Am I pushing my 3.5 year old too much with number of activities?

[nightowl28]

I have a 3.5 year old DD who does full time nursery (8:15-3:30) Monday to Friday.

She has Ballet on Saturday mornings 30 minutes

Most weekends we go swimming as a family.

And currently want to put her on for

Drama Sunday mornings 1.5 hours
Tuesday after schools Gymnastics 45 minutes.

She already does Tennis and drama at nursery too during the week.

Is this too much for a child this age? I'm conscious about pushing her too much and it backfiring on me.

I would leave the drama and gymnastics for a while. A ballet class and family swimming seems enough for that age, to me.
That number of activities is more what my DS’ peers in year 1 would be doing, than a nursery child.
They’ve got plenty of time ahead to try new activities!

I have a 3.5 yr old who is at nursery 9 - 3 5 days a week and I think that is too much - also, it's really not necessary. Let her have time to potter at home with you and relax - and do family activities (even if that is just curling up watching a film!)

Also - just my personal opinion but I think a 1.5 hour class of drama is much too long at that age! My 3 yr old would be bored/ exhausted by that. I have a 6 year old who does an hour long drama one day a week and that is enough for them - my 3 yr old has watched but doesn't want to join in.

Make time for playing in the park and making friends.

Life is exhausting for modern kids - a 3 year old really doesn't need all that, it would be better for her to just chill out with you.

Don't pick up any other activities for now. She needs some down time. I think one day a week where there is no schedule activity should always be preserved.

Bloody hell that would be way too much for an adult, let alone a toddler!!! Why do you feel she needs to be doing all of that?
My 6 year old goes to bike club on a Sunday and race season has just started so every other(ish) week he'll be racing on a Saturday. He also does a fun fit class on a Thursday evening and he wants to re-start his swimming lessons on a Tuesday next term but I'm umming and ahhing if that will be too much for him!

Christ, let her be a little girl and play at home.

Way too much imo. My nearly 7yo does 2 activities a week and I think that's ample at the moment.

My 3.5 year old would be exhausted by the nursery hours alone.

Agree too much. My DD (just 4) does nursery 9-12 three times a week and 9-3 two days a week, then swims on one afternoon. That’s it. The rest of the time is spent pottering at home, park trips, seeing friends, cooking and the odd family day/morning out. Even with this she still naps two or three times a week (and sleeps about 6.30-6.30). She’d be absolutely exhausted if she did what you propose.

Yeah that's too much!

My DD(9) does dancing twice a week and drama once a week after school.

They need time to relax at home too.

Great! Glad to read all this. I only felt obliged because most of her friends in class seem to be forever doing an activity. I already felt it was a bit much but didn't want her to be "behind" as such if all her peers are doing things.

Why might you want her to be doing all these things? What is the purpose of it all? Are you worried that you might have to spend some time with her?

My DD is the same age as yours, does preschool 3 days a week, speech therapy 1 day, and has swimming and gymnastics on another day, and I find by Saturday she is wiped out and really keen just to play at home or at most potter into town via the park. Your DD's current schedule would be hard work for her, adding 2 more activities would be disastrous. What's the mad rush to get her into everything?

Are you serious? This is the craziest thing I've read in ages.

A bit of kindy yes, the rest - no.

Depends on the child.

Mine was at nursery, and did a 30 min ballet class, 45 mins gymnastics and family swim outside of that.

Swimming i think is invaluable as a life skill, ballet teaches them posture and along with gymnastics is great for spatial awareness, motor skills and learning physical boundaries.

I had other parents telling me i was “pushy” because my kid did those three activities. But she was a high energy kid who i struggled to wear out- those three acivities meant we all slept and ate better, and she was less destructive and climbed less at home. If we missed one she was exhausting!

Worth noting as well that gymnastics at least, often has long wait lists at school age. If it’s something they enjoy getting a pre school place and continuing is a way to guarantee a place. Once dd got to school i had many parents asking me where she did gym and how to get their kid in a class. There were no spaces and i don’t think any ever actually started. Including one of the mums who told me i was “pushy” and she was going to wait until her child asked to do an activity....

Ds 1 is 3.5. He does nursery 2 days 8.30-5.30, and play group one morning with me there. I doubt he could even manage tennis! I would relax and enjoy pottering together.

mishappening 😂😂

Seriously OP, don't use your DC to keep up with the Jones's. If anything, rather than piling more on her, you need to reduce the amount she does. When she's old enough to choose to do as much as that then fair enough.

Mishappening taking her for a short activity (even if the longest is 1.5 hours) doesn't mean I don't like to spend time with her, and given you have zero knowledge on our daily family routine, and what we do outside of nursery or classes, you really are in no place to make such comments.

I was asking for opinions, not judgement. Thanks.

There’s a school of thought that believes that children need a lot of free time and play time to learn to be creative, entertain themselves, develop resilience and social skills. I agree with this and don’t think they should have constant adult led activities.

My DD does swimming lessons and playball outside of school nursery (2.5 days) and nursery (2 days)

At nursery does games, cooking and apparently Spanish (although tbh I think all she has picked up so far is "hola" )

Was pondering music / gymnastics but haven't really taken it much further - it's also nice for us not to have too many other commitments

Also, what three year old needs to be taught acting and drama, it’s all comes naturally in this house 😂

Asking for opinions is asking for judgement though 🤔

Whoever said about swimming: yes it's a life skill but not one they can gain u til at least five, developmentally preschoolers are not ready. It's a gigantic con. I mean, it's not as if you're going to leave them unattended in a pool anyway. Better to start them at 6 and get it all done and dusted within a few terms.

Blimey, I'm exhausted just reading that!

Yes I think it's way too much. I'm all for extra curricular activities but this does seem a bit OTT

No activities until year 1 in this house. (Except swimming lessons which I start at 4.5). Completely ridiculous use of family /play time in my opinion.

I think it’s far to much for a child her age. My 6 year old goes to school plus attends after school club 2 days a week and does pony trekking and football which I feel i enough plus we often swim as a family together most weeks.

My 3.5 year old does gymnastics, swimming and dance. Most activities at that age are just for fun and I’d never force it or expect too much and neither do the teachers. I don’t think there is any harm with having a few fun no pressure activities if they enjoy them. Some kids need a bit of structure during weekends.

@CheeseyToast I disagree - my DD turned 3 this week, and can swim 2 or 3 metres on her own, having been swimming since 3 months old - although the main focus has been survival skills. My DS fell in the pool aged 4, and immediately swam back to the surface and turned to find something to hold on to (DH was in the pool).
So I don’t think it has been a gigantic con for them at all.