart a little bit each week. I think that dh has no forgotten that he ever felt that way. p.s. Ds id going for 5 sessions a week from September

Forgot to say, ds is 3, and he LOVES pre-school. He has come on in leaps and bounds, especially in his speech, which was iffy. Have you considered putting your 18 month old in pre=school in a year's time?

Well, Momp, I did something not quite so bad today...I swore at a motorist in front of my DS and his little girl. And I NEVER swear.

I had driven three times around a one-way carpark looking for a space when another car shot into the carpark against the one-way system, on the wrong side of the road and in front of me. Well, I marched up to his car and said

'do you think the one-way system is for everyone except you?'

He smirked and said 'Yes'

I said 'Did you not see my indicator?'

he smirked and said 'No'

Then I said 'Well you're a f idiot!'

My DS was beside himself with glee relating this stoy to DH.

'Dad! Dad! Mummy had on her scary face and swore at a man in the carpark!'

Oh the mortification!

hi all!!
Momp, I do feel that you need some kind of counselling. A few of your posts do show that you have a problem with your anger. also the fact that your child says she's scared of you is quite telling. I am sorry to hear you are disabled with athritis, where abouts does this affect your body? does it not affect your hands? (you can drive, walk, grip glasses etc)
I do feel you have a temper problem, the fact that you took the man's glasses off is a way of making him feel powerless, this is a tactic of a bully and even an abuser.
your swift turn around and then posting about your troubles seem to also show that you wanted a more kind approach from posters also like a bully. I am not saying you are a bully, just that these are the signs of someone with that kind of tendencies. And of someone who has difficulty controlling their temper.
I am not judging you, that is not my job or place, I have made many mistakes, however it does seem you feel bad because of what mn's have said and not because you trully feel sorry, i say this because you keep making sarky comments about judge and jury and such.
I think you are quite lucky that the man didn't retaliate, a different time you might have got a rude awakening.
Our children are very precious to us and we do protect them but your children weren't actually in danger.
Please dont take this as judging or moralistic, I just am genuinely worried.
btw is momp your regular posting name? you sound familiar

momp, I am sorry that I have come to this late and therefore might not be saying what you want to hear...but I have to agree that your tactics in the face of anger were those of a bully. Removing someones glasses is like kicking someone's stick away - how could you? Hopefully this isn't the way you choose to resolve all arguments but I think you need to be honest that this is unacceptable behaviour. I find it hard to believe that you genuinely thought there would be people on mumsnet who would support your behaviour as you say.

My mother was a person who always reacted with physical violence rather than thinking about things/walking away. She justified it as 'protective' of her children when actually it just made us feel terrified and very sad. We ended up never telling her anything that upset us as we became very frightened of her reaction, which was often completely over the top. I have gone completely the other way with my own children and would be devastated if they ever saw me physically attack anyone, ever. Because of my difficult childhood I am the master of walking away from confrontation (except on mumsnet ) although I will give a bit of verbal if I am really pushed!

Life with kids can be hard and difficult, the point is that there will ALWAYS be idiots out there, you have to make the decision NOW that you are not going to use physical violence to make your point.

I really hope this thread has made you think about what you did and that you manage to sort out some of your frustration x E