Am I pushing my 3.5 year old too much with number of activities?

[nightowl28]

I have a 3.5 year old DD who does full time nursery (8:15-3:30) Monday to Friday.

She has Ballet on Saturday mornings 30 minutes

Most weekends we go swimming as a family.

And currently want to put her on for

Drama Sunday mornings 1.5 hours
Tuesday after schools Gymnastics 45 minutes.

She already does Tennis and drama at nursery too during the week.

Is this too much for a child this age? I'm conscious about pushing her too much and it backfiring on me.

DD is an only and she did lots of activities from a young age (all at the same venue though), ballet from 2.5 years, tap, drama, singing, street, modern, acro from 4 onwards. She enjoyed the social side which was the primary purpose but honestly, in terms of ability she isn't much different to those who started at 6 and if I had another I wouldn't bother with them until she was older. Most children have massive leaps once they hit 6/7 because that's when their gross motor skills and coordination really improve.

We do swimming (20 mins) gymnastics (45 mins) and messy art class (1 hour) each week, amongs5 lots of family bike rides and the like. Now 4 but started at 2. It's not too much for us as he's only in pre-school 12 hours a week. But I will stop all of it when he starts reception in September as he'll be knackered. He can pick what to start up again, or start from scratch when he's older.

Please don't enflict all that on such a young child. Mine are 12 soon and we always made sure activities were just a couple.

The most important question is what does your DD think? If you're pushing her to do things it's too much. If she's pushing you on the other hand I think it's fine.

DS was not at all into activities as a preschooler.

DD on the other hand was doing gymnastics, violin, swimming and begging to add ballet on top of preschool. All carried on in reception with energy to spare. I would be completely clear though that activities at the age of 3 are about having fun at the age of 3 not about reaching Olympic standard any sooner.

As for learning to swim 1000m in a year, if they do that at any age they're a talented swimmer. Most of DS's class at 7 were still in the baby pool after a year. I do know 4 yr old preschoolers clocking up 25m lengths though. Depends on the child not the age.

It sounds like you are feeling under pressure to give them every opportunity and not let them be missing out. I think what that age of children often do miss out on is unstructured play and relaxation. If poss I'd swap one of the activities for being in nature, just taking a relaxed family walk or picnic with no agenda. U can give her a bag or bucket to collect nature treasures in if she needs a mission at first. Unstructured child-led play is so beneficial and the resilience and coping skills of learning how to be in "being mode" not just "doing mode" for me outweigh the benefits of multiple structured clubs.

"jack of all trades, master of none"
springs to mind

I tried to do this with my DD and she was so exhausted I thought she had a health problem
Turns out the health problem was tiredness.
She is currently watching Bing and eating cereal in her pyjamas, before soft play and lunch out
y'know, being a kid

It seems a bit much, yes. I think generally a lot of kids do crazy amounts of activities, certainly compared to when I was younger and did dancing and brownies and that was it!

It isn't that she won't be "doing an activity"- you won't be putting her in a box if she isn't in a class. You will be giving her the chance to play- which is how little people learn.
Soooo incredibly important to protect play time.

They are awake for 12+ hours a day. Take out an hour for an activity and some time for meals and baths, they're still free playing for 9+ hours a day. Family swimming time is free play in water, unless you're drilling them in front crawl. Tbh the amount of time DD at 3 was awake and her peers were sleeping was enough for 2 activities a day with change. As with so many things, I think the best thing is to let the child lead. DD was begging to join in her brother's activities from age of 1, so when she was old enough we let her.

As for "jack of all trades", trying lots of things at preschool/primary age sounds perfect to me. How can they decide what they love without trying? Unless you're bringing up an Andy Murray or a Judit Polgar, choosing a single favourite comes much later.

Not at al IMO. The nursery activities are irrelevant- she’s there anyway- and she’s only doing 30 mind ballet and family swim. 2 more shouldn’t be a problem at all. Mine do 2 classes on a Saturday, 1 on a Friday and FT nursery (8.30-5.30) in between. They have loads of energy

*Today 07:39 user380968

Too much for that age

My 7 year does 3 per week, 30min swimming on the weekend, 1.5 hour brownies and 1 hour yoga. Apart from the 30min swimming they are all very relaxing activities and I feel she still has lots of relaxing time.*

OPs child is only going to be doing 3

Ballet
Drama
Gymnastics

Personally I don't think it's 'WAY too much,'. Or that is warrants some of the responses you've had! It's also horses for courses. Depends on her. I do agree that any activity of 1.5 hours is probably too long at that age though.
I have a 3.5yr old boy. He does nursery 8am-12pm 5 days a week. He does tag rugby for 2 hours at the weekend and a half hour swimming lesson. He could definitely do more and I often struggle to think of stuff to do in the afternoons to keep him occupied.
Also just out of interest - a PP referred to this age as a toddler! Really? I find that odd when I think of mine running around playing tag rugby!

The 1.5 hour class is a bit odd but if it’s designed for that age group there must be a reason behind it?

Also the swimming thing is rubbish cheesy . My son started lessons at just turned 3. Now at 3.5 he's swimming widths underwater independently and bloody loves it. Far from being a waste of money, it's been some of the best money I've ever spent.

Lolz this is EXACTLY what I mean 10m? What use is that? Absolutely none.

How can being able to swim 10m at 4 be useless? If they were to be left unattended or fall into water they are much less likely to drown than a child who can't. It also means they can get used to feeling safe in water, have fun and build strength and motor skills.
When children only start to be taught to swim at 6+ IME they often find it too scary to begin with and are reluctant to be let go off and try.

From the perspective of probably over scheduled kids (though mine are older) I would avoid having activities on Sat and Sun as it means you don't get a day off at all.

You know your child, if you think she would enjoy and thrive on it I would do everything except the Sunday am drama, especially if she is doing drama at nursery

It’s easy to fall into the trap of keeping up with others are doing with their DCs. Your life sounds pretty busy already and having some free time together as a family far more important than rushing around to activity after activity. Decide what is best for your child and your family and stick with this.

Agree with PPs. More down time and child led play time needed.

If a parent had that many activities for child I'd immediately think they want their child out of the way a lot.

& also want to make child so knackered that whenever they're at home, they're quickly asleep ie parents gaining even more child-free time ...

In answer to your question, a simple yes, IMO. Way way too much. Does she have time to think or process anything?

Young children need plenty of down time just to potter about. They need free time to process and procrastinate or even just poke around the garden with a stick.

I have friends who whisk their children from activity to activity 'because it wears them out, they don't sleep properly otherwise.' I privately think the reason their children are hyper and sleeping poorly is because they're stressed and fraught by their too hectic lifestyle.

Our children didn't learn to swim until they were 5 and at school. Within one term they could swim as far and as strongly as their friends who started learning at 2.

Going to join in the overwhelming chorus of let kids be kids. My SIL takes my kids to millions of activities, and as they have a Merlin pass they spend every weekend at Legoland or similar. Girls have no chilled time off and are incapable of amusing themselves. If your default position is rollercoasters, how can you ever entertain yourself on a quiet day at home? No creative thinking/ play, zero resilience.

What you're doing at the moment is plenty, shes not left with much time to just relax and spend with you otherwise.

DD (5) is in reception so 8.45-3 with school holidays off, and does swimming once a week and ballet once a week so basically the same.
I'm not going to add anything else until next year as shes already tired after the day she does ballet after school and just wants to relax after.

Dd is in yr 1. She does swimming once a week. She has absolutely no.interest in any other activity. I kind of wish she would, but enjoy not having to rush about-she's already out from 730-5.