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Original poster

OMG...Assaulted Somebody Today

188 replies

Momp · 27/08/2004 17:20

Hello All,

Haven't posted for what seems like forever so I hope you are all ok.

Went to Cadbury World today with MIL, DD (4) and DS (18mths). DS started to get crabby.

We waited in a cramped and very full area to see a film, but we missed the first show as there was so many people waiting. During the next wait, DS started screaming. He was obviously tired and he NEVER sleeps in the pushchair.

Our turn came for the show so we went into the small cinema. DS was very upset so we asked one of the staff to show us how to get out. MIL would take him out while I stayed in the show with DD. Staff said go into the cinema and wait for her to come over.

This didn't happen. 5 mins into the show a middle aged chap (on his own with wife) came over to MIL, asked her to leave as we were spoiling the show for everybody. Lady next to MIL said don't you dare leave.

Man goes back to his seat. MIL goes over to him and asks if he has kids. Quite politely I must add.

I go over to him and explain that we asked someone to show us the way out but nobody helped.

I then called him a very rude man, grabbed his glasses and threw them at him! We spotted a fire exit, left the cinema and came straight home.

I am now awaiting a knock on the door from Mr Plod.

What would my fellow MN's do in the same situation?

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aloha · 27/08/2004 18:03

I would have taken my child out of the cinema - it's not difficult. In fact, I wouldn't take an 18month old into a cinema unless they were fast asleep. I don't think it's fair on other people, adults or children. The supermarket is an entirely different thing. You have to buy food and people aren't trying to watch an entertainment. I wouldn't be surprised if someone complained if my baby was yelling in the cinema. It's not having a go at your children, it's merely asking you to take the noise away. Personally, I couldn't have got out quickly enough. I know what it is like to lose my temper but it's not a good thing to do, and quite unfair to attack someone for making what was, IMO, quite a reasonable request.

Original poster
Momp · 27/08/2004 18:03

I would have reported him straight away.

Maybe I should have chosen a different title for my thread - forgive me.

I stick to my defence - I cannot see that I assaulted this guy. My body did not come into contact with his.

I apologise to all that wear glasses for offending you.

OP posts:
hercules · 27/08/2004 18:03

I have a very strong prescription and cannot see anything without my glasses. Let's hope you didnt break them and he had to get home somehow...

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aloha · 27/08/2004 18:04

However, I very much doubt there will be any follow up to this incident.

hercules · 27/08/2004 18:05

Assault doesnt have to be your hand hitting his face. You must have been right next to him to pull them off and then you threw them at him. He was probably very scared.

I would also have asked you to leave although in future i will think twice about doing so incase I get a similar reaction.

suedonim · 27/08/2004 18:06

I'm really shocked at this. However annoying it is, being an *rsehole isn't a crime. But I would think that having one's glasses taken and then thrown at one is. What a terrible example to set - akin to road rage, imo.

If I'd been in the same situation, I'd either have left, silently fuming to myself, or I would have tried to explain or got a member of staff to explain.

Original poster
Momp · 27/08/2004 18:06

Can I also please reiterate that we were not in a cinema as such. This was part of a tour through Cadbury World.

We were so busy trying to pacify DS that we couldn't find an exit otherwise we would have left immediately.

Fortunately after the event we found the fire exit and did the right thing.

OP posts:
anorak · 27/08/2004 18:06

Dare I point out that if he couldn't see than it would help momp get away undetected? [sheepish emoticon]

libb · 27/08/2004 18:06

Why did you go back to him when your MIL had already spoken to him? personally I would've left it there and then. She made her point well enough.

I covet my glasses as I am screwed without them . . . .

Fairyfly · 27/08/2004 18:07

You did assault him!

hmb · 27/08/2004 18:08

I also doubt that there will be a follow up. However, I don't think that your response was right or reasonable. If someone pissed you off that is unpleasent, but it doesn't give you the right to rip a guys glasses off and throw them at him. It is assault, sorry.

If I anger a kid in school does that give them the right to rip off my glasses and throw them at me? We all have to learn to control ourselves.

Original poster
Momp · 27/08/2004 18:08

OK..whatever.

Let's just hope the police don't come knocking on my door. I think I have been judged already.

OP posts:
hmb · 27/08/2004 18:09

And you have said you were 'defending' your children, and implied that excused your behaviour. Sorry don't agree with that either.

krocket · 27/08/2004 18:10

in answer to your question momp (what would you have done/)
I would probably have been really angry with him and either said something or just left and fumed about it.

aloha · 27/08/2004 18:11

I don't understand, never having been to Cadbury World. I think moaning about a crying child if you were merely on a tour is very annoying, and you were probably very stressed with your child crying in a crowded area, but it was still an over-reaction IMO. I am sure it won't be a matter for the police though.

Cam · 27/08/2004 18:13

Sorry Momp but that does constitute an assault. Brave of you tell us though and I think you feel bad about it or you wouldn't be posting about it. Best thing to do if you get a knock on the door is to deny it but resolve never to do it again.

Original poster
Momp · 27/08/2004 18:14

Aloha, that's exactly how it was. So much going on in my head at the time - still is.

I am in no way proud of what I did - far from it.

OP posts:
Fairyfly · 27/08/2004 18:15

I understand you lost your temper don't mean to judge you, it is just that you have to find another way to react when you are pissed off. What would you do if someone behaved worse? it is a fact of life people will. Sorry if you are getting upset about this it is just completly wrong to violate someones personal space like that, even if he was wrong you should not go down to that level.

hmb · 27/08/2004 18:17

Sorry, but I find some of the underlying comments about the use of violence in this very worrying. Someone is a prat so it is OK to 'punch their lights out' or a dh saying, that he would have done worse?

Honestly I find this very worrying. Soemone upsets you so it is OK to punch their lights out? I realise not all these comment came deom you MOAP, but they are disturbing. What sort of society would we have if we all did this sort of thing?

Branster · 27/08/2004 18:17

oh dear! what an eventful day for you Momp!

I would say that it is likely the man would complain to the police about the incident (making it sound quite dramatic probably, plus there would be a lot of witnesses there). It all depends if the police want to take it further or not. I shouldn't think it would be a problem for them to find you if they can be bothered to deal with the man's complaint. However, he might not bother himself to make a complaint, maybe he was there with his mistress and doesn't want anyone to know where he's been today etc. There's no way of knowing.

If at present, you feel genuinely remorsefull about your actions, you could try contacting the police and Cadburys World yourself, explain waht happened and ask them to trace this man for you with the intention of you sending him an apology with a box of cadbury's chocolates (obviously a fan if he was there). From here there are two possibilities: if he already made a complaint against you, the police would put 2 and 2 together and take some action. If they were going to find you anyway, they (or the court if it does get to that) should be more lineant towards you because you show you care. If there is no complaint made by this man, the police might not bother to do anything about it. However, best to look like you're very sorry for your actions if you do contact the police because if it gets further it would be in your favour.

It all depends on how you feel about it yourself, are you really sorry for what you've done or are you just concerned because you might get a letter from the police telling you to go to court?

far from me to judge you. But i would imagine the man in question would have been shocked at what happened to him regardless of what an idiot he was. One thing is for sure, this man is not an MNter because by now there would have been a thread on here with the title "Viciously attacked by mad woman whils enjoying myself at cadburys World."

Hope this is the kind of answer you were looking for Momp and good luck.

Original poster
Momp · 27/08/2004 18:18

I agree Fairyfly. What I need right now is not to hear from people telling me how much their glasses are - I'm afraid that was not on my mind when I did the terrible deed.

If I can see how others would react it might help me to see how to deal with this in the future.

OP posts:
hercules · 27/08/2004 18:18

I was thinking the same hmb. Probably seeing it from the same perspective as you ie teacher.

Original poster
Momp · 27/08/2004 18:19

YES BRANSTER.....YES!!!!

OP posts:
notthecod · 27/08/2004 18:20

very wise postings from ff
but I did laugh at momps apology to all glasses wearing people!

AuntyQuated · 27/08/2004 18:20

What I need right now is not to hear from people telling me how much their glasses are - I'm afraid that was not on my mind when I did the terrible deed.

well sorry that bit has upset you, maybe it ought to be on your mind now.