You know you are finally a real mother when......

[PetitFilou1]

You are eating a fruit Gu pudding and think 'that pot will make a good thruster for the rocket I'm going to build with ds'

snot doesn't bother you - you can wear something the next day as it's only got a bit on.....

DS burps and throws up his milk down your leg and you're happy because you KNEW he had wind (as has just happened to me).
You finally figure out what the supermarket trolleys with the flat tops are for.

...you think 6.30 is a "lie-in"

....when you are called a "mummy" as opposed to "a lady", or "a woman", or "that person there" by someone else's small child, like i was today at a Country Park when asked if the train was running, answer, yes it is. "That mummy says the train is running, hurray hurray!" I felt great! Ridiculous really isn't it, you'd think the fact that I had two sons of my own would have made that fact sink in before now........

Jackie PMSL, I say Quick Sticks!!

You are happy when a LO pees in your lap while you're watching telly together, because at least it didn't go all over the sofa.
You have sucked snot out of a newborn's nose to allow it to feed - and thought nothing of it.
You think leather jeans might be a good idea, because they are wipe-clean.
Your idea of luxury is being allowed to poo alone.

When introducing yourself, you say "hello, I'm dd1's mum"

MumInBrum, what a glamorous life you lead

""You have caught someone else's vomit in your hands and this was a) intentional and b) a good idea""

Yep that is my one too and when it happened I said to my own mum you know you are a mum when.....

Are you one of those footballer's wives?

Oh Katy, you don't know the 'alf of it!!

Does the vomit not just run out through your fingers? I'm confused!

You spend half an hour deliberating over whether or not your DC is poorly enough to warrant a trip to the doc's.

Re vomit - I once helped out at playgroup and had a REALLY stupid reflex reaction to a child throwing up - yup, I caught it. Why, I am still wondering. Was even in a room with a wooden floor, fgs!

... you spell a word to a grown-up and realise you are using the child alphabet.

... you refer to adults as grown-ups.

You measure how "good" a night is in hours of sleep. And come on MN to talk about it.

When you cut DH's dinner up into bite sized pieces without thinking.

Catching vomit is a reflex action once you are a mother. It's not always very effective though!

whilst telling your dcs not to wipe their noses on their sleeves, you are actually wiping their noses with your sleeve

How many do you have squonk??

sorry, ignore that

When you're so tired you read the word "their" as "your"
Twice

sleeves, noses or children?

2, 1 and 3

pmsl

Maybe there's a niche in the market for a foldable, portable, reusable, eco-friendly vomit catcher