Am I pushing my 3.5 year old too much with number of activities?

[nightowl28]

I have a 3.5 year old DD who does full time nursery (8:15-3:30) Monday to Friday.

She has Ballet on Saturday mornings 30 minutes

Most weekends we go swimming as a family.

And currently want to put her on for

Drama Sunday mornings 1.5 hours
Tuesday after schools Gymnastics 45 minutes.

She already does Tennis and drama at nursery too during the week.

Is this too much for a child this age? I'm conscious about pushing her too much and it backfiring on me.

I go to the gym twice a week. It absolutely knackered me, so I can't imagine what it must be like to be little and lurching from activity to activity. I tried lots of things as a kid but dropped them all fairly rapidly. My most useful activities were reading and playing an instrument (leArned in school, often during peak or 're lessons as a bonus). I lied my arse off on my personal statement and job applications in.th r wider interests bit and no one ever cared. My dc just want to play or be my satellites when I'm ever not working.

I am not so totally against a child having a lot of classes if the alternative is time spent in front of a screen.

Mine all did a sport, an instrument and a social thing like Cubs or brownies. They tried a few different options. Have to say at three they did nothing, activities only really kicked in at six or seven.

They have all grown up into healthy, fit and sociable young adults.
The modern trend for time tabling your tosssers sounds exhausting: no way could I be bothered with that.

And another vote for teeny swimming being a waste of time. We took our lot for family swims regularly and they had bags of water confidence. When they started swimming lessons at 5 or 6 they were swimming in a matter of weeks. DS2 actually did a length on his first lesson and was moved straight into the next group up.

A width sorry not a length.

Your poor daughter this is way to much for any child. When does she ever have time to just be a kid. It is you who wants her to do all these things not her. Even if she says she does its because she doesn't understand the pressure just yet.

I'd taught my DD to swim 10m or so before she started school - for some reason I'd got it into my head that it was something you were supposed to do like making sure they could write their name - goodness knows where I got that from!! So it's entirely possible.

Anyway OP I just wanted to say this - it sounds like you live in a pretty well off area and what you need most of all is to develop confidence in your own convictions. I'm assuming you're a teacher or similar to have DD in childcare daily but be able to collect her so early in the day but maybe not - you're her mum and you can know the best thing for her. Take the long view - where do you want her to end up in broad terms? What skills does she need encouraging in? If her peers do loads you are right to question is that the best thing for her - and just because you can afford it doesn't mean that you should.

I can't see any kind of break? She is doing this stuff 7 days a week. What day does she get to just rest, relax and run around in her pjs?

She is definitely doing too much, way too much. Burn out springs to mind.

Swimming is important as it could save her life, and one other activity chosen by her is ample. Your schedule honestly is so overshceduled I am amazed you are not seeing some serious behaviour issues from tiredness and lack of down time.

My dc are much older and only do two sports/hobbies a week each. dc more than anything given she is already at nursery full time will need time to grow, to play, to feel relaxed.

Where did you get the idea that preschoolers can't swim?@cheeseytoast?
My kids were jumping off the (low) diving board at two years of age as were all their friends. Admittedly they didn't swim with style, more doggy paddle but certainly confident in (and under) the water.

I have also seen very young babies enjoy swimming unaided with their parents.

Eliza teachers don't get to leave school at 3.30 - they're usually there until 5/6pm.

Don't do too much now...and save your money for activities later! The one and only thing we started seriously at that age was music lessons that are still done today (to a high level), 13 years later.

That is a lot of activities. And I say that as someone with an extrovert 4 year old who does quite a number.
My Dd does swimming lesson, dance (ballet & tap) and a musical theatre class (drama, singing, dance). Swimming is then only one I made her so, and she can swim a couple of metres of backstroke and front crawl now and love sthe water. The rest she signed herself up for. The difference though is she only does preschool 8-3 for 3 days a week so still has plenty of time to just play. Although she mainly plays at preschool which I think people forget

I don’t see the need for your daughter to do drama twice a week? That certainly seems excessive.

If you're pushing her to do things it's too much. If she's pushing you on the other hand I think it's fine.

This is the best advice. My son would be horrified to do that many activities. My daughter thrives on them and is constantly asking to do more (it’s me that doesn’t have the energy for more driving around!).

Yes, absolutely too much! When will she have any time to just be a child.

The comment about the activities being better than screen time clearly hasn’t read the child’s age! Hardly going to spending her life on a screen. Most three year olds player hours in the garden, with toys or making things. It is not just activities or screen time. What a sad comment to make about a toddler

I’ll disagree with the majority here, no I don’t think it’s to much for certain children. All children are different. My daughter at 3.5 did swimming, tennis, football, gymnastics and trampolining all at that age and then went family swimming once a week to. Most of her classes included parent participation and she loved them, was great to do different stuff with her... if one week she were tired or didn’t want to go (only happened twice) then we didn’t go was simple as that. She’s now 6 and still does loads of activities she does swimming, hockey, trampoline, street dance, rainbows, drama and diving... she loves them all and asks to go. We go by the same rule if she doesn’t want to go, we have other plans or I think she’s to tired then she just misses it and we don’t go.

This is a bizarre thread. Are people misreading it? The class OPs child currently does is:

Ballet

OP wants to add in:

Drama
Gymnastics

What is this rubbish about not being able to play outside or potter around or be a kid?OP is proposing her child spends 2 HOURS 45 MINS A WEEK in classes

What’s the big deal?

When will she have any time to just be a child.
a) preschool activities are designed for being a child in, and
b) then there's the other 10 hours a day

It's never too early to teach a child to swim. They can drown at any age.

Drama? Unnecessary - most 3 year olds are drama queens anyway even without classes!

Too much imo.

I towed back from lots of after school stuff when both my dcs were around 6/8 yrs.

Swimming is a must but my two were desperate to give up lessons after several years of it. They really just wanted fun swimming with us.

I used to do 2 x swimming lessons, judo, ballet, science club every week. Way too much.

Now they are teens and tweens. We have mostly downtime and I schedule nothing hardly. They both do drama in intensive spurts through school. They both learn and instrument via school. We do Scouts which sometimes involves a camp or weekend activity and that is it. It's fantastic. Kids are thriving, happy and doing well at school. I'm so glad I got off the 'activity' wagon.

Definitely depends on the child, but I think a 1.5 hour long drama lesson seems quite a long time. My DS is 3.8, and does 3 full nursery days (soon to be 2 days as my job situation has changed), and a 45 min gymnastics class on one of the non-nursery days. He’s very easily bored at home, and frequently will ask ‘what are we doing today?’ so I’m looking into swimming too as he’d like to try that. I have an 11mo DD as well, so I have to consider her when planning activities as she’s no longer happy sat in the pushchair or on my lap.

Snow true - I couldn't think how else OP worked 5 short days tho. Not that it matters, I guess there are some part time jobs where there's little flexibility. Some teachers I know take all their after school work home however.

Not sure what's so surprising about working short days. I do it myself, in an office based job. There are loads of things OP could be doing. Or she could be in an area where the preschool year is routinely full time.

But main thing: what does the child want to do. Not what did other people's children want to do, or what tired out other people's children, or what other adults think is the "right" amount of activities to do. OP, does your child want to do activities and have energy for them? That's what matters here. If not sure, try it, see if child loves it or isn't bothered (in which case why waste your money) or actively hates it.

I work short days in a fairly senior role. 9.30-2.30 and then I do the rest of my work in the evenings. Many of the parents at work do a similar pattern.