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Original poster

How long would you leave your 6 month old baby with your mum for if you wanted a break?

67 replies

Naetha · 11/06/2007 19:28

Apologies for the slightly hypothetical question, but how long would you leave your 6 month old baby with your mum for if you wanted a break?

As a first-time not-yet-mum I just don't have a clue how long is considered too long. My mum very happily offered to look after kiddie-to-be a couple of times in the first few months, and I was hoping that we'd be able to get away for 3 or 4 days for a festival we always go to. Does this sound reasonable? Obviously it depends on the circumstances at the time as well, but for example, how old was your baby when you went for your first weekend away?

OP posts:

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JodieG1 · 11/06/2007 22:35

When I read the title I was thinking a couple of hours not days. Up to you really, noone can make the decision for you. I wouldn't leave my baby for days though. I've only ever left mine overnight a handful of times (literally) and eldest is 5. I don't do weekends away without my children. I've never left ds2 and he's 5 months. When I said overnight it's literally that too, we went out once they were asleep and then picked them up (from a few doors away) in the morning. This when we lived in London a couple of years ago. Only had my parents have them overnight once since living here and they have a place here now too. They had dd and ds1 when ds2 was a few weeks old overnight as dh had a vasectomy and I had severe mastitis, I still had ds2 but they really helped us out having the older 2 for the night while the antibioctis had a chance to work.

rookiemum · 11/06/2007 22:41

We have left our DS with my mum and dad a few times, although the offers are drying up now hes a toddler rather than a baby !

I found one night was nice, gave DH and I a chance to be romantic together and both have a lie in at the same time, but we did 2 nights between christmas and new year and both felt it was a bit too much.

Having said that if its something you really want to do then go for it, I'm sure your baby will be fine and its fantastic that your mum is up for babysitting, a good gran is worth her weight in gold.

cat64 · 11/06/2007 23:06

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Sakura · 12/06/2007 00:57

Yes, I agree with everyone about waiting to see how you feel. I had plans to go back to work when baby was 3 months old. Anyway, when she was 5 weeks old, I went out for a few hours to a concert that wed been looking forward to for AGES. I ended up crying and missing her so much and then thinking about whether she was crying and I wasnt there for her. It was a disaster, basically. SO I gave up the idea of work. At 4 months, I worked one evening (3 hours). Again NOT a break- I just stressed myself out by thinking about her.
But shes 8 months now, and I went out for 8 hours the the other day and I was fine and knew she was fine (breasts nearly exploded though). I got much less anxious when she hit the 6 month mark, but I definitely wouldnt have been able to go away for a few days.

madamez · 12/06/2007 01:05

I did leave DS with my parents for a weekend when he was 6 months. We had lived with them for the first 6 months of his life (I am a single parent) and I had left him with them for evenings/ odd hours. Then, a fortnight aftert moving into our new house I went away to a business event and left him from Saturday morning till Sunday evening. And it was very wierd. I knew he would be fine and happy with people he was familiar with, in a house he was familiar with, but I missed him dreadfully - until I'd had a few drinks and caught up with the industry gossip... But I was so glad to get back home to him.
See how you feel as it gets nearer the time and remember that as long as you leave him with someone trustworthy he will be fine.

madamez · 12/06/2007 01:06

Sorry, your DS or DD, didn't mean to be androcentric there.

nappyaddict · 12/06/2007 01:15

i left ds at 3 months for a week. i had moved into uni on the saturday and my parents brought the rest of my stuff down the following saturday.

hellish · 12/06/2007 04:03

really depends a lot on how you are feeding, if you are bf, ime you've got no chance of leaving for more than a few hours.
Also you may find it too hard to leave lo - dh and I had our first night out when dd1 was 1!! - she was such an unreliable sleeper, would always wake through the evening and only be settled by bf.

MrsTittleMouse · 12/06/2007 08:19

Agree with everyone else, it depends on whether your baby sleeps well, how fit your Mum is, whether your baby is comfortable with your Mum, and how comfortable you are leaving. We left DD for a couple of hours at first (did this several times from 2 months to 7 months) and then at 8 months left for the weekend. It was fine, and we had a good weekend being grown-ups again, and my Mum had fun with DD.

FrannyandZooey · 12/06/2007 08:21

I still haven't left my ds with anyone for the weekend (he is 4)

I haven't any desire to

you may find you feel the same after your baby is born

jenkel · 12/06/2007 08:27

Left my daughter with my mum when she was 6 months old for 3 nights. DD was really good at sleeping at night and I had no problem trusting my mum, I think she actually enjoyed it.

adath · 12/06/2007 08:35

DD is 3.8 and has only been away for one night at a time a handful of times. When she was younger i just couldn't leave her and now she is a bit older one night is enough for her. I could leave her longer if need be and she asks sometimes not to go to Granny and grandads house, ds 14 months has never been away for more than a few hours, he just isn't ready although my mum would be happy to take him if he was happy to go but even if he was he wouldn't be happy for more than one night.

I have a friend who has regularly left her ds from 2 weeks old but when he got to about 6-8 months sometime he wouldn't settle at all and she was called home on many occassions as he wouldn't settle.

See how you feel when the time comes you don't realise how fast the time passes and you might not be ready to leve baby after just 6 months.

kslatts · 12/06/2007 08:39

When dd2 was 3 months old we took dd1 to disneyland paris for the weekend, when dd1 was 4 she stayed with grandparents in Ireland for a few days and last year when dd's were 4 and 6 they stayed with my parents for 3 nights while dh and I went to Rome.

I think 3/4 nights is fine at 6 months and I'm sure your dc will have a great time.

Original poster

Naetha · 12/06/2007 13:22

Thanks for all the replies, really appreciated!

I think it really is going to be a case of "suck it and see" as it were, so I think we'll leave buying the tickets until the last minute!

Thanks again for all the answers - you're a great bunch!

OP posts:

elsieanjoanne · 12/06/2007 13:29

hi my dd has spent the night at my moms a couple of times over night 6ish mo an 9mo but the last time she was teething an was up at 3am soo my mo has consequently said not till she sleeping through in her own bed shame she only 1yo

CantSleepWontSleep · 12/06/2007 13:38

lol - I was going to say an hour or two, but it looks like you don't need any more opinions!!

(If you were planning to breastfeed btw, then don't let the 'wouldn't if I were breastfeeding comments' put you off it. Although it would be difficult, you could express whilst away to keep up your supply, and he could have previously expressed and frozen milk when you aren't there. Not worth giving up the best thing you can do for him/her just for the sake of a few days away ).

sugarfree · 12/06/2007 14:07

Which festival are you talking about?

Fimbo · 12/06/2007 14:17

My dc are 9 & 3, I have never left them for a weekend simply because I don't have any family near by.

When we go back to Scotland in the summer, dh & I are planning a night away in a hotel and will be leaving them with my pil.

dontwanttogetoutofbed · 12/06/2007 14:22

it's harder when your a first time mum. i didn't leave dd1 alone for more than overnight until she was nearly 2.
with dd2 i left her with my mum overnight when she was 3 months, then for 5 days, a weekend, another weekend etc.
if i leave them together its easier for them and for me.
my mum is great, she does better with both of them then i do

MrsTittleMouse · 12/06/2007 16:28

If you are bfing, definitely don't forget to take the breastpump. It was only when I hugged DH that I realised how hard my norks were!

goodmorningday · 12/06/2007 19:53

dh and i had a weekend away in paris when ds1 was 11 mths. i blubbed all the way from waterloo to paris because i was actually leaving him and going to another country. he stayed with grandparents who are extremely competent and loving but i was really heartsick without him (phoned twice each day)....poor dh! thing is when we got back to him i thought there would be whoops and tears...but he just looked at me like i'd come back from the toilet. we did the same a year later, i was sad to leave him but pretty desperate to get away to paris again

HappyMummyOfOne · 12/06/2007 20:17

My DS is 4 and never left him overnight and cant see us doing so for a while - if we go away he comes with us and we dont go out unless its a family day/night out. I think its what you feel comfortable with yourself.

gegs73 · 12/06/2007 20:18

We left ds1 with my parents when he was 8 months old to go to New York for 3 nights! (It had been booked before he was born). I was crying all the way to the airport and until I got on the plane. Did have a great time when we were there but called home alot. When we got back ds was absolutely fine, just me that had been traumatised. Don't know if I would go quite so far away with another baby but 3/4 days sure baby will be fine.

mylittlefreya · 12/06/2007 20:23

We are considering a single night when we get married, dd will be just turned 1.

We have been out for a couple of hours in the evening twice. I am going to a full day's conference next week and that is going to be painful. I haven't been away from her for more than 2 hours. She is 6 months.

krang · 12/06/2007 20:46

I would certainly wait and see. I left DS with my mum for two nights first when he was 5 months old - no problem. Then for another two nights a few months later - no problem. Then again a few months later - no problem. She's having him for two nights in August so we can go to the Big Chill and my SIL is having him for the day this Saturday so we can go to Wireless. So festivals are by no means out! We could take DS but came to the conclusion that we wouldn't enjoy ourselves very much, and neither would he. When he's five or six, definitely, but not while he's still in nappies!

Whenever I have a break from DS I always miss him very much but love having time with my husband and my friends and come back a much better mum for that. But it's entirely your call - there's no right or wrong answer here.

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