prompted by another thread, sign hear if you love your kids but DON'T enjoy motherhood

[cheeryface]

feel guilty now

I think you probably do enjoy motherhood, just not certain aspects of it.

FGS don't feel guilty about that

not sure what other thread you mean, but there are days when i most certainly do not enjoy motherhood...but then you get days like today

new paddling pool , sun is shining, DS , DD & 5 friends tearing round the garden, all laughing and having fun, eating ice lollies, playing games, and being wonderful

and that makes it all worth while!!

do not feel guilty, for what is perfectly normal. you cannot enjoy anything 100 % of the time

aw cheery

i don't always like motherhood, no. its hard work a lot of the time.

But when I was working I didn't always like that. I liked having my job but my god it involved some necessary, but boring bits.

are yours quite young? it IS hard when they are young.

i also think that motherhood is highly unglamourous and SAHMness in particular is not something that attracts kudos, and that doesn't help.

As ohters have said, please don't feel guilty.

I have days, even weeks of feeling as though I don't like being a mum. But then something happens to change all that. I think we all go through phases of not wanting to be with our children - but I doubt any of us would like that to be a permanent thing. My mum once said to me that being a mother has been by far the hardest but in many ways the most rewarding and satisfying experience of her life.

Hang on in there!

Do you get any time to yourself?

I really didn't enjoy being a mum for the first year.
But the last five months have been magical.
It can change, so please dont feel bad.
I think some of us aren't suited to enjoy certain areas of their developement.

Don't feel guilty, I have been feeling very similar over the last few weeks. My eldest has been constantly answering me back & pushing me, and both boys have been squabbling constantly.

I love them loads, but would be lying if I said I was enjoying motherhood right at this moment in time!

Was it the shouting thread Cherryface?

I really found motherhood very, very hard for a long while. It's easier now. But I still have days when I quite madly envy people unafflicted with children.

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I love, love, love having children, and when I think about missing out on it, I feel cold with horror, but that doesn't mean I love spending every second of the day with them or doing what they want.
It is sometimes frustrating, stifling, restrictive, annoying and angry-making to a degree that I suspect most childless people cannot begin to imagine. It can drag you down and reveal the most awful, wicked parts of your personality.
But....even when I am out without children I constantly see things and think, 'oh, dd/ds would love that' and just really miss them. I like having them about. Right now they are watching Sleeping Beauty and I am trying to work (ahem) and I'm very glad they are about. The house is empty without them.

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I suspect I am not cut out for this motherhood lark, you know. There's an awful lot of stuff people seem to enjoy that I just, well, don't. From the new baby stage onwards.

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It helps to have some regular time to yourself.

Oh yes, if I didn't work I'd have been arrested by now.

pruni is spot on

we are meant to enjoy it, all of it, all the time

and not everyone DOES

It DOESN'T make you a bad mother. If you really hated ALL of it, it might mean you needed to rethink how you were structuring your life, thats all.

I also think it depends what you mean by 'motherhood'.

No one enjoys anything all the time. But if the not enjoying is outweighing the enjoying then you might have something to think about.

I'm with mi on this. Crave, crave crave solitude a lot of the time

Agree totally with motherinferior. I too wistfilly look at those without although love my kids.

yes thats the thing isn't it?

i crave solitude

but i always HAVE

life does entail doing quite a lot of boring stuff, whether its filling in 400 forms or reading bloody Thomas for the 100th time.

don't feel guilty, cheery, but post more, perhaps theres something one of us can suggest

Yes, have also always craved solitude. I think that's why some personality types find motherhood especially hard - the enforced constant noise.

I have one day a week where both dd1 and dd2 do a full day at school/nursery

So during dd3s lunchtime nap I read and drink tea on the sofa - so thats one hour a week alone, apart from teh 15 minute drive to work three times a week.

I really look forward to it, I turn the phone off and everything.

I honestly never, ever, ever envy people without children. I might think, 'oh it would be nice to potter off to Paris on a whim' but hardly anyone ever does that, even without kids. Actually , the only people I really envy are people with more children than I have.
I am not a perfect mother by any means at all. And I love bunking off.

Actually, rather a lot of it is ahem quite boring. And/or stressful. Looked at objectively.

I love my daughters to distraction, really I do