prompted by another thread, sign hear if you love your kids but DON'T enjoy motherhood

[cheeryface]

feel guilty now

I love my dd so much and miss her so much but I find motherhood really hard work and exhausting, I think su to my line of work i expected to be great at it but I am so not. I am at my wits end somedays and in ecstacy others

I find it simultaneously hard work,exhausting,wonderful,tedious,grinding,painful,exhilarat ing,numbing,hilarious,terrifying,life -affirming. The percentage of each depends on the amount of sleep I've had, how much work I've managed to do, and whether there is a specific worry about any of them, or about something else in my life.
Do you not enjoy it at all or have you just been having a hard day/period/?
Do you sometimes enjoy it?
Do you get any solitude?
Solitude = essential ime.

Is she little? don't feel guilty! Few of us are paragons, as reading around mn will testify.
(now fully expect someone to post
"I am a paragon").

.

i love my son to bits but sometimes i just hate how dependant he is on me. i have felt like this from about 5 months and think i won't start enjoying it properly until he starts to walk.

at the moment he just gets so bored and frustrated and needs my attention 100% of the time cos he can't play by himself cos he always ends up pushing his toys away and then he can't get to them. also at the moment he wants to be standing all the time which hecan't yet do on his own and he is justdraining me so much.

Message withdrawn

cheeryface consider making time for yourself so you enjoy some activities/time solely for yourself eg reading/fave telly/listen to CD/long bath/...

explore yourself a wee break eg
getting nursery place for son
share baby sitting with family/friends
local play groups

of course you are not bad - just harassed

i absolutely love my kids to the end of the earth. But, i feel such pressure to do it all 'right'

i feel i have to be there to do everything as their dad or whoever else wont do it right.

i worry about them all the time and it taxes my brain (but i do have an anxiety issue i think). i get stressed if i am going out or anything and sometimes look back at how carefree i used to be.

they are 11 and 8 and i get lots of time during the week to myself as i only work two mornings. i spend it mostly cooking, shopping, cleaning etc though.

i think it's the first time i have admitted it but i just don't really enjoy there company that much. playing with them bores me rigid (although i do it loads)and
their arguments and fights wear me out.
the constant noise irritates me.
i hate the responsibility for anothers well being/ life.

i am dreading the summer holidays as i will be spending every day just me and them and i know i will get so bored and wound up.

you would never guess i felt this way if you knew me though. people seem to think i'm the opposite.

i bet you all think i am a real bitch now.

i love my kids, they are beautiful, amazing, caring boys, a gift...so why have i just wrote all that?

Message withdrawn

Cheeryface, thank you so much for you honesty and all I can say is DITTO!!
XX

cheeryface- all i thought when i read your thread was yep thought that too

of course you are a smashing Mum - i love your candid observations..don't change

I'm with MI on this one (I frequently am!) I'm not cut out for the whole parent thing (DP is so much better at it.....) Also agree with the 'alone' thing. All my friends are childfree and that makes things difficult - we have dinner parties where generall we are off home at 9.00 (having taken ds with us...). Babysiters - forget it, family are miles away - really do need to find someone who sit thou'......I feel like I don't fit in any of my 'worlds' anymore

it's hard isn't it blackduck. i thought everything would be fabulous if i could get through the baby stage but it's still hard work!

i actually escaped to a motley crue gig last night, i was stressin before i went as i thought left with 'dad' they would be up far too late etc.
the homework didn't get done [hmmm] but i had a fab time, felt like myself again for a while!!!

Yup - love them to dearly and would do anything for them but dear god when they were little they were so dull.

I am not a natural mother

It does not come easy to me but the older they have got the better it has become in that I can do things with them that are not completley dull and they are becoming quite interesting people in their own right.

Am always getting things wrong.